Skip to comments.President Hillary Clinton's first day in office
Posted on 05/16/2007 7:49:00 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
My fellow world citizens: Vice President Obama and I send you greetings from the Oval Office. I want to tell you what we have already accomplished today, and what we have planned for our first 100 days. Firstly, Vice President Obama and I are deeply disappointed with the rioting and social upheaval that have occurred since our election last November. As a result of this attack on our democracy, I have consulted with the United Nations, and have been granted permission to declare martial law, for as long as it takes to quell the insurrection. U.N. troops should be in your neighborhoods by the time you hear my voice, to confiscate all illegal firearms and put down these unlawful demonstrations. Members of the right-wing christian militias that attempted to assasinate me and my running mate in December are being questioned at a secure location, and these interrogations have led to thousands of arrests.
Today I have signed an executive order, allowing gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Americans to serve openly in the armed forces. The order also mandates that 20% of the military be GLBT, as figures tell us that is their representation in our society.
I have appointed my husband, former President William Jefferson Clinton, to the position of Secretary of State My other cabinet appointments are as follows:
General Wesley Clark as Secretary of Defense Former Atty.General Janet Reno at Homeland Security Dennis Kucinich as the newly created Peace Dept. Secy Former Vice President Al Gore as Sec'y of Energy Maxine Waters as UN Ambassador Sandy Berger as CIA Director Max Cleland as VA Secretary Cynthia McKinney as HUD Secretary Ray Nagin as FEMA Director, with others to be named soon.
I have also signed a bill today, courteously sent to me by House Speaker Pelosi, which makes it a federal hate crime to discriminate against, harrass, assault, joke about, slight, or otherwise slander anyone who might be, or be perceived to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.
Soon, all illegal firearms will be out of the hands of the vast right-wing conspiracy forces, and safely in the hands of the United Nations. Today, my administration began the withdrawl of U.S. forces from Iraq, and the handover of governnence to the Iraqi people. We have apologized to the Iraqis, and to all the other governments of the world, for the illegal invasion of a sovereign nation, and promise that it will never happen again. Most of the U.S. forces currently in Iraq and Afghanistan will be transferred to reeducation camps in Alaska, so that their murderous tendencies can be removed. Those that confess their wrongs will be allowed parole, those that do not will remain in the camps for the forseeable future.
Vice President Obama and I look forward to implementing national healthcare, increasing taxes on the unworthy fat cats, and trimming the sails of big oil, big pharma and the gunmakers. With your help, we can bring social justice, progressive values, and correct the mistakes of George Bush. Thank you, and good night.
That is certainly a nightmare. I will not live in fear. We all must fight against this kind of situation.
FReepers must not just talk to eachother. We must go outside our doors and talk to others. Call your Representatives, local and national.
Wake me when it’s over.
You forgot the bit about the shutting down of Talk Radio and Fox News Channel...
Now we all know these changes occur slowly and quietly behind closed doors. The general public will be watching digital cable, unaware of what is going on next door when neighbors just disappear overnight. Satan uses footholds,sugar-coated lies that tingle the ears, not bunker-busters.
Sadly, that sounds all too realistic like a bad dream in which one can’t wake up.
Hey, you forgot her elimination of the age of consent and the appointment of NAMBLA President as Head of the Department of Education.
Hillary really does need a campaign theme song to ensure her victory. I suggest this one:
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