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DUmmie FUnnies 01-23-07 (" Why the HELL is John Kerry Dead Last at 8%?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 23, 2007 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/23/2007 5:45:46 AM PST by PJ-Comix

One Democrat candidate after another is now declaring their intention to run for president. Lost in the crowd (along with the DUFU-endorsed candidate, Tom Vilsack) is John Kerry. Think about it. Kerry was the Democrat 2004 nominee and now he is DEAD LAST in a poll of major candidates. At least Kerry has one hopeful sign. He is still ahead of Tom Vilsack since the former Iowa governor is doing so horribly in his campaign that he is BELOW dead last. Even Chris Dodd is now getting more buzz than Tom Vilsack. Of course, Vilsack could turn it all around INSTANTLY if only he follows the advice of the DUmmie FUnnies to WEAR THE BEAR. Unfortunately for Kerry, there is NOTHING he can now wear to raise his low esteem among Democrats. Not even an EXTRA-LARGE jockstrap. And now that the DUmmies have finally realized that Kerry is damaged goods, we can now see their honest opinion of him in this THREAD titled, "Meet the Press 'Presidential Preference Poll:' Why the HELL is John Kerry Dead Last at 8%?" The upside to Kerry's poor political fortunes will be the comedic entertainment to be provided by his inevitable implosion when he realized that he WON'T be getting the nomination. Here is a guy who for most of his life had the single goal of becoming the OTHER JFK and now it is about to be taken away from him for good. So let us now watch the DUmmies give a fairly realistic assessment of Kerry in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble correspondent again reminding Tom Vilsack to WEAR THE BEAR, is in the [brackets]:

Meet the Press "Presidential Preference Poll:" Why the HELL is John Kerry Dead Last at 8%?

[Maybe he needs better joke writers.]

I mean really - Kerry is probably the most intelligent, best debater, best speaker, and the most Presidential. So he goofed in 2004, so what. That doesn't make him a failure. And his latest gaff, falsely accused of being against the troops when the repubs and media twisted his words about being bogged down in Iraq, was completely outrageous. He's a war hero for freakin sakes.

[He's a war hero? Why hasn't he told us that before?]

He has all the experience. He knows how our government works. He's on critical intelligence committees. So why is Kerry so damn maligned?

[Maybe you should ask Chuck Schumer in the pic above why Kerry gets no respect.]

actually, people here did complain about the mistakes he was making in his campaign, but those stating those views were stomped on. I personally think Brazille is not competent, and should have been replaced early on, but some people actually believed that such observations were racist or sexist. She blew it in so many ways, that I still shudder whenshe appears on some MSM Cable gnus program.

[Yeah. Blame it all on Donna Brazille.]

He simply doesnt have a warm manner .... nobody can be blamed for that, but there is no mistaking his lack of popularity ...

[Kerry has all the warmth of an icicle. Not exactly a drinking buddy sort of guy.]

Personally I do not think he is a good speaker. If you are going to run for president you can't say in 400 words what can be said in 30 words.

[No wonder Pied Piper Pitt aspired to become a Kerry speech writer. He specialized in that type of word inflation.]

Part of his problem was that he had some really bad handlers I think.

[I remember reading how upset Kerry was at his butler for not having a hairbrush on hand when Master John needed it.]

Plus, Kerry is not last. There are a bunch of candidates in that poll getting less than 3%.

[Tom Vilsack is less than Zero. WEAR THE BEAR!!!]

He is a victim of sociopathic character assassination.

[And all this time I thought he was merely a victim of swift boating.]

He did beat Bush in 04. He just couldn't out-cheat Bush in 04.

[Thank you, Diebold!]

Like it or not, the public's image of Kerry is already ingrained in people's heads.

[It's hard to rid that image of Kerry in his Speedos from our minds.]

And that's my big reservation about Edwards - I first saw it in the VP debates when he had the opportunity to rip Cheney to shreds and didn't do it. Now he says he was restrained from contesting the 04 results by the party, but I have to wonder how much he really wanted to slug it out.

[Edwards didn't want to do anything that would get his hair in a mess.]

Because of a blown punch line, and because of being swiftboated.

[Other than that he would be tops in the polls.]

Kerry is not very comforting. To be comforting, you need to be comfortable with yourself.

[Kerry only feels comfortable when he is wearing an EXTRA-LARGE jockstrap.]

He lost, he's damaged, he's passe.

[So what's the downside about Kerry?]

KKKarl is not satisfied with beating his opponents, he has to destroy them before he's through. Between the swift boats and the gaffe about the troops intelligence, Rove ran him right into the ground. Of course he has considerable responsibility for this himself by laying down and not fighting back.

[The Rape of Lucretia Kerry by the EVIL Tarquinius Rove.]

I think alot of democrats were disappointed by his '08 run (in the general election) especially his inability to refute the swift boaters in a timely way. I think many democrats simply want somebody else. Then his so-called "gaffe" towards the end of the '06 election where he was then sidelined for several days--apparently hurt him as well.

[And then there is that Lurch face of his.]

because we live in a throw away culture always on the lookout for new packaging, new product....

[Obama ears are now the current hot product line.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; hillaryclinton; johnkerry; tomvilsack
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Tom Vilsack is still beneath the bottom of the bottom tier of candidates. His campaign is just NOT catching on. Right now the ONLY thing that can save it is for Vilsack to WEAR THE BEAR.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 01/23/2007 5:45:48 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


2 posted on 01/23/2007 5:46:49 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

ib4tp


3 posted on 01/23/2007 5:46:55 AM PST by NeoCaveman (yabba dabba dhue)
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To: PJ-Comix

Dennis Kucinich the Communist would kill for 8%


4 posted on 01/23/2007 5:47:32 AM PST by NeoCaveman (yabba dabba dhue)
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To: PJ-Comix

top 10


5 posted on 01/23/2007 5:48:30 AM PST by Mercat
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 10!!


6 posted on 01/23/2007 5:48:30 AM PST by KoRn
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To: PJ-Comix

Holy mackerel! Top 5?


7 posted on 01/23/2007 5:48:42 AM PST by CSM (We're not losing our country, some are just throwing it away. - Sherri-D)
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To: PJ-Comix
" I mean really - Kerry is probably the most intelligent, best debater, best speaker, and the most Presidential"

LOL! Too bad they all don't think like this. Another Kerry run would be a cake walk for our side!

8 posted on 01/23/2007 5:50:20 AM PST by KoRn
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To: PJ-Comix

He should explain that he is a Vietnam war vet.


9 posted on 01/23/2007 5:53:58 AM PST by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
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To: PJ-Comix
alot of democrats were disappointed by his '08 run

Be disappointed in advance, and avoid the rush.

10 posted on 01/23/2007 5:54:58 AM PST by steve-b (It's hard to be religious when certain people don't get struck by lightning.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Of course the fact that the "swift-boaters" were telling the truth had nothing to do with him being unable to refute the charges.
11 posted on 01/23/2007 5:57:04 AM PST by chesley ("Socialism" - compassion for those that don't have any.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I think alot of democrats were disappointed by his '08 run

Delusional? Or prescient?

-Eric

12 posted on 01/23/2007 5:57:43 AM PST by E Rocc (Myspace "Freepers" group moderator)
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To: PJ-Comix
I think alot of democrats were disappointed by his '08 run (in the general election) especially his inability to refute the swift boaters in a timely way.
  1. 'Alot' is NOT a word, moonbats (and 'others'). It's 'a lot', two separate words. There is allot but that's something completely different.
  2. Huh, '08?? Some moonbat must have a time machine :-)

13 posted on 01/23/2007 5:58:53 AM PST by Condor51 (The demoncRATs don't want another 'Vietnam' - they want another Dien Bien Phu.)
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To: chesley
Of course the fact that the "swift-boaters" were telling the truth had nothing to do with him being unable to refute the charges.
To the DUmmies, "the truth is a virus".

-Eric

14 posted on 01/23/2007 5:59:04 AM PST by E Rocc (Myspace "Freepers" group moderator)
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To: PJ-Comix

......had the single goal of becoming the OTHER JFK ......

The leaders lied to him and used him to do their dirty work. He believed them when they told him what a great guy he was and his twin records of being a military hero before he was a military traitor was a winner.

He learned like the Seattle American Idol contestants that mega self esteem doesn't cut it in the real world. Thinking yourself to be a great singer doesn't cut it when simon is judging.


15 posted on 01/23/2007 5:59:32 AM PST by bert (K.E. N.P. .... It's spit on a lefty day.)
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To: CzarNicky

he is?? well why in the heck isn't he letting people know??


16 posted on 01/23/2007 5:59:48 AM PST by GeorgiaDawg32 (I'm a Patriot Guard Rider..www.patriotguard.org for info..)
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To: PJ-Comix
Plus, Kerry is not last. There are a bunch of candidates in that poll getting less than 3%.

Typical liberal on so many levels. Lucy's football, intentions not results are what count, emote don't think, standards need to be lowered so everyone can feel good....
17 posted on 01/23/2007 6:05:05 AM PST by socialismisinsidious ( The socialist income tax system turns US citizens into beggars or quitters!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
18 posted on 01/23/2007 6:11:35 AM PST by 007girl
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To: PJ-Comix
Vilsack? The DU pick is Vilsack?

Man, they need some better meds.
19 posted on 01/23/2007 6:15:48 AM PST by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
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To: redgolum
Vilsack? The DU pick is Vilsack?

No. Vilsack is the DUFU pick for presidential nomination. You need to read the link provided to get up to speed on that.

20 posted on 01/23/2007 6:39:28 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
[He's a war hero? Why hasn't he told us that before?]

What's the difference between Benedict Arnold and John Kerry?

Benedict Arnold actually was a war hero.

21 posted on 01/23/2007 6:41:06 AM PST by dinasour (Pajamahadeen, SnowFlake, and Eeevil Doer.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Unfortunately for Kerry, there is NOTHING he can now wear to raise his low esteem among Democrats.

Perhaps there is one thing . . .


WEAR THE HARE!

22 posted on 01/23/2007 6:42:13 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (WEAR THE HARE!)
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To: PJ-Comix
He did beat Bush in 04. He just couldn't out-cheat Bush in 04.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
23 posted on 01/23/2007 6:45:42 AM PST by cripplecreek (Peace without victory is a temporary illusion.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Why the HELL is John Kerry Dead Last at 8%?

That's not true! John Kerry is NOT dead last!

He's ahead of Vilsack.

24 posted on 01/23/2007 6:48:21 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (At least until Vilsack decides to WEAR THE BEAR!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry is probably the most intelligent, best debater, best speaker, and the most Presidential.

And yet somehow he managed to lose to an unpopular Chimp riding an unpopular war. What kind of a loser must that make him?

25 posted on 01/23/2007 6:52:58 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (He had his chance and he blew it.)
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To: PJ-Comix


John Kerry knows, his makeover is going to push him over the top this time.

Cheers,

knewshound

http://www.knewshound.blogspot.com/
26 posted on 01/23/2007 6:53:43 AM PST by knews_hound (Sarcastically blogging since 2004.)
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To: PJ-Comix
So he goofed in 2004, so what.

Yeah, what's one teensy-weensy little election?

27 posted on 01/23/2007 6:55:13 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Shake it off! Go get 'em next time!)
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To: PJ-Comix
So why is Kerry so damn maligned?

You know, politics, if you make the most of it, you work hard, you use some common sense, and you make an effort to be patriotic, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck as the ski-bum boy toy of a gin-soaked ketchup dowager.


28 posted on 01/23/2007 7:00:17 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Get in malign.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Like it or not, the public's image of Kerry is already ingrained in people's heads.



29 posted on 01/23/2007 7:27:58 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Jean-Fraud Kerry, master of the botched photo op.)
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To: knews_hound


30 posted on 01/23/2007 7:28:08 AM PST by NewLand (Always Remember September 11, 2001)
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To: PJ-Comix
He's a war hero for freakin sakes.

Kerry shot and killed an enemy soldier as he was running away. Not sure if that part is hero-class. But anyway, Kerry gets a medal for this stuff while two of our Border Patrol Agents recently got 12 years in prison for shooting a fleeing drug dealer with 750 pounds of pot on the Mexican Border. You can't make this stuff up!

31 posted on 01/23/2007 7:36:24 AM PST by Ronaldus Magnus Reagan
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To: Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix

Kerry is completely oblivious to his wife's exhaustion, distress, depression in this pic. The pic defines him. He is no gentleman; he is a selfish jerk.

Reminds me of the photo-op Kerry set up at the Grand Canyon; his daughter reportedly was rude to everyone and Mrs. Heinz Kerry looked frightened and distraught as Kerry tried to shove her onto a helicopter in order to fly into the canyon.
"The love of my life," as she called her first husband, John Heinz, died in a helicopter crash.

Why do we let these squirrely sociopaths roam around the corridors of power?

Good stuff, PJ. Are you wearing a hat outside and drinking water frequently? You really must be aware of the chances for heat exhaustion.



32 posted on 01/23/2007 7:53:53 AM PST by Barset
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To: Barset
Reminds me of the photo-op Kerry set up at the Grand Canyon...

I seem to recall photos. Are you aware of any?

33 posted on 01/23/2007 7:59:20 AM PST by bcsco
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To: Charles Henrickson

Dude: You forgot the photo of Jihad Qerri hiking the football on the airport tarmac.


34 posted on 01/23/2007 8:07:45 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: PJ-Comix

Excellent as usual, PJ. This is going to be a fun election season....

especially if they keep the new BLOCK feature alive at DU. Did you see that? DU posters can now block anyone who disagrees with them from posting in their threads OR starting new threads on the topic. It ensures that everyone has the CORRECT opinions.

However, some DU-ers don't seem very happy about it...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1


35 posted on 01/23/2007 8:10:48 AM PST by lieutenant columbo
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To: bcsco

I'm sure there must be photos of the Grand Canyon debacle. Maybe google Kerry at Grand Canyon. I had to have seen still photos since no tv watching.


36 posted on 01/23/2007 8:17:07 AM PST by Barset
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To: PJ-Comix

Listening to these idiots blame every stupid thing Kerry does on Karl Rove gets tiresome after the 10,000th time.


37 posted on 01/23/2007 8:25:39 AM PST by Democratshavenobrains
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To: PJ-Comix
KKKarl is not satisfied with beating his opponents, he has to destroy them before he's through. Between the swift boats and the gaffe about the troops intelligence, Rove ran him right into the ground.


38 posted on 01/23/2007 8:43:09 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

39 posted on 01/23/2007 8:47:30 AM PST by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Kin Ah git me a huntin' lahsense here?


40 posted on 01/23/2007 8:52:06 AM PST by NRA1995 (They should've shredded Saddam Hussein...)
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To: PJ-Comix
Like it or not, the public's image of Kerry is already ingrained migrained in people's heads.

There...fixed it...

41 posted on 01/23/2007 9:02:09 AM PST by FDNYRHEROES (Always bring a liberal to a gunfight)
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To: lieutenant columbo

That certainly is "democratic" of them.


42 posted on 01/23/2007 9:08:00 AM PST by Paul Heinzman
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To: PJ-Comix

I'm intrigued...please, go on.

43 posted on 01/23/2007 9:12:06 AM PST by Paul Heinzman (I thought we were talking about Kerry, not Clinton.)
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To: PJ-Comix
She blew it in so many ways, that I still shudder whenshe appears on ...Cable.

Only on Showtime.

44 posted on 01/23/2007 9:18:12 AM PST by Paul Heinzman (I thought we were talking about Kerry, not Clinton.)
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To: Paul Heinzman
That was supposed to read: She blew it in so many ways

I'm intrigued...pleas, go on.

45 posted on 01/23/2007 9:20:44 AM PST by Paul Heinzman (I thought we were talking about Kerry, not Clinton.)
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To: Paul Heinzman

Oops, I blew it again, baby.


46 posted on 01/23/2007 9:21:43 AM PST by Paul Heinzman (I thought we were talking about Kerry, not Clinton.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Why the HELL is John Kerry Dead Last at 8%?

Because there are always a few who don't get the memo...

47 posted on 01/23/2007 9:21:51 AM PST by Interesting Times (ABCNNBCBS -- yesterday's news.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry is probably the most intelligent, best debater

Noam Chomsky may be a cunning linguist but Kerry's a master debater.

48 posted on 01/23/2007 9:23:10 AM PST by Paul Heinzman (I thought we were talking about Kerry, not Clinton.)
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To: knews_hound

LOL! I love that picture of Kerry! Everytime I see it the song "I'm Just a Gigolo" (sung by David Lee Roth) comes to mind...


49 posted on 01/23/2007 9:33:59 AM PST by COBOL2Java ("No stronger retrograde force exists in the world" - Winston Churchill on Islam)
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To: PJ-Comix

I still shudder when I think how close we were to a Kerry presidency.


50 posted on 01/23/2007 9:34:51 AM PST by GSWarrior
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