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Selling Free Republic Candy Bars Door-to-Door!
Bloggers & Personal ^ | 14 Jul 07 | Xzins

Posted on 07/14/2007 10:05:38 AM PDT by xzins

I hate raising money selling anything, but the very thought of door-to-door candy sales gives me the willies.

Wouldn't it just be easier to donate when your kid comes home with some dumb candy bar to sell for the band, the team, ...?

Otherwise someone might get the idea to ship you a box of candybars to sell. (High sales gets a free bike to patrol the Mexican Border!)

The Simple Salesman:

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally, while checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The reverend knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie. Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor little Louis stuttered very badly..

But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis, the reverend decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles and asked them to report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday which they did.

Eager to find out how successful they were, the reverend immediately asked each of them how they made out selling the bibles.

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Father, using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the 200 dollars I collected on behalf of the church."

Paul, smiling said, "Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of my sales expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's 280 dollars I collected."

Louie silently offered the reverend a large envelope. The reverend opened it and counted the contents..

"What is this?" the reverend exclaimed. "Louie, there's 3200 dollars in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?"

Louie just nodded.

"That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could."

Curiously the reverend added "I think you'd better explain how you managed to do accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know "f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-justl-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"

TOPICS: Local News; Miscellaneous; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: candy; donation; freepathon; freepers

1 posted on 07/14/2007 10:05:40 AM PDT by xzins
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To: xzins

W-w-w-w-whats s-s-s-s-s-so f-f-f-f-funny?!

2 posted on 07/14/2007 10:14:01 AM PDT by johnny7 ("But that one on the far left... he had crazy eyes")
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To: johnny7


3 posted on 07/14/2007 10:16:34 AM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain And Proud of It! Those who support the troops will pray for them to WIN!)
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To: johnny7

Thanks for a good start to the day.

Now please Rrrrrreeeead it to me

4 posted on 07/15/2007 2:26:18 AM PDT by Dov in Houston (The word Amnesty invokes a passion in me. Illegal immigrants are criminals. Supporters Aid & Abet)
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