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DUmmie FUnnies 09-15-06 ("Kerry: I'm prepared to kick Swift Boat's ass")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 15, 2006 | John Kerry, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/15/2006 5:54:30 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

When faced with the Swift Boat Vets commercials during his 2004 campaign, John Kerry basically assumed the fetal position and just hoped they would go away. Instead, that series of commercials turned out to be perhaps the most effective ads in political history. Kerry's strong lead early in August of that year quickly dissipated as a result of those commercials. However, Kerry how has had a change of heart. Now he is ANGRY and as indicated by this DUmmie THREAD, "Kerry: I'm prepared to kick Swift Boat's ass." Unfortunately for Kerry, even most of the DUmmies aren't buying into Kerry's false bravado. As even they have noticed, Kerry was MIA when it came to answering the Swift Boat Vets For Truth charges a couple of years ago. And now he wants a SECOND chance in which he promises to be aggressive? Sorry, Kerry. You had your chance and you blew it. However, it is amusing to watch both Kerry's and the DUmmie rage at the Swift Boat Vets in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whose memory of those commercials has been seared, SEARED into his mind, is in the [brackets]:

Kerry: I'm prepared to kick Swift Boat's ass

[Kerry: I'm prepared to sign my Form 180...but not send it in.]

Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) doesn't believe that Hillary Clinton has the inside track on the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination and says he would vigorously defend himself against new attacks by the Swift Boat team, according to an interview with The Examiner.

[Hillary's nomination has already been arranged by Karl Rove, Kerry. Live with it.]

"I’m prepared to kick their ass from one end of America to the other," said Kerry, in a strong hint that he intends to run for president once again.

[Kerry is preparing to attack them with a whiffle ball.]

In response to wide talk of Sen. Clinton (D-NY) being the favorite for the Democrats in 2008, Kerry says, "I don’t buy it. ... I don’t care what the dominant, conventional wisdom is today; it will not be the dominant, conventional wisdom in a year."

[When Kerry finally realizes that the 2008 nomination WON'T be his, the implosion will be incredible to behold.]

RAWSTORY

I like his attitude. I hope he backs it up with action.

[You mean like that thumb stuck in his mouth action of 2004 when the Swift Boat Vets confronted him in the commercials?]

where the hell was he when he ran last time and won??? He walked away and let bush have the presidency.I was sick and depressed for months.I campaigned for him and John Edwards and when he walked away with out a fight I was devastated!!!!!

[Have a hit from Susan Estrich's 2004 champagne victory bottle.]

Exactly. Should we believe him, this time around?

[Lucy requests that you kick her football just one more time.]

I gave more money thn all my previous donations together, campaigned for him in 2 states.It was his to lose and he lost it. We can blame other people but if he had put up a good fight he would have won. Not Him! Not Hilary! Someone without baggage that wants to put up a fight (Clark? Feingold?)

[(Kucinich? Sharpton?)]

How I wish he'd been prepared to kick "Swiftboat" ass in 2004.... How different life now might be. Go Clark, Edwards, Warner, Richardson, Gore, and anyone else who might chose to run and the FIGHT when they are F*CKED. Too bad John learned his lesson a few years too late.

[FIGHT when they are F*CKED? Great upbeat campaign slogan there.]

Trust me on this, you're not wrong.....Kerry won't get a second chance to f*ck up. Democrats want to win and he really doesn't have what it takes. I think John Kerry makes a pretty decent senator from Massachusetts (other than his pro-war votes) but thats pretty much stretching his limits to the max. He's not presidential material. He let bottom feeding scum suckers (ie the "swiftboaters") derail him in 2004 with little or no protest. Then he let Ohio be stolen with no protest. This is not the person I want representing my party in 2008. It's time to fight back and Kerry apparently doesn't know how.

[Oh pretty please! Give me a second chance to mess up again!]

He folded quicker than Superman on laundry day. It boggles the mind people still support him and want him to run again. What the proverb about doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome?

[Dan Rather could probably come up with a fake folksy Texas proverb. He will fax it to you from a Kinko's complete with proportional spacing and superscript.]

I'm pretty certain it was Albert Einstein.... "Insanity: the belief that one can get different results by doing the same thing."

[Like kicking Lucy's football over and over and over again.]

JOHN KERRY IS A SHILL. Kerry's job was to lose the election. That's why he never defended himself against the bullshit Swiftboat rubbish. That's why he conceded election night. That's why he never fought to ensure there was a clean vote. Bush is Skull and Bones. Kerry is Skull and Bones. Research the group. That is their one and only loyalty. Not to any party or, heaven forbid, the people of the United States.

[Kerry was Karl Rove's sleeper agent. When shown the Red Queen, he folded up and went into the fetal position.]

What I find frustrating is that the conspiracy theorists who propose wacky theories like this do a lot of damage to legitimate causes, like voting fraud.

[Or maybe they think your wacky election fraud conspiracy theory is harming their legitimate cause, like the Skull & Bones theory.]

So what do you make of his concession on election night? I mean, if he genuinely wanted a fair count, why give up at the start?

[Because that way he could get back to the Davos ski slopes that much quicker.]

He didn't concede on election night! It the following day, and the facts about his actions thereafter are posted.

[True. Kerry wanted to get a good night's sleep so he could be nice and fresh when he conceded.]

Poor John. He brings to mind the good ol school daze... going home after being picked on and thinking up the perfect come-back a day or 2 later.

[In John's case, a year or 2 later.]

Sorry, but John Kerry has been tagged as a Flip-Flopper and I think rightly so. It's a little too late to fire back at the Swift Boaters now.

[John Kerry flipped before he flopped.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2008election; antiveteran; asskicking; brownshirtsforkerry; dummies; election2008; howtostealanelection; johnkerry; kerry2008; swiftboats
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As I noted in the previous DUFU thread, I had a very VIVID dream the other night in which I actually saw and read the DUmmie FUnnies book. It was much different than what I originally envisioned. My initial idea was to just reprint selected quotes from the DUFUs. In my dream I saw what should be done---to use the DUFUs as a humorous segue to comment on the angst of the Left. The chapters I saw (and remember) were very specific. They were chapters about certain people such as Pied Piper Pitt, Ben Burch, Bev Harris, etc. and subjects such as the bizarre mysticism of the "scientic" left with their belief in alternate realities, faux Hopi witch doctors, and astrology. Oh, and over course there are the meds. Best of all is that in my dream I popped the CD-ROM insert into the computer and saw in vivid color some hilarious animated cartoons including Li'l Beaver dancing with Marilyn Monroe as she sings "Tropical Heat Wave."

Okay, bottom line is that I am ACHING to get the DUFU book published. I am open to any suggestion from anybody. I am willing to do whatever it takes to get the book (with CD-ROM insert) published. This sounds extreme but I would even be willing to undergo carnal relations with Playboy Playmate, Petra Verkaik, if that is what it takes to get the book published.

Regnery turned me down but I believe they should give it a second look. The DUmmie FUnnies has the BIGGEST PING List on the FR and the blog itself is gaining in notoriety.

All I know is that a hell of lot of LESS deserving authors get published. (How much money was wasted on that Mary Mapes book?) I remember I almost pulled an Elvis on my TV set last year when I saw that the Runaway Bride almost got herself a big bucks book deal. (Fortunately she didn't but it drove me NUTS when it looked like she would).

Okay. Enought with the rant. All I'll say is that the blueprint for the DUFU book has been laid out for me by my subconscious in the form of a very vivid dream and I am READY. REAAAAAADY for a book deal. Are you listening Regnery?

(Calm down, PJ. Calm down.)

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List, the BIGGEST PING List on the FR...So WHAT does that tell you, Regnery. GIMMMMEEEEE a book deal...NOW!!!

(Calm down, PJ. Calm down.)

Oh, and one last thing. Did I mention that I could have PROFESSIONAL cartoonists to do animated features for my CD-ROM insert? What's the deal with books? Why don't they take full advantage of the new technologies? HEY REGNERY! I can deliver to you a BEST SELLER!!!!!!

(Calm down, PJ. Calm down.)

1 posted on 09/15/2006 5:54:32 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix

TOO!


2 posted on 09/15/2006 5:56:41 PM PDT by decal (See gas prices drop! See Dems howl! Howl, Dems, howl! Howl,howl,howl!)
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To: PJ-Comix

top 10


3 posted on 09/15/2006 5:56:54 PM PDT by txroadkill
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...
PING!

915 PINGS to be exact. BIGGEST PING list on the FR. Are you paying attention, Regnery? GIMMMMMEEEEE THE BOOK DEAL!!! (Calm down, PJ. Calm down.)

4 posted on 09/15/2006 5:57:56 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: decal

Top 10 - maybe


5 posted on 09/15/2006 6:00:47 PM PDT by ErnBatavia (Meep Meep)
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To: PJ-Comix

Great Stuff PJ....thanks!!!


6 posted on 09/15/2006 6:02:26 PM PDT by Loud Mime (An undefeated enemy is still an enemy.......war has a purpose.)
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To: PJ-Comix

7 posted on 09/15/2006 6:02:28 PM PDT by ErnBatavia (Meep Meep)
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To: PJ-Comix

pingers


8 posted on 09/15/2006 6:02:32 PM PDT by SC Swamp Fox (Join our Folding@Home team (Team# 36120) keyword: folding)
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To: PJ-Comix
Publish the damn thing already....


9 posted on 09/15/2006 6:02:45 PM PDT by darkwing104 (Let's get dangerous)
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To: PJ-Comix

top 10? ijatp?


10 posted on 09/15/2006 6:02:56 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (The state board will meet in closed session to discuss whether it violated an open meetings law)
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To: PJ-Comix

11 posted on 09/15/2006 6:03:25 PM PDT by mylife (the roar of the masses could be farts)
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To: ErnBatavia

Top 10 - Definitely. :D


12 posted on 09/15/2006 6:03:37 PM PDT by perfect_rovian_storm (All your Diebolds are belong to us)
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To: perfect_rovian_storm

Well, top business 10. :D


13 posted on 09/15/2006 6:04:10 PM PDT by perfect_rovian_storm (All your Diebolds are belong to us)
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To: darkwing104

DUAC! DUAC! was part of the animated cartoons that I saw in my dream.


14 posted on 09/15/2006 6:05:12 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

I love confronting the Democrats with the question:

"You expect to win the presidency with Gore or Kerry? Come on, that's the best you got? Even an idiot would vote for Bush over those two losers. You deserved what you got, admit it!"


15 posted on 09/15/2006 6:05:50 PM PDT by Loud Mime (An undefeated enemy is still an enemy.......war has a purpose.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I think we may have a copyright issue using this duck...


16 posted on 09/15/2006 6:07:14 PM PDT by darkwing104 (Let's get dangerous)
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To: PJ-Comix

PJ - try PublishAmerica. I've had two books published by them and have been pleased with how they turned out. No money outta your pocket either. FReepmail me if you want more info.


17 posted on 09/15/2006 6:08:42 PM PDT by Chickenhawk Warmonger (All aboard the Chickenhawk Express... www.chickenhawkexpress.blogspot.com)
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To: darkwing104
The DUck would be used. I have my own stock of characters in mind with Li'l Beaver at the forefront. My vision of what would be on the CD-ROM (as seen in the dream) would be in the realm of the surreal. And I already have two cartoonists lined up for this project. One of them is Bob Lizarraga. An example of his art is below. Now wouldn't this sort of stuff be GREAT in animation?


18 posted on 09/15/2006 6:11:10 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Shootin' for 20


19 posted on 09/15/2006 6:12:50 PM PDT by kanawa
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To: Chickenhawk Warmonger
But with Publish America, could I have CD-ROM inserts? Plus I need a money advance to pay the cartoonists. They don't come cheap. Oh, and another example of Lizarraga's art when we collaborated as you can see below from the G-Man Comix story. Hey Regnery! It's not just a book. It's ART!!!


20 posted on 09/15/2006 6:14:22 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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