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Semi-News: Details of American "Torture" at Gitmo
azconservative ^ | 16 March 2006 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/23/2006 9:53:19 AM PST by John Semmens

TIME magazine reports on the arduous conditions faced by terrorist detainees at Gitmo Camp at Guantanamo Bay. It is a remarkable look into the prison life of Mohammed al Qahtani, who is widely believed to be the so-called 20th hijacker, a compatriot of Osama bin Laden and a man who had tried to enter the U.S. in August 2001 to take part in the Sept. 11 attacks.

“The conditions are unbearable,” said Qahtani. “I am interrogated for several hours each month. Sometimes I am forced to miss my TV shows.” Qahtani is reputedly fond of the Cartoon Network’s programming.

Creature comforts are also an issue. “The toilet paper is too scratchy,” said Qahtani. “They need to get the kind with the little pillows in the weave. And the off-brand condiments they’ve been serving us are no match for Heinz’s products.”

Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) said the report is no surprise to him. “The substandard amenities of off-brand condiments border on war crimes,” said Kerry. “There is no excuse for this. My wife’s company stands ready to provide Heinz products at the right price.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: gitmo; guantanamo; heinz; kerry; satire; torture

1 posted on 03/23/2006 9:53:22 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

"Details of American Torture at Gitmo"


2 posted on 03/23/2006 10:03:12 AM PST by jdm
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To: John Semmens; Dashing Dasher

“The toilet paper is too scratchy,” said Qahtani

He's right. It was scratchy.

Sheesh, I missed many of my favorite TV shows too.....mainly it's because they don't show them anymore, but life was hell.


3 posted on 03/23/2006 10:13:20 PM PST by Redleg1963
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To: Redleg1963

My coffee was decaf this morning instead of regular.

Who do I talk to about the "Torture"?


4 posted on 03/24/2006 6:34:22 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Aspire, break bounds. Endeavor to be good, and better still, best. - Robert Browning)
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To: Redleg1963
Let's review....


5 posted on 03/24/2006 6:40:01 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Aspire, break bounds. Endeavor to be good, and better still, best. - Robert Browning)
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To: Dashing Dasher

I believe the American Bar Association is compiling complaints for a class action suit against America.


6 posted on 03/24/2006 7:21:28 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: Dashing Dasher

I don't think you can complain about decaf/non-decaf.

Now if it was too hot, then you have a solid case.


7 posted on 03/24/2006 8:03:39 AM PST by Redleg1963
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