They do, but until I spilled the beans the press was unaware...
Posted on 11/04/2005 4:39:12 PM PST by pookie18
President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France's ass out of the fire again. Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers Mr. Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little pissants. "Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now", said Bush. Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 marines to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 marines may be overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even one marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few women marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.
President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our marines out of there as soon as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The least they stand out the better.
In an unrelated matter, President Bush told reporters that he was considering a "Flu for Oil" Program to ease our country's energy problem and prevent the upcoming pandemic. Nobody had a clue as to what the hell he was talking about.
Taking extra white flags??
Save airfare, send a Texas ranger.
Gawd this is funny!
There is a rumor that a Vichy Government is already being formed.
He nailed this one right. Never met a fellow Marine that liked France.
In a bullet proof Dodge truck!
Semper Fi!
Or, like a previous poster indicated:
One riot, one Ranger!
It only takes 5 US Marines to put down an insurrection that thousands of French police and soldiers cannot end.
How about Jerry Lewis and that Moore slob.
Maybe if they were sleeping......
recall the D-Day invasion, when we used small dummies setup as fake paratroopers to throw off the Germans?
I think we should drop some of those fake dummy paratroopers in these muslim areas in France. We must help our French friends.
LOL ping
Maybe he should save those 5 marines for the next time our INNER CITIES erupt
But it will be the standard let them loot and burn for 3 days then call out the guard
LOL! Don't you sometimes just wish that Bush and the General could actually say that. We all think it. Nice post pookie.
I say block the roads in and out of the next rioting area. Shut off ALL of the utilities and do not send in any emergency services personnel, equipment, food or water for about 3 days.
The good citizens in the zone who are prepared with food, water and ammunition will thin the herd quite nicely.
Feed a herd of swine a couple hundred pounds of salted prunes
then let them drink all the water they desire...
Suspend the pigs from hot air balloons ...
Release over the Paris projects...
ping
That would work in the states as well, take out the electricity and the rioting animals would eat each other.
As the French battle tank rolled up on the insurgents some kid threw a rock. The tank driver immediatly went through all five reverse gears. Hit the "fail safe button" which immediatly causes the tank cannon to fall off, and a white flag goes up next to the hatch.
Insurgents were last seen singing Kumbayah on the tank!ha!
That is a stellar idea. I'd like to see the video of that.
They tried that and the people rioted.
Why would we even consider helping the French...again...
Karma has come back to bite those ungrateful snobs square in the ass.
One riot requires one Texas Ranger.
They do, but until I spilled the beans the press was unaware...
Already Posted...
What was already posted?
Gotcha!
The article you posted!
Semi-sincerely,
Joe Biden
Never thought that I would be able to post a direct quote from NYT on a parody thread. Really, France should withdraw to the pre-'68 borders and grant these poor, misguided, and oppressed Algerians a right to return. I am going to break a personal rule (more like a guideline) and call Las Vegas and get book odds on when the Autonomy Commission grants how much control in which French cities.
Despite the few victories during WWI, many Americans are most familiar with Vichy France and the collaboration. It is kind of a "what have you done for me lately" mindset. French Indochina (VietNam), the withdrawal of a nuclear power from NATO, and most recently obstruction of the Afghanistan and Iraq initiatives; coupled with public derision of American citizens and policy have directly resulted in the ridicule and scorn that is heaped upon France. I have met a few decent Frenchmen whilst in Europe. And they all spoke perfect German, which curiously enough, they had learned from their mothers.
they're hoping the rioting spreads to the countryside so they can finally see if the Maginot was worth the money.
Or perhaps...food, wine and ammunitions. After all it is France, mom ami.
That is harsh. LOL
Pissant is highly pissed at the comparison.
Let's send Lorena Bobbitt and Tanya Harding - and maybe Ellen.
They are all meaner than the entire French ... er... Army? - Darn - it's hard to call them that without giggling.
LOL!!!!
(ping)
Will you be the Royal Air Force? I'll be your navigator if you promise not to make me airsick.
I make no promises.
I wanted to buy the Albanian MiG (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1513584/posts) and do low passes at Mach 1 over the Gaza Strip. (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1514781/posts?page=35#35).
Care to join me?
(There's beer!)
Damn straight. They only way I'd ever set foot in France is to defile it.
Semper Fi
But the Elan of France died in the trenches of WW1.
LOL
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.