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DUmmie FUnnies 10-03-05 ("Rather was prevented from going after smirk's N.G. paper's rigging")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 3, 2005 | DUmmies, Mary Mapes, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/03/2005 3:27:34 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

As many of you might remember, the DUmmie FUnnies blog began with coverage of the DUmmie reaction to the forged Texas Air National Guard Memos presented on a the CBS 60 Minutes II show hosted by Dan Rather. At the time of the exposure, Dan Rather insisted the memos were really authentic. Rather kept INSISTING on the authenticity of those obviously forged memos even when it was proven beyond a shadow of doubt that they were fake. After Dan Rather retired was fired from CBS News, he changed his tune a bit by saying that even though the memos might have been forgeries, the substance of the charge against Bush was still correct even though the only real documentary evidence were those fake memos. Now we have a new defense of Dan Rather in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Rather was prevented from going after smirk's N.G. paper's rigging." According to this latest HILARIOUS conspiracy theory promoted by the DUmmies, our hero Dan Rather really wants to prove that Karl Rove and the EVIL Republicans were behind the forgery of the Texas Air National Guard Memos, in a complex scheme to discredit See-BS News. This bizarre theory was published over at the Leftwing ONLINE JOURNAL. As usual, the crazed DUmmie rantings entertaining us with bizarre theories are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Dan Rather will trip over the killer of OJ's ex-wife out on the golf course while searching for who is behind the forgeries, is in the [brackets]:

Rather was prevented by CBS (subsidiary of Viacom) from going after the GOP operatives who doctored the documents

[Maybe Rather should put OJ on the case. While OJ is trying to find the killer of his ex-wife, he could also be keeping a lookout for the GOP operatives who doctored the TANG documents.]

Speaking at the National Press Club on September 26, Dan Rather responded to a question posed by moderator Marvin Kalb concerning the controversial TANG files of George W. Bush. Kalb asked Rather why he did not return to the story and investigate those who created the guard files, passed them off to a former TANG officer and hence to CBS's 60 Minutes, and tipped off right-wing bloggers before the airing of the pre-2004 election exposé by 60 Minutes. Rather responded, "You'll have to ask CBS that question."

[Yes, our intrepid reporter was hot on the trail of those NASTY Republican operatives who forged the TANG documents but CBS pulled him off the case. Somehow Dan Rather believes he has no free will. He somehow needs permission from CBS to do any investigations.]

Rather stated it was his desire to continue to delve into the story and the set-up. According to CBS insiders, the original TANG files were scanned by GOP dirty tricks operatives using a sophisticated text scanner that changed the original IBM typewriter Courier font to a Times Roman font, automatically created a "th" superscript for date numbers, and created margins and pagination. An independent panel commissioned by CBS and headed by former GOP Attorney General Richard Thornburgh never concluded the documents were bogus.

[What CBS insiders? Mary Mapes? Dan Rather? Tooth Fairy?]

In fact, the GOP operatives had to be very careful in their dirty tricks operation: forging or counterfeiting official government documents is a felony. However, scanning original documents technically does not fall under the category of counterfeiting. Nevertheless, the GOP quickly tipped off right-wing bloggers, including Free Republic.com, that the CBS documents were forgeries. In doing so, Karl Rove and his team successfully refocused attention away from Bush and his AWOL status in the Guard and on to Dan Rather and 60 Minutes. People like Karl Rove and, as reported by The New York Post, long time GOP dirty tricks operative Roger Stone, got away with the entire caper, thus eliminating Bush's phony military record as a campaign issue.

[Yes, the GOP used their secret decoder ring to send out a high priority message to Freeper Buckhead to make the forgery claim with a couple of hours after the broadcast. And don't forget that Friar Tuck was involved in this devious scheme as well.]

Rather reiterated his recent comments at Fordham University that a fear mentality has gripped news rooms across the nation. He partly blamed the government for instilling fear among America's journalists.

[It's such a shame. Journalists can no longer use forged documents in their news stories without FEAR of exposure. DAMN THOSE BLOGGERS!!!]

I think at this point the newsrooms are almost completely filled with Repubs, top to bottom. The purge of sensible journalists was begun 20 or so years ago, so that at this point nearly all reporters and editors are Bush/RW sympathizers, and the few who aren't fear for their jobs or worse on a daily basis - they know that one misstep will get them fired and blacklisted.

[Liberal Reporters were taken away in the middle of the night and replaced with Replicant Republicans. The Replicants look just like the original Liberal Reporters except they have a small green leafy growth on the backs of their necks.]

Y'know, I've gotten way past sick of hearing this How many newsrooms have YOU been in? I've worked in them for the better part of the last 20 years, and I can tell you that Republicans are definitely in the minority.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

So basically... either a major felony was committed or the documents were copies of originals. That calls for an investigation, definitely.

[Stand by for a new TV detective show: "Rather: PI"]

Last night at the News and Documentary Emmy awards, Dan Rather was given the Lifetime Acheivement Award and was warmly spoken of by all there, among them some of the biggest names in news. At least one person stated that they thought that the substance of what Rather had reported re * was true. I think they all know he was set up. But why nobody came to his defense and investigated the story seems to come down to being intimidated by the RW powers that be. Maybe now, as the Republican party crumbles and falls (and I am certain that it is) we will see the vindication of this fine journalist.

[So the forged papers that Rather claimed were authentic were forged but by the EVIL GOP? FUnnie but I remember the DUmmies vouching for their authenticity last year.]

There is NO evidence AT ALL the documents were forged--NONE.

[Make up your mind already! Let's see. According to DUmmie logic the documents were definitely NOT forged but if they were then it was all the fault of the EVIL GOP.]

Seems to me that if someone had access to an IBM selectric and access to a scanner with OCR software, they could at least demonstrate how it could be done.

[Calling Lucy Ramirez!!!]

What specifically is the fear? Job loss?

[No. Fear of a loss of invitations to the PC Georgetown cocktail parties.]

Dan Rather is not quitting. And he won't be forgetting Karl Rove anytime too soon.

[Payback is a bitch. WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY, KARL!!!]

Mapes was the senior producer for 60 Minutes assigned to this story. What she failed to do in this case was unbelievable: when wacky Lt.Col.Bill Burkett provided CBS with the name of the source for the Killian documents, Mapes didn't verify that information. If Mapes had simply taken the time to pick up the telephone and spoken to the person that Burkett had claimed was his source, CBS would have known right away that Burkett was not to be trusted. CBS didn't bother to call the alleged source until after they aired the story -- at which time, the source denied providing Burkett with his documents or knowing anything about them. A high school journalism student would know enough to check up on sources before going with a story.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

There were three other producers fired as well. Seems she wasn't the only one amateurish enough not to check on the source.

[WHEW! It's a relief to know that Mary Mapes wasn't the only biased incompetent at See-BS News. And now this excerpt from Mary Mapes new book, "Truth And Duty":]

It was another day of exhausted exultation. I got congratulatory e-mails, phone calls, and pats on the back. Other reporters called repeatedly as they worked to catch up to my story. I was thrilled.

All that changed about 11:00 a.m., when I first started hearing rumbles from some producers at CBS News that a handful of far right Web sites were saying that the documents had been forged.

I was incredulous. That couldn’t be possible. Even on the morning the story aired, when we showed the president’s people the memos, the White House hadn’t attempted to deny the truth of the documents. In fact, the president’s spokesman, Dan Bartlett, had claimed that the documents supported their version of events: that then-lieutenant Bush had asked for permission to leave the unit.

Within a few minutes, I was online visiting Web sites I had never heard of before: Free Republic, Little Green Footballs, Power Line. They were hard-core, politically angry, hyperconservative sites loaded with vitriol about Dan Rather and CBS. Our work was being compared to that of Jayson Blair, the discredited New York Times reporter who had fabricated and plagiarized stories.

All these Web sites had extensive write-ups on the documents: on typeface, font style, and peripheral spacing, material that seemed to spring up overnight. It was phenomenal. It had taken our analysts hours of careful work to make comparisons. It seemed that these analysts or commentators---or whatever they were---were coming up with long treatises in minutes. They were all linking to one another, creating an echo chamber of outraged agreement.

I was told that the first posting claiming the documents were fakes had gone up on Free Republic before our broadcast was even off the air! How had the Web site even gotten copies of the documents? We hadn’t put them online until later. That first entry, posted by a longtime Republican political activist lawyer who used the name “Buckhead,” set the tone for what was to come.

[Apparently the utter LACK of fact checking on the part of Mary Mapes extends even to her own book since Buckhead did not make his post on the Free Republic about the fake documents until a couple of hours AFTER the show aired. Thank you for your consistency, Miss Mapes. You are consistently WRONG due to your failure to fact check in all matters.]

Yikes..... I hope this isn't one of her main points....Because I thought it was established that Buckhead posted a couple of hours (still suspiscious as hell) after the EST showing and FR is based on PST.

[BINGO you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Why aren't any high level Democrats looking into this?

[Fear of humiliation?]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2004election; barkingmoonbats; brownshirtsforkerry; cbsnews; conspiracy; conspiracytheory; danrather; dummies; election2004; forgeddocuments; goebbelswouldbeproud; howtostealanelection; karlrove; leftwingfringe; marymapes; mediabias; rathergate; seebs; tang; tinfoil
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Now I've seen everything. Earlier in the computer room here the woman on the 'puter next to me was typing away while holding on to a screaming baby. I'm surprised she didn't breastfeed her kid while surfing the net. Now the woman with the screeching kid is gone and has been replaced by a boy who is hacking up his guts with LOUD coughing. Hope I don't catch anything.

A friend of mine will be building me a super duper computer before the end of the month but until then, these library computer rooms are VERY ANNOYING.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 10/03/2005 3:27:42 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


2 posted on 10/03/2005 3:30:04 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Dan RaTHer...LOL! I saw that yesterday. What a hoot!


3 posted on 10/03/2005 3:31:03 PM PDT by jess35
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To: PJ-Comix

Fore!


4 posted on 10/03/2005 3:31:36 PM PDT by decal (Mother Nature and Real Life are conservatives; the Progs have never figured this out.)
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To: PJ-Comix

5


5 posted on 10/03/2005 3:31:37 PM PDT by NeoCaveman (but no more kool aid)
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To: PJ-Comix

Nobody tipped off anyone. The FReepers were just too smart and too vigilant for the left wing partisan Democrat reporter *ssclown.


6 posted on 10/03/2005 3:33:18 PM PDT by doug from upland (Doug from Upland - FR troublemaker since 5/97)
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To: PJ-Comix

almost an early bird.


7 posted on 10/03/2005 3:36:07 PM PDT by 537cant be wrong (vampires stole my lunch money !)
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To: PJ-Comix

TopTen woohoo!


8 posted on 10/03/2005 3:40:28 PM PDT by MarineBrat (When it rains, New Orleans makes its own gravy.)
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To: PJ-Comix
"According to this latest HILARIOUS conspiracy theory promoted by the DUmmies, our hero Dan Rather really wants to prove that Karl Rove and the EVIL Republicans were behind the forgery of the Texas Air National Guard Memos, in a complex scheme to discredit See-BS News..."

Wow, good thing KR knew that ONLY SeeBS was stopid enough to go with this (was the NYT having their Christmas party early or something?).
9 posted on 10/03/2005 3:41:04 PM PDT by decal (Mother Nature and Real Life are conservatives; the Progs have never figured this out.)
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To: PJ-Comix

I hope you get your super computer pretty soon. The parade of weirdos through that library computer room is frightening! Maybe you should at least wear a dust mask to keep from getting some disease till the new computer is built! LOL!


10 posted on 10/03/2005 3:46:05 PM PDT by LUV W (Okay, I'm a Tony Snow-bot--so?)
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To: PJ-Comix

Don't you just love the way DUers hang on to their hurt feelings? How about them thinking most of the people working in newsrooms are Republicans? That cracks me up.


11 posted on 10/03/2005 3:49:27 PM PDT by Ditter
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To: PJ-Comix

10?11?12?


12 posted on 10/03/2005 3:50:40 PM PDT by ReeWalker ( I never have guilt EVER!!!)
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To: LUV W

Last week a woman and her boyfriend next to me were practically rutting on her computer chair. However, they did do a lot of tongue locking. Hey! Didn't they ever hear of a Motel Room?


13 posted on 10/03/2005 3:52:43 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
I was told that the first posting claiming the documents were fakes had gone up on Free Republic before our broadcast was even off the air! How had the Web site even gotten copies of the documents? We hadn’t put them online until later. That first entry, posted by a longtime Republican political activist lawyer who used the name “Buckhead,” set the tone for what was to come.

Gee Mary, perhaps Buckhead saw your memo on the screen and recognized right away that a superscript "th" was not available on a Selectric typewriter. After that is was easy to bring suspicion on the memo.

Mary, you ignorant slut.

14 posted on 10/03/2005 3:55:13 PM PDT by hattend (Rare Bear wins the Gold at Reno 2005)
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To: PJ-Comix

The computer room is free! Yark! Kind of distracting!....not to mention disgusting! Ick! I hope you use disinfecting wipes on those keys before you use them!


15 posted on 10/03/2005 3:56:35 PM PDT by LUV W (Okay, I'm a Tony Snow-bot--so?)
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To: PJ-Comix

As I said at the time, I could have constructed a more convincing fake from stuff laying around the file room at work. We had a period IBM Selectric, paper of the appropriate age, and a couple guys in the office who used to do staff stuff for the Military "back in the day."

A pitiful attempt at deceit, and it got the reception it deserved.

And even if "the substance" of the memos is true- who cares? The President has admitted himself that he used to drink to excess in those days. And the fighter he was trained on was obsolete. Given the circumstances, I would have been inclined to 'let him slide' until his enlistment was up, just to get rid of him.


16 posted on 10/03/2005 3:56:43 PM PDT by Ostlandr (Hey, Salada! I need a new Tagline!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Top 20?

I hate myself for this...

17 posted on 10/03/2005 3:57:09 PM PDT by aBootes
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To: PJ-Comix
It had taken our analysts hours of careful work to make comparisons

LOL....hard to beat a few hundred thousand people working simultaneously on computers with access to the world's knowledge just a click away.

Dat old paradigm done shifted again!

18 posted on 10/03/2005 3:57:24 PM PDT by eddie willers
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To: PJ-Comix

I think the DUmmies could get the answers they seek if they just got Ronnie Earle on the case. Course he's a little busy right now indicting ham sanwiches, but he could probably find time to squeeze in a Democrat grilled cheese sandwich.

Hillarious as usual, PJ.



19 posted on 10/03/2005 3:58:43 PM PDT by planekT (Don't shoot me, I'm only the piano player.)
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To: PJ-Comix
[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]


20 posted on 10/03/2005 4:00:45 PM PDT by LUV W (Okay, I'm a Tony Snow-bot--so?)
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