Skip to comments.GOP (Gay Old Party?) - SATIRE ALERT
Posted on 10/05/2006 8:32:23 AM PDT by Digital Disaster
October 5, 2006
Oh man, the Republicans have caught fire and are spiraling to earth in a cloud of smoke and desperation. Good. Congressman Mark Foley, honorable pervert representing the great state of horniness, was caught sending nasty instant messages to a minor male page. It seems that this member of the Moral Majority was actually a flaming homo, hell-bent on perverted hot monkey sex with as many males as possible, especially young ones. Disgusting. It's hard to believe this party keeps trying to quash gay marriage when they're all gay themselves. What sense does this make?
I'm starting to think all Republicans are masochists. Every time one of these bozos gets drunk or exposed as gay, they're shamed into the next century, but when a liberal does the same thing, it's good for certain re-election and major street cred with their voting bloc. Why would any politician want to be labeled as a conservative? Do you really want to go through your life without having illicit sex with young girls and boys, not getting drunk and/or stoned, lying about your war record, or drowning people in your car? Of course not. At least pick a party that will reward you for your behavior.
Anyway, this cataclysmic news event apparently triggered an outpouring of repressed memories from my new assistant, Squid. Amid uncontrollable sobbing about feeling "used and dirty," he produced some transcripts he had just typed of an instant message chat he had several years ago. When I saw the initials of whom he was communicating with, I almost blew chunks! An excerpt:
GWB: wuz happenen :}>
GWB: how old are you?
GWB: can I molest you
Squidboy: I'm not that kind of boy, loser.
GWB: I want you so bad
Squidboy: Bite me, perv.
GWB: thats my strategery
My goodness! I couldn't help but feel Squid's pain as I read the damning evidence of homo passions possibly running amok at the highest levels of this administration. No wonder Squid has always seemed a little traumatized, he'd apparently been almost sexually abused by the leader of the most powerful country in the world, or at least someone with the same initials. Of course, Squid couldn't remember if those were the exact initials, but he is sure there was a "W" in there somewhere, and this was all the proof I needed that the neocons have pretty much all gone "light in the loafers." Shocking!
Alas, as publicly happy as we libs are about the Republicans offending their constituents, behind the scenes we're disgusted by their creep into the homo/pedophile/deviant fabric of society. We've worked too hard to establish ourselves in these areas and won't concede them (and the accompanying votes) to the GOP. If they want to do these things, let them become Democrats.
Note to my faithful readers: Immediately after writing the above, I checked myself into an undisclosed rehab center for treatment of various dependencies and personal problems. It goes without saying I'm clearly not responsible for this story.
Now here's a thread clearly deserving of major ZOT.
We are? This is TOO funny.
ZOT this crap!
Something tells me nobody sees the humor in this.....
This must be terribly aggravating to homosexuals who shut up and do their jobs. On one side religious people varying from a degree of laissez-faire distate, to those who want them killed; on the other side, those who want to use and abuse them for their own political agenda, while despising them behind their backs. That is, the democrats.
Perhaps there is some value to the "log cabin republicans", whose biggest advocacy seems to be "If I shut up and do my job, will you leave me alone?"
I can appreciate that. Two important omissions to the Bill of Rights should be: The Right to be Ignored, and the Right to Not be Pestered.
People who are happy to be ignored when they are doing their jobs and obeying the law should not be pestered.
If you open up your mouth and make a fool of yourself, you lose you right to not be pestered. The same with demanding that other people pay attention to you. That's basic libel law.
But if you shut up and do your job, you have a right to be ignored and not be pestered.
this crossed the line of satire long before it got here
ZOT ZOT ZOT ZOT ZOT ZOT
8 posts and it's still here? The Mods must be busy somewhere else.
Funny stuff. Pure satire.