Skip to comments.New Office Slang (Yuppie Food Coupons - Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.)
Posted on 09/25/2005 6:21:40 PM PDT by InvisibleChurch
New Office Slang 404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, 404 Not Found, which means the document requested couldnt be located. Dont bother asking John. Hes 404.
Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.
Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. I dunno, ask Rick. Hes our alpha geek.
Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Batmobiling - putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling
Beepilepsy - The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
Betamaxed - When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market
Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Blowing Your Buffer - Losing ones train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with wont let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. Damn, I just blew my buffer! (Synonym: Head Crash)
Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesnt work out obsessively.
Bookmark - To take note of a person for future reference. After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him.
Brain Fart - A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; a burst of useful information. I know youre busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust? Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.
CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Chip Jewelry - Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. I paid three grand for that Mac and now its nothing but chip jewelry.
Chips and Salsa - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. First we gotta figure out if the problems in your chips or your salsa.
CLM (Career Limiting Move)- Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
Cobweb - A WWW site that never changes.
Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!
CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.....
Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.
Dead Tree Edition - The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms.
Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss, as is Dilbert, the comic strip character. Damn, Ive been dilberted again! The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.
Dorito Syndrome - The feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now Ive got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome.
Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for ones own name.
Elvis Year - The peak year of popularity as in 1993 was Barney the dinosaurs Elvis year
Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon. Generica - Fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in we were so lost in generica that I couldnt remember what city it was
Glazing - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. Didnt he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?
Going Postal - Totally stressed out and losing it like postal employees who went on shooting rampages
GOOD job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Gray Matter - Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms trying to appear more professional and established.
Graybar Land - The place you go while youre staring at a computer thats processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). That CAD rendering put me in graybar land for like an hour.
High Dome - Egghead, scientist, PhD
Idea Hamsters - People whose idea generators are always running.
Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
Its a Feature - From the old adage, Its not a bug, its a feature. Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant problem you wish to gloss over.
Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some peoples computer keyboards.
Link Rot - The process by which web pages links become obsolete as the sites theyre connected to change or die.
Meatspace - The physical world (as opposed to the virtual) also carbon community facetime F2F RL
Mouse Potato - The online generations answer to the couch potato.
Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize youve just made a terrible error.
Open-Collar Workers - People who work at home or telecommute.
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Perot - To quit unexpectedly. My cellular phone just peroted.
Plug-and-Play - A new hire who doesnt require training. That new guy is totally plug-and-play.
Prairie Dogging - When something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see whats going on.
Ribs N Dick - A budget with no fat as in weve got ribs n dick and were supposed to find 20K for memory upgrades
Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. God, today was a total salmon day!
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
Siliwood - The coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and computers; also Hollywired
SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage
Square-Headed Spouse - Computer
Squirt the Bird - To transmit a signal up to a satellite. Crew and talent are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?
Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy - A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.
Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.
Tourists - Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.
Treeware - Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, this is Dale, my...um...friend.
Under Mouse Arrest - Getting busted for violating an online services rule of conduct. Sorry I couldnt get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.
Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.
Vulcan Nerve Pinch - The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.
WOOFYS - Well Off Older Folks.
World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW.
Xerox Subsidy - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from ones workplace.
Yuppie Food Coupons - Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.
gotta bookmark this
Would that include the 256Kx8 (Macintosh) SIMM I used to carry in my pocket as a keychain before the ends broke? How about the 256M one I used to carry much more recently until it got flakey?
I always referred to them as "veal pens."
My own slang:
Yuppie WalMart= Target
Yuppie Stop and Shop= Trader Joe's
(I shop at both. And yes, I often have twenty dollar bills on me)
The term I'm looking for isn't here (if I can't find it by now, maybe it doesn't exist), but it's still a funny collection.
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