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It Depends on the Definition of "Need" (Are men attracted to needy women?)
Yahoo discussion group ^ | 6-30-06 | Dear Margo Column

Posted on 07/04/2006 7:39:31 AM PDT by Enterprise

"?DEAR MARGO: I am a 38-year-old successful female who is emotionally and financially secure. I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent"

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...


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KEYWORDS: cluless; dearmargo; ditz; genderwars; girlshavingfun; hookers; iwantababy; iwantahusband; iwantaman; jamaica; kerryvoter; kerryvoters; margo; needymen; needywoman; ohpoorpitifulme; poorpoorme; rentadred; singlewoman; theusualsuspects; theylikebrowniestoo; waaaaaaa
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DEAR MARGO: I am a 38-year-old successful female who is emotionally and financially secure. I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent.

In the past, I just thought that these men were needy. However, I was having a group discussion in mixed company where a man said it seems like women don't need men anymore.

I feel as though women were forced to become independent and support themselves. Now, men seem to be threatened by our success. Do I need to act like I "need" men to find my soulmate? I abhor needy females, yet I do want to share my life with someone with the ultimate goal of getting married and perhaps having children.

What is ironic is that I would walk away from my career for the right man and situation. In many ways, I feel like I would rather be alone than have to acquiesce to a man's ego. -- MS. INDEPENDENT

DEAR MS.: As to your question of whether women need men, some do . . . some don't. I will tell you this: You, me and countless other women have been considered "intimidating," but only to a certain kind of man.

As for putting on the persona of someone who "needs" a man, don't try to act the part of a submissive, subordinate cupcake; it is too hard, and you would become disgusted with yourself.

Believe it or not, there are many men who cannot function with a clinging vine. Trust me, there are men out there whose personalities are complementary to yours. -- Margo, autonomously

1 posted on 07/04/2006 7:39:37 AM PDT by Enterprise
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To: Enterprise

Dear phony letter writer and phony letter answer babe - you both need to stay out of the gene pool. Thank you - the management.


2 posted on 07/04/2006 7:40:37 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: Enterprise

Maybe she is a -itch.


3 posted on 07/04/2006 7:41:09 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Taglines for sale or rent. Good "one liners", 50 cents.)
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To: Enterprise

If she is anything like any of those women on the ABC show last night, she's going to stay single forever.


4 posted on 07/04/2006 7:42:07 AM PDT by Perdogg
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To: stephenjohnbanker

Maybe she's fugly.


5 posted on 07/04/2006 7:42:55 AM PDT by gate2wire
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To: Enterprise

Another "position paper" from DNC Headquarters?


6 posted on 07/04/2006 7:43:12 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative
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To: stephenjohnbanker
"Now, men seem to be threatened by our success."

I read this line and thought that this is a phony letter. But then, you might be right.

7 posted on 07/04/2006 7:43:36 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: Enterprise
What is ironic is that I would walk away from my career for the right man and situation. In many ways, I feel like I would rather be alone than have to acquiesce to a man's ego.

Doesn't she contradict herself in these lines? She's thirty-eight and wants to get married and have a family? Better get moving on that!

8 posted on 07/04/2006 7:43:42 AM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: Enterprise
In many ways, I feel like I would rather be alone than have to acquiesce to a man's ego.

And therein lies her problem. Marriage isn't supposed to be a competition between two egos - if she sees it that way it's no wonder men avoid marrying her. I suspect the men in her life know her by a certain 5-letter word.

9 posted on 07/04/2006 7:43:54 AM PDT by NittanyLion
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To: Enterprise
I am going to get in soooooooooo much trouble for this:

EVERY woman on earth is psychotic, it is just a matter of extent. If you can find one whose psychosis is tolerable then more power to you.

10 posted on 07/04/2006 7:44:24 AM PDT by nonliberal (Graduate: Curtis E. LeMay School of International Relations)
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To: Enterprise

Not for very long.


11 posted on 07/04/2006 7:45:57 AM PDT by cripplecreek (I'm trying to think but nothing happens)
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To: Enterprise
That's Margo, Maureen Dowd's much younger sister.
12 posted on 07/04/2006 7:46:53 AM PDT by Doctor Raoul (New York Times? Get a rope!)
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To: Rummyfan
It is an extraordinarily clownish statement. She doesn't want to be under some man's thumb, but for the right man she would walk away from her career. But if she did that, it would be acquiescing to the needs of a man.
13 posted on 07/04/2006 7:47:22 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: Enterprise
Believe it or not, there are many men who cannot function with a clinging vine.

I went through a Venus Flytrap phase in my youth.

14 posted on 07/04/2006 7:47:41 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: NittanyLion
I suspect the men in her life know her by a certain 5-letter word.

I can name that tune in four letters...

15 posted on 07/04/2006 7:47:50 AM PDT by Doctor Raoul (New York Times? Get a rope!)
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To: stephenjohnbanker
I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent.

For a 38-yo never-married woman, "independent" most likely means

"I always want things my own way, I'm unwilling to think about what my potential partner would like, and can't stop myself from cutting guys off at the knees if they ever give an indication that perhaps I might occasionally think about what somebody else wants"

16 posted on 07/04/2006 7:48:44 AM PDT by SauronOfMordor (A planned society is most appealing to those with the arrogance to think they will be the planners)
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To: Enterprise
I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent.

It's a good guess that anybody who feels compelled to write this tripe in some lame attempt to inflate their own ego is probably a total loser pig.

That said, how about some pics?

17 posted on 07/04/2006 7:49:33 AM PDT by Recovering Hermit (Apparently, most who protest for peace do so at the expense of hygiene.)
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To: nonliberal
My snarky observation is that women and German Shepards are alike.

Sooner or later they turn on you.

Just kiddding...

18 posted on 07/04/2006 7:49:42 AM PDT by Doctor Raoul (New York Times? Get a rope!)
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To: Enterprise

She's correct though. There are men out there who are intimidated by successful women and will avoid her. Too much work, maybe she will have standards that they cannot meet, she's not going to fall for their lines, maybe they are not successful enough in their own lives. A smart guy will know when a woman is out of his league.

Then again, also consider that some men cannot function in a relationship with a woman because they simply need to dominate and need a submissive female to stroke their egos all the time. Seen plenty of those morons along the way as well.


19 posted on 07/04/2006 7:50:26 AM PDT by misterrob
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To: Enterprise
This is a "Needy" woman:

She "Needs" ME!

20 posted on 07/04/2006 7:51:04 AM PDT by freedumb2003 (Let them die of thirst in the dark.)
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To: Enterprise

Any man who's been married once and in the market for a second wife is probably looking for someone who can change a fuse or balance a checkbook. Believe me. Being able to drive a stick shift or plumb a utility sink would just be lagniappe. Being completely indifferent to his sister's wardrobe or his mother's opinions is more than could be hoped for.


21 posted on 07/04/2006 7:51:53 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (NYT Headline: 'Protocols of the Learned Elders of CBS: Fake But Accurate, Experts Say.')
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To: Enterprise

OUR success? Is this a sisterhood thang? Stay single lady. You want to rum a man's nose in your success. Stock up on Stauffers!


22 posted on 07/04/2006 7:52:13 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Taglines for sale or rent. Good "one liners", 50 cents.)
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To: freedumb2003

You think she can balance a checkbook? I do! (See my #21).


23 posted on 07/04/2006 7:53:14 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (NYT Headline: 'Protocols of the Learned Elders of CBS: Fake But Accurate, Experts Say.')
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To: nonliberal
EVERY woman on earth is psychotic, it is just a matter of extent.

It's the ones of us who are calculatingly psychotic that you'd better watch out for.

Heh heh heh

24 posted on 07/04/2006 7:54:39 AM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Whatever happened to Cynthia McKinney?)
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To: freedumb2003

Better hurry. I know where she lives!


25 posted on 07/04/2006 7:56:21 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Taglines for sale or rent. Good "one liners", 50 cents.)
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To: NittanyLion

Unfortunately, this woman is one of those who has been taught that housewife/mother=slave. Were she to become a mother, her liberal "sisters" would rail on about how she "sold out" to the male dominated patriarchy.

As a side note, this kind of attitude diminishes the importance of motherhood.

The attitude of liberal woman toward someone who'd choose family over career is much like those of Blacks who tell a successful Black that he has "sold out his race."

I wish someone would tell this woman that she is looking at it from the wrong point of view. She needs to be told that were she to give up her job for marriage and children, she would be taking on a second career. A career that is without a doubt one of the toughest to succeed at.


26 posted on 07/04/2006 8:03:26 AM PDT by stylin_geek (Liberalism: comparable to a chicken with its head cut off, but with more spastic motions)
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To: Enterprise
...it seems like women don't need men anymore. ...

And men don't need women anymore.

In my opinion, that's why the divorce rate is so high.

In the old days, women needed men to build the house, plow the field, plant the crops, chop firewood, hunt and trap, etc.

And men needed women to cook, make candles, sew clothes, raise the kids.

Basically, this was division of labor. Each one needed the other to survive.

Now, men don't need women to cook, we have Burger King and microwaves. Men don't need women for their clothes, we have Wal-Mart.

Conversely, women don't need men for housing, they can rent apartments or buy their own. They don't need men for food gathering, they can go to the grocery store.

27 posted on 07/04/2006 8:03:26 AM PDT by FReepaholic (Why aren't lawyers ever accused of price gouging?)
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To: Enterprise
who is emotionally and financially secure. I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men

Right there you know she's a nut who needs attention anywhere she can get it.

28 posted on 07/04/2006 8:10:12 AM PDT by fml
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To: stephenjohnbanker

That's a nice poem in your "about" page. About that woman, think she lives in Boston?


29 posted on 07/04/2006 8:11:11 AM PDT by Ken522
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To: misterrob
A smart guy will know when a woman is out of his league.

Not so much out of his league as outside his price range

In any relationship, there are certain things the man wants out of the relationship, and certain things the woman wants. Where the value of the benefits she provides exceeds her perceived "cost" (in effort, time, putting up with quirks, financial support), then a man will be interested. If the value to her of HIS benefits exceed HER perceived costs, then a relationship is workable

For many guys, having somebody who is cheerful, affectionate, and fun to be with is more "valuable" than having somebody who brings home a big paycheck of her own

30 posted on 07/04/2006 8:11:49 AM PDT by SauronOfMordor (A planned society is most appealing to those with the arrogance to think they will be the planners)
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To: Enterprise
DEAR MARGO:
I am a 38-year-old successful employed female, who - according to my psychoanalyst is emotionally secure. I'm also financially secure - thanks to grannies $2,000,000 inheritance. I have been told by my mother that I am very attractive and but since I wear nothing but leather, spikes and chains, I apparently intimidate normal men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent my psychiatrist says I'm a potential serial killer.

DEAR MS. INDEPENDENT:
The Marques De Sade is dead so your prospects of marriage appear dim. And please have someone remove all sharp objects from your house ASAP.


31 posted on 07/04/2006 8:12:31 AM PDT by Condor51 (Better to fight for something than live for nothing - Gen. George S. Patton)
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To: freedumb2003

She needs clothes that fit. ;)


32 posted on 07/04/2006 8:13:46 AM PDT by linda_22003
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To: Recovering Hermit
Well, ok. Just a few pics though.


33 posted on 07/04/2006 8:14:30 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: Perdogg

What do you want to bet she's a Kerry voter?


34 posted on 07/04/2006 8:19:30 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: Ken522

"" think she lives in Boston?""

ROTF! I grew up in Newton Mass, and my guess would be YES!


35 posted on 07/04/2006 8:25:19 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Taglines for sale or rent. Good "one liners", 50 cents.)
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To: Enterprise

2 more!


36 posted on 07/04/2006 8:26:21 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Taglines for sale or rent. Good "one liners", 50 cents.)
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To: Enterprise

Bank on it.


37 posted on 07/04/2006 8:26:53 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Taglines for sale or rent. Good "one liners", 50 cents.)
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To: Gay State Conservative
"I am a 38-year-old successful female who is emotionally and financially secure. I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent"

Here's the translation:

"Dear Margo: I'm a 38-year-old successful dumbass. I listened when they told me I could have it all. I believed it when they told me I was just as good as any man. So I went to school. I worked hard. I'm successful, I'm smart, I'm pretty. But &%%&*(%*(^(*& it to hell, I want a man, I want a baby, I want a house in the country, I want an SUV, and I want it all NOW! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

38 posted on 07/04/2006 8:27:01 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: Enterprise

Hey, you must be psychic!


39 posted on 07/04/2006 8:32:54 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Taglines for sale or rent. Good "one liners", 50 cents.)
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To: stephenjohnbanker
Dang, you're so demanding!


40 posted on 07/04/2006 8:34:22 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: stephenjohnbanker

I knew you were going to say that!


41 posted on 07/04/2006 8:35:20 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: NittanyLion
"I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men."

Translation: "No way in hell am I going to let any man tell me what to do. But other than that, why doesn't anyone ask me out?"

42 posted on 07/04/2006 8:38:11 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: nonliberal
I don't think it's psychosis; I think it's the way they store and retrieve information.

You can say a thing to a woman that has several interpretations, and she will take the meanest one in reference to herself. She will store the feeling in her memory, not what was said.

At a later time, when something similar thing comes up, she will recall the memory of the stored feeling and remind you of what you said before, what you said being what you must have said that would make her feel that way.

43 posted on 07/04/2006 8:38:23 AM PDT by William Terrell (Individuals can exist without government but government can't exist without individuals.)
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To: Enterprise

Or...............

Hi, I am an attractive left winger, with an MBA from Harvard. I am 38, and make 225,000 a year. Hey buddy, top that! Anyway, I would like to get married, but all I run into are emasculated men who are intimidated by my success. Maybe I should date a conservative, but my friends would ride me if I did that. But I really would toss this all away for the right man, but I never seem to click with the ones I like. I mean, men sense my power, but I deny them my essence.


44 posted on 07/04/2006 8:38:32 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Taglines for sale or rent. Good "one liners", 50 cents.)
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To: Enterprise

And the gals just keep getting better and better!!


45 posted on 07/04/2006 8:39:19 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (Taglines for sale or rent. Good "one liners", 50 cents.)
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To: nonliberal
"EVERY woman on earth is psychotic"

Well, that's just the craziest thing I ever heard. :)

46 posted on 07/04/2006 8:39:42 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: Enterprise
My thoughts exactly.

Myself... I prefer one-legged women. Not because I'm kinky... but only because they are slower moving than the rest of the herd.

47 posted on 07/04/2006 8:40:28 AM PDT by johnny7 (“And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda... what's Fonzie like?!”)
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To: SauronOfMordor

Women generally do not date "down" in social status so a smart guy will realize that. She might decide to have a fling with the rough guy driving the truck or motorcycle but likely it is a passing thing. In the end she will stay within her circles or aspire to higher status.


48 posted on 07/04/2006 8:40:51 AM PDT by misterrob
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To: Doctor Raoul

G'mornin Doc. I'm sure the columnist is real, it's just that I think the letter is phony, and Margo is answering a phony letter - thus: a phony letter writer and phony letter answering babe.


49 posted on 07/04/2006 8:42:17 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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To: Tijeras_Slim
Did she look like this Venus?


50 posted on 07/04/2006 8:45:56 AM PDT by Enterprise (Let's not enforce laws that are already on the books, let's just write new laws we won't enforce.)
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