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President Bush May Send Up To 5 Marines For French Assistance
Broken News ^ | 11/4/05 | Shelby Trial

Posted on 11/04/2005 4:39:12 PM PST by pookie18

President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France's ass out of the fire again. Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers Mr. Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little pissants. "Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now", said Bush. Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 marines to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 marines may be overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even one marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few women marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.

President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our marines out of there as soon as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The least they stand out the better.

In an unrelated matter, President Bush told reporters that he was considering a "Flu for Oil" Program to ease our country's energy problem and prevent the upcoming pandemic. Nobody had a clue as to what the hell he was talking about.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allies; france; marines

1 posted on 11/04/2005 4:39:12 PM PST by pookie18
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To: pookie18

Taking extra white flags??


2 posted on 11/04/2005 4:40:09 PM PST by xcamel (No more RINOS - Not Now, Not Ever Again.)
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To: pookie18

Save airfare, send a Texas ranger.


3 posted on 11/04/2005 4:44:57 PM PST by Random Access
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To: pookie18
OH my, now that is funny, lol.
4 posted on 11/04/2005 4:45:25 PM PST by angelsonmyside
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To: pookie18
President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our marines out of there as soon as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The least they stand out the better.

Gawd this is funny!

5 posted on 11/04/2005 4:48:38 PM PST by afnamvet
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To: pookie18

There is a rumor that a Vichy Government is already being formed.


6 posted on 11/04/2005 4:49:49 PM PST by sgtbono2002
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To: pookie18
He stated he was having a hard time finding even one marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time

He nailed this one right. Never met a fellow Marine that liked France.

7 posted on 11/04/2005 4:51:38 PM PST by Centurion2000 ((Aubrey, Tx) --- America, we get the best government corporations can buy.)
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To: Random Access

In a bullet proof Dodge truck!


8 posted on 11/04/2005 4:55:04 PM PST by rocksblues (I support the war on terror)
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To: pookie18

Semper Fi!

Or, like a previous poster indicated:
One riot, one Ranger!


9 posted on 11/04/2005 4:56:47 PM PST by NonLinear (He's dead, Jim)
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To: pookie18

It only takes 5 US Marines to put down an insurrection that thousands of French police and soldiers cannot end.


10 posted on 11/04/2005 4:58:04 PM PST by Brilliant
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To: pookie18

How about Jerry Lewis and that Moore slob.


11 posted on 11/04/2005 4:58:19 PM PST by CROSSHIGHWAYMAN
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To: pookie18
5 marines may be overkill

Maybe if they were sleeping......

12 posted on 11/04/2005 4:58:33 PM PST by Tom Bombadil
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To: pookie18

recall the D-Day invasion, when we used small dummies setup as fake paratroopers to throw off the Germans?

I think we should drop some of those fake dummy paratroopers in these muslim areas in France. We must help our French friends.


13 posted on 11/04/2005 5:00:07 PM PST by oceanview
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To: Dog; The Raven; W.

LOL ping


14 posted on 11/04/2005 5:00:10 PM PST by Iowa Granny
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To: pookie18

Maybe he should save those 5 marines for the next time our INNER CITIES erupt

But it will be the standard let them loot and burn for 3 days then call out the guard


15 posted on 11/04/2005 5:13:30 PM PST by uncbob
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To: pookie18

LOL! Don't you sometimes just wish that Bush and the General could actually say that. We all think it. Nice post pookie.


16 posted on 11/04/2005 5:16:31 PM PST by EmilyGeiger
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To: uncbob

I say block the roads in and out of the next rioting area. Shut off ALL of the utilities and do not send in any emergency services personnel, equipment, food or water for about 3 days.

The good citizens in the zone who are prepared with food, water and ammunition will thin the herd quite nicely.


17 posted on 11/04/2005 5:19:08 PM PST by 308MBR (The cornbread will be no better than the lard.)
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To: pookie18

Feed a herd of swine a couple hundred pounds of salted prunes
then let them drink all the water they desire...

Suspend the pigs from hot air balloons ...

Release over the Paris projects...


18 posted on 11/04/2005 5:20:56 PM PST by joesnuffy
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To: pookie18
Funny stuff. However, the French did stop the initial German offensive in World War 1. Along with some help from the BEF. It is interesting to note that the first ever Blitzkrieg style movement of troops was actually carried out by the French in Paris during WW1. The French used taxis to quickly move troops across Paris to help stop the German advance. Then eventually WW1 turned into a horrific trench warfare style of war. The Germans then perfected the Blitzkrieg attack and shocked the French into a quick surrender in WW2. The moral of this story ? Don't mess with French Taxi drivers.
19 posted on 11/04/2005 5:21:02 PM PST by justa-hairyape
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To: zip

ping


20 posted on 11/04/2005 5:21:15 PM PST by Mrs Zip
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To: 308MBR

That would work in the states as well, take out the electricity and the rioting animals would eat each other.


21 posted on 11/04/2005 5:24:25 PM PST by junta (It's Jihad stupid!)
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To: pookie18

As the French battle tank rolled up on the insurgents some kid threw a rock. The tank driver immediatly went through all five reverse gears. Hit the "fail safe button" which immediatly causes the tank cannon to fall off, and a white flag goes up next to the hatch.
Insurgents were last seen singing Kumbayah on the tank!ha!


22 posted on 11/04/2005 5:26:19 PM PST by lexington minuteman 1775
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To: joesnuffy

That is a stellar idea. I'd like to see the video of that.


23 posted on 11/04/2005 5:33:47 PM PST by I'm ALL Right! (WWW.ENDOFTHESPEAR.COM - A True Story. In theaters Jan 20, 2006. Click my profile.)
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To: 308MBR
Shut off ALL of the utilities and do not send in any emergency services personnel, equipment, food or water for about 3 days.

They tried that and the people rioted.

24 posted on 11/04/2005 5:38:56 PM PST by gotribe (Hillary: Accessory to Rape)
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To: lexington minuteman 1775

Why would we even consider helping the French...again...

Karma has come back to bite those ungrateful snobs square in the ass.


25 posted on 11/04/2005 5:39:58 PM PST by Mcirrus (Future Reference)
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To: Random Access
Exactly.

One riot requires one Texas Ranger.

26 posted on 11/04/2005 5:50:58 PM PST by NoControllingLegalAuthority
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To: EmilyGeiger
Don't you sometimes just wish that Bush and the General could actually say that.

They do, but until I spilled the beans the press was unaware...


27 posted on 11/04/2005 5:53:49 PM PST by pookie18 ((Hillary Rotten) Clinton Happens...as does Dr. Demento Dean, Bela Pelosi & Benedick Durbin!!)
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To: pookie18

Already Posted...


28 posted on 11/04/2005 6:00:28 PM PST by JDoutrider
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To: JDoutrider
Already Posted...

What was already posted?


29 posted on 11/04/2005 6:12:33 PM PST by pookie18 ((Hillary Rotten) Clinton Happens...as does Dr. Demento Dean, Bela Pelosi & Benedick Durbin!!)
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To: pookie18
"...Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now..."

Except that in World War I, the French happened to win at the cost of a generation of young brave men. More Frenchmen died in that war that in all the USA wars. In WWII not only did France surrender but Britain ran while we sat it out (for awhile). But they did put it on the line over Poland even if they watched the Czechs go. The folded the flag in Vietnam but so did somebody else two decades later.

To be funny, humor has to have some truth to it. This is just a junk post.
30 posted on 11/04/2005 6:20:31 PM PST by Monterrosa-24 (France kicked Germany's teeth out at Verdun among other places.)
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To: pookie18
LOL!

Gotcha!

The article you posted!

31 posted on 11/04/2005 6:23:09 PM PST by JDoutrider
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To: JDoutrider
Oh, you mean that Broken News did it first...well, it's not the first time I've plagiarized.

Semi-sincerely,

Joe Biden

32 posted on 11/04/2005 6:26:36 PM PST by pookie18 ((Hillary Rotten) Clinton Happens...as does Dr. Demento Dean, Bela Pelosi & Benedick Durbin!!)
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To: pookie18
A better answer would involve job opportunities, decent housing and good education for these new citizens.

Never thought that I would be able to post a direct quote from NYT on a parody thread. Really, France should withdraw to the pre-'68 borders and grant these poor, misguided, and oppressed Algerians a right to return. I am going to break a personal rule (more like a guideline) and call Las Vegas and get book odds on when the Autonomy Commission grants how much control in which French cities.

33 posted on 11/04/2005 6:29:15 PM PST by ARealMothersSonForever (Proud to be named as a member of the Radical Right Wing. Vast Right Wing got old.)
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To: Monterrosa-24
Aber Die Fransoische schone Deutsch gespracht taglich.

Despite the few victories during WWI, many Americans are most familiar with Vichy France and the collaboration. It is kind of a "what have you done for me lately" mindset. French Indochina (VietNam), the withdrawal of a nuclear power from NATO, and most recently obstruction of the Afghanistan and Iraq initiatives; coupled with public derision of American citizens and policy have directly resulted in the ridicule and scorn that is heaped upon France. I have met a few decent Frenchmen whilst in Europe. And they all spoke perfect German, which curiously enough, they had learned from their mothers.

34 posted on 11/04/2005 6:46:35 PM PST by ARealMothersSonForever (Proud to be named as a member of the Radical Right Wing. Vast Right Wing got old.)
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To: I'm ALL Right!

they're hoping the rioting spreads to the countryside so they can finally see if the Maginot was worth the money.


35 posted on 11/04/2005 7:19:19 PM PST by Rockiesrider
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To: 308MBR
The good citizens in the zone who are prepared with food, water and ammunition will thin the herd quite nicely.

Or perhaps...food, wine and ammunitions. After all it is France, mom ami.

36 posted on 11/04/2005 7:26:24 PM PST by Churchillspirit (Anaheim Angels - 2002 World Series Champions)
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To: ARealMothersSonForever
I have met a few decent Frenchmen whilst in Europe. And they all spoke perfect German, which curiously enough, they had learned from their mothers.

That is harsh. LOL

37 posted on 11/04/2005 7:39:15 PM PST by ladyjane
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To: pookie18; pissant; Dashing Dasher; Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Mr. Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little pissants.

Pissant is highly pissed at the comparison.

38 posted on 11/04/2005 7:51:58 PM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: pookie18; Larry Lucido; pissant
Why so many?

Let's send Lorena Bobbitt and Tanya Harding - and maybe Ellen.

They are all meaner than the entire French ... er... Army? - Darn - it's hard to call them that without giggling.

39 posted on 11/04/2005 9:46:42 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Truth is generally the best vindication against slander --- Abe Lincoln)
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To: ARealMothersSonForever; patton

LOL!!!!


(ping)


40 posted on 11/04/2005 9:48:06 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Truth is generally the best vindication against slander --- Abe Lincoln)
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To: Dashing Dasher

Will you be the Royal Air Force? I'll be your navigator if you promise not to make me airsick.


41 posted on 11/04/2005 9:50:59 PM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Larry Lucido

I make no promises.

I wanted to buy the Albanian MiG (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1513584/posts) and do low passes at Mach 1 over the Gaza Strip. (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1514781/posts?page=35#35).

Care to join me?



(There's beer!)


42 posted on 11/04/2005 10:01:58 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Truth is generally the best vindication against slander --- Abe Lincoln)
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To: Centurion2000
He nailed this one right. Never met a fellow Marine that liked France.

Damn straight. They only way I'd ever set foot in France is to defile it.

Semper Fi

43 posted on 11/05/2005 12:56:25 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: justa-hairyape

But the Elan of France died in the trenches of WW1.


44 posted on 11/05/2005 12:57:18 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: Dashing Dasher

LOL


45 posted on 11/05/2005 5:59:00 AM PST by patton ("Hard Drive Cemetary" - forthcoming best seller)
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