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Gore's newest on global warming (humor)
Me | 1/3/07 | Bill Levinson

Posted on 01/03/2007 12:07:40 PM PST by Winged Hussar

I heard that Al Gore has come up with some new ideas and observations about global warming.

(1) If global warming is not stopped, warming in the Arctic will thaw out the Blob, which was dropped near the North Pole after characters played by Steve McQueen and others froze it with carbon dioxide fire extinguishers.

(2) If the government will not enact carbon taxes and carbon emission caps, it must build giant refrigerators to be operated with their doors open to cool the environment.

(3) The Laws of Thermodynamics, which outlaw the construction of perpetual-motion machines and also the generation of energy by transferring heat from a cold reservior to a hot one, must be repealed by Congress.

(4) Captain Planet and the Planeteers must be given a high-level Cabinet position.

(5) The EPA and FDA must enact strict regulations on dihydrogen monoxide. This currently unregulated non-organic chemical is present in many foods, our drinking water (even bottled water), and the human body. It is the principal component of acid rain. Its vapor causes severe burns, while inhalation of substantial quantities can be fatal. Nonethless, it is pretty much unregulated, and there are not even caps on how much is allowed in food.


TOPICS: Politics
KEYWORDS: algore; globalwarming; greenhousegases; kyototreaty
I bet Gore is really stupid enough to pick up #3-#5 as his newest environmental causes.
1 posted on 01/03/2007 12:07:41 PM PST by Winged Hussar
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To: Winged Hussar

Up here in Maine we're burning a lot less oil than normal because of the mild winter we've had so far. If the result of global warming is burning less oil why would'nt Al Gore welcome it? It's not like he has stock in oil or anything like that.


2 posted on 01/03/2007 12:12:18 PM PST by ImAmericanFirst (Offended By The Offended)
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To: Winged Hussar
Superman knows where the dimmer switch is! He can crank down the gain and Be Cool.

The Blob was one of the SciFi spectaculars over New Year's weekend.

Our drill team once flew in a Globemaster for a Military Field Day event where we were the guest drill team!!! We sat in the upper deck and a band sat downstairs. Musta been 125 of us on board!

3 posted on 01/03/2007 12:30:56 PM PST by Young Werther
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To: Winged Hussar

ahhh good ol' number 5... just tell Al Gore that the polar ice caps also contain large quantities of 'oxidane' and cite the effects of 'dihydrogen monoxide' as its effects


4 posted on 01/03/2007 12:56:27 PM PST by verum ago (The Iranian Space Agency: set phasers to jihad!)
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