Posted on 10/29/2004 4:50:59 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
In this edition of the DUmmie Funnies, you have an opportunity to commiserate with a certain Dummie, WildEyedLiberal, as he grieves over the loss of his friend to the forces of right-wing fascism on this THREAD. BTW, you might encounter WildEyedLiberal types in real life who will try to convert you over to the forces of Socialism. If they do so in the next few days in order to get you to vote for Kerry, here is a FUN thing to do. Instead of arguing with them, act like you are undecided. The WildEyedLiberal will leap on this “indecision” like a piranha on red meat. Allow the WildEyedLiberal to argue on and on about why you should vote for Kerry. Finally after about a half hour of this rant, act like the WildEyedLiberal finally convinced you to vote Kerry. Then as he/she/it/whatever starts to walk away smugly, say something that indicates you might backtrack. But instead of mentioning something to do with policy, say that you might vote for Bush for something completely inane such as Bush is more into baseball than Kerry. This will absolutely INFURIATE the WildEyedLiberal and he will try to reindoctrinate you all over again. Of course, you again act like you are leaning to Kerry only to AGAIN backtrack. The purpose of this, other than getting ENORMOUS entertainment value out of the frustration of the liberal is that it will burn up his time, leaving him with less crucial hours to spend trying to get more converts for Kerry. As usual the desperate DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the sage commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:
My friend has officially drunk the kool aid. This depresses me greatly. Her parents are moderate Republicans who supported McCain in 2000. She and I have had arguments in the past, and she's always known that I am a die-hard Democrat. We've been in college for two years now, and I finally thought she was coming around. She's very pro-gay rights, and tells me she considers herself "socially liberal." She agrees with me when I talk to her about politics, usually. She actually BOUGHT the swift boat shit back over the summer, but after a stern talking-to from me, she acknowledged that Kerry did "earn his medals" and that he did have a "right" to speak out about the war. (As if his freedom of speech depended upon anyone's permission, but I digress.) The last time I saw her, I enumerated several of Bush's failings, and she told me she thinks he's a "bad leader." So, I think I've won. She's still basically Republican, yes, but she at least has enough common sense to vote against the fascist bush junta.
[Thus spaketh one WildEyedLiberal from his high-horse lectern pontificating on political morality as he/she/it/whatever sees it.]
Yeah, well, apparently she just tells me what I want to her. She stood me up for lunch earlier this week, so I went to send her a message on AIM, and after doing so, I randomly clicked on her user profile and scrolled down past her sorority letters and song lyrics to find, hidden at the bottom : "W'04"
[To paraphrase Algore: “SHE BETRAYED ME!!!”]
WTF?? Why, why didn't she just come out and tell me, "hey, I'm a moron freeper and I support BUSH!!!" She agreed with all my talking points, even has agreed that Bush is a dire threat to the foundation of this nation. Obviously, she was just giving me lip service. I don't know if she was afraid I would go off on her if she admitted to supporting Bush wholeheartedly, but I wonder if she realizes how much her dishonesty has damaged my opinion of her, let alone her support of fascism. And she must think I'm stupid if she thinks I would never notice her AIM profile. It's all very, very discouraging. Also, this girl isn't stupid in the traditional sense, either; she goes to the same university I do and gets decent grades, and I can have suitably intellectual conversations with her. I have no explanation for her support of Bush, I really don't, other than maybe willful ignorance.
[Have you ever stopped to think, WildEyedLiberal, that maybe she was turned off but that neon orange dayglo jockstrap you were wearing on the outside of your pants?]
The fact that she ditched me on our lunch date Tuesday is a separate issue, but she has yet to get ahold of me and apologize to me, which is exceedingly rude. I am tempted to just say f*ck it, at this point. She's been a bit of a fairweather friend in the past, but I'm the kind of person who doesn't hold grudges, and it would take an awful lot for me to throw away a 5 year friendship. But this just might be the lotion in the basket, folks. I'm seriously considering whether to go out of my way to contact her again. If she calls me, I think I'm going to tell her how I feel, both about being ditched and about her lying to me about supporting bush. F*ck it all, I'm so angry right now. I'm going to go get tacos.
[Poor WildEyedLibeal, he/she's been both ditched and bitched and now he/she/it is SOOOO MAAAAD that he/she/it is going to smother his face in tacos. I’ve heard that burying your face in tacos is a traditional Hopi Indian cure for extreme fits of anger.]
In my experience sorority girls are generally right wing airheads, who grow up to be right wing airhead moms. Not all of them, but many.
[Another DUmmie steps in above to sympathize with WildEyedLiberal. Damn sorority girls. Mostly a bunch of rabid rightwingers. (But FUN when drunk!)]
My best guy friend last year was in a fraternity. I know plenty of very nice people in both fraternities and sororities. However, lots of Greeks (including my friend to some extent) look down on you if you aren't a fellow Greek. Maybe that's why she blows me off so easily now; because her Greek friends are way cooler than me.
[Perhaps you can rectify that situation, WildEyedLiberal, by taking a shower this year and washing that purple dye out of your hair. Oh, and a personality transplant wouldn’t hurt either.]
In my experience on this campus, most Greeks are elitist when it comes to who they deem cool enough to hang out with. I already said that not all are like that, but many are. That's my experience. My friend is like that quite a bit. You don't like that generalization, then fine. I'm glad none of your fraternity brothers were assholes about it. I know plenty of frat guys who are. I know plenty of George Bush style frat guys, too, who think they're the kings of the campus parading around in their letters and expecting girls to fall at their feet because they're in Skulls or Pikes. I think the secret handshakes and initiation rites are lame. Sorry. Just because I only have two Greek friends, that doesn't mean I don't have them in all my classes and live next to them in my dorm.
[VERRRRY interesting. WildEyedLiberal elaborates on his/her/whatever dislike of Greeks. I think we can see here the roots of his dislike of George Bush. He is too much like a frat boy. And for this WildEyedLiberal is wallowing his life away in Leftist bile.]
The term frat boy has to me, become synomymous with juvenile behavior and not employing intelligence and critical thinking. Bush solidified the association for me.
[Another DUmmie chimes in on his Frat Boy = George Bush equation. Here is another equation: Nerd Boy = Angry DUmmie.]
I always think of Bush as an arrogant frat boy.
[I always think of DUmmies as angry nerds.]
Who cares about what some stupid freeper does.
[Hmm…. Well apparently the maladjusted WildEyedLiberal does. But let’s hear what he/she has to say AGAIN…]
I care because she's been my friend longer than anyone else. I am very shy and don't make friends easily, and to have her be so duplicitious and insulting my intelligence so really bothers me. I'm sure I could act like it doens't matter, but the truth is that it does. I don't see how I can ever respect her again. She moved to my town my freshman year of high school, and became the best friend I had then. SHe's not my *best* friend any more, but it still upsets me that obviously my friendship doesn't matter to her very much.
[Hey WildEyedLiberal! I am a member of a very exclusive fraternity where I am typing this right now. I am a bigtime jock fratboy whose name you have probably seen on the sport pages (if you ever read them). Women you can only dream about fall all over me constantly. Normally I wouldn’t even notice your nerdy presence unless you had the gall to knock on my frat house door, in which case I would squash you like a cockroach. However, I’ll tell you what. I will allow you to enter my hallowed frat and cry into your hankie as you relate your story to me and my fellow frat brothers so we can laugh like hell while downing our brewskis. Yeah, I can see how you don’t make friends easily but at least you could provide us with LOTS of entertainment with your hilarious Nerd Angst.]
I'm sorry to hear that. If you really felt that she has been a good friend to you, then please don't lose her friendship over the * administration. It's really not worth it. Go over to her and tell her that you know she still supports W, and you wish that she would have been honest with you. Let her know that you're willing to accept her for who she is (as long as you really do) and that you hope she will tell you the truth from now on in return.
[Your DUmmie Buddie, WildEyedLiberal, is going to need a lot more of your sympathy soon. Obviously, despite being of vague sexual orientation, he/she does have the hots for the sorority girl who went over to the Dark Side. Because of this, I will use our Privileged Greek System tracking system to find this girl. Because I am built like a Greek God and have a great extroverted personality, that sorority girl will fall for me immediately like all the others. Then I will invite her to the Bush Inaugural Ball (I will get the invitation because of my wealthy influential family background) and shack up with her in a luxury D.C. hotel that weekend. Then I will send WildEyedLiberal an Inauguration postcard from the both of us…. Like I said, WildEyedLiberal will be in great need of your sympathy.]
Sorry to hear that, WildEyedLiberal. It's hard to loose friends, especially during college (I lost my share). I know how you feel. But, before you do anything, make sure you think things through. You've been friends for a long time. Yeah, she's a freeper and didn't come clean with you. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you should throw in the towel yet. In the end, it's your decision--only you can decide what's best for you.
[After I get done with her on Inaugural Weekend, WildEyedLiberal’s “girlfriend” won’t give him/her the time of day since I will straighten her out about Left-Wing, maladjusted, nerds. But just to show there are no hard feelings, I will allow WildEyedLiberal to polish my brand new canary yellow Corvette.]
Its good that she stood you up, its good that she's voting for *. You could have married her! Thank goodness you won't be living with a shrew the rest of your life. There are many fine progressive women. Head down to the Kerry/Edwards office and volunteer this weekend. Meet someone new. Someone who shares your values. Hope you saved yourself for marriage!
[You think WildEyedLiberal could have married her??? NOT A CHANCE! Even without my frat boy Greek God presence entering the scene, NO sorority chick is going to have any type of normal social relations with a smelly, socially awkward, lefty lunatic nerd like WildEyedLiberal. Like you said, he/she needs to be content with smelly, socially award lefty lunatic nerds. And GOOD NEWS!!! Janet Reno is DATING!!!]
Oh, no, we're both straight girls! LOL! Sorry, by lunch date, I just meant, lunch commitment. LOL! Thanks for the concern, though, you're sweet! No, no romantic feelings involved here! I DO need to find a nice, sexy, progressive MAN, though.
[So it turns out that WildEyedLiberal is a “straight girl.” Female perhaps, but “straight” I’m not so sure since she obviously has the hots for this sorority girl. Oh, and you need a “progressive” man? Then check out Michael “Jabba the Shmuck” Moore.]
I think I'm more pissed that she's blown me off, like I don't even matter. Finding the fascist endorsement in her profile was just icing. I think that I'll try to have a talk with her if she ever bothers to contact me, which is unlikely, since she very rarely talks to me unless I call her or im her first. I've just decided that I'm not going to take the initiative this time. If she gives a damn about our friendship, then she'll apologize to me for standing me up. She's the one who's been neglecting it, not me.
[Thus WildEyedLiberal finishes up her harangue with a fit of obnoxious self-righteousness. Does this Lefty not fit the profile of a lovelorn stalker? Well, I’m done with the sage commentary tonight. Time now for me and my jock frat buddies to have a keg party as the hot sorority chicks fawn all over us. Perhaps that hint of dew on the windows is from the noses of maladjusted leftwing nerds pressing up to stare in envy from outside at our typical frat Friday.]
And Kerry "earned the right to speak" by his war service, but apparently the Swift Boat vets did not. What cracked me up the most, though, is all the hand wringing "why did she lie to me" whining. Let's see, all Bush supporters are fascists, unintelligent, frat boy worshipping, empty headed morons (although this girl may be intelligent because she goes to the same college as WildEyedLiberal... yes, that is the gold standard for intelligence, as we all know). Well, of course your friend is going to tell you she is a Bush supporter. No doubt she enjoyed your "talking to" so much that she can't wait to get some more of them. I am just surprised that this friend didn't tell WildEyedLiberal to just, um.... get lost. However, I have to admit I'm not convinced the friend really is a Bush supporter. She may be, but on the other hand, if pledging support for Bush (regardless of truth) would be sufficient to rid herself of this sanctimonious, rude, arrogant, self-righteous, vaguely unsettling stalker... shoot, I'd claim to be a Nader supporter if I had to! However, I'd say in the eyes of the "friend," Pres. Bush probably just made her world that much more safer. She's safer from the terrorists and from such annoying lovelorn vile "friends." So if I were her, I'd vote for Pres. Bush out of sheer gratitude! I do love DUmmie FUnnies.....
Actually it is scarier than that. WildEyedLiberal claims to be a "straight girl."
"As if his freedom of speech depended upon anyone's permission, but I digress"
Yeah, unless someone is in favor of the war without being in the military. In that case THAT person doesn't have freedom of speech
Farking hypocrites
Take your time with and have fun coming out with the 'Cronkite Theory' DUmmie FUnnies edition. I'm particularly interested in discovering what Walter's DUmmie user name is.
WildEyedLiberal has "LOSER" tattooed all over her/his/itself. Insult its intelligence? Gimme a break. An amoeba has more intelligense than this nutcase.
intelligense=smarts. Typo = dumbass me. Don't want y'all thinking I have less intelligence that WEL!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.