Posted on 12/19/2007 10:05:39 AM PST by PercivalWalks
Lead Feministing blogger Jessica Valenti, author of Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Matters, criticizes Abstinence Education in her recent blog post Abstinence-only Education: What we're missing. She makes some valid points, but what most interested me was her citing a 2004 Ms. Magazine article called Virgin Territory--Ms. goes to an abstinence conference and learns that it pays to be chaste. According to the article:
"Your body is a wrapped lollipop.
"When you have sex with a man, he unwraps your lollipop and sucks on it.
"It may feel great at the time, but, unfortunately, when he’s done with you, all you have left for your next partner is a poorly wrapped, saliva-fouled sucker.
"These words were actually uttered by Darren Washington, an abstinence educator, at the Eighth Annual Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference, an informational three-day trade show for abstinence educators, anti-abortion pregnancy care centers and medical professionals.
"Washington was giving examples of how to teach abstinence. He then called up volunteers from the audience and used an actual lollipop to help deliver the metaphor."
In other words, females are pure and good, until they're defiled and ruined by filthy males and their base, animal desires. What a nice message for my teenage son--and yours. And it's not the feminists who are pushing this stuff--it's conservatives.
Glenn Sacks, www.GlennSacks.com
I’m guessing there are some here on FR, that would agree with Washington...
The feminist movement preaches the sex positive agenda. They are anti-absinence. Rather than instill self-worth in teenaged girls, they push for sexual “liberation”. Free love isn’t free.
Ending the moral judgements over all sexual pairings regardless of sex, age, relation, marital status, number, or species of partner(s) will not make the women any less “oppressed”.
Let’s really blow a feminist fuse and tell them the truth: You shouldn’t have premarital sex because God says so.
Boys are only looking for one thing in a girl....
Abstinence is ultimately up to the girl.
I guess I'm a troglodyte.
Well, that is what liberals think; by ending moral judgments, woman can be easy and thus end their oppression. Its a notion absolutely ridiculous on its face.
One, you are not going to change men's mind; if you are a whore, your a whore. Now what can you say when your a whore? In the end, men dont want to stay with whores. No apologies, but I have to be that blunt.
Now if you were also to follow the liberal mentality, what kind of consequences are there? There tons from biological, physical, psycological, and emotional that are not even really discussed in any serious matter when teaching sex ed. It cheats our young women of the truth and I have too many women friends who are casualties.
I used the duct tape example. Rub a strip of duct tape on the forearm and describe how sexual intimacy is intended to bind you to someone. And when that bond is broken (rip off tape) it hurts! And when you try again with someone else (re-apply tape here), the bond isn’t so strong anymore (pull off the tape). Pretty soon, there is nothing about it that sticks much anymore.
Excellent
A major problem I had growing up was I was taught that we were equal so I tried for it and gave them the benefit to reject me if they were not interested. I also took what some would offer figuring they knew what they were doing. That was not right.
excellent, and the example applies regardless of your gender.
How about telling them that it’ll lead to exploitation and shame and that birth control will affect naturally occuring hormonal changes during puberty that are supposed to prepare them for the rest of their lives?
And mention that abortion is murder, whether they are capable of bringing a child into this world or not.
Ok. Let’s tell them that too!
Oh please.
Bottom line, better if everyone is chaste.
Too bad feminists didn’t figure this out much earlier, rather than becoming sex-obsessed themselves.
They should be told that ultimately “sex” is about children. It brings them into the world; that is its purpose, solely.
For all the birth control, even if you are successful and never conceive with it, you will likely retain “emotional scars” if you will, that will trickle down and affect your actual legitimate children in some subtle way. Such as, pining for the time you screwed so&so instead of their father/mother. A kind of temptation. Or even, just a huge sense of guilt that is “baggage”.
Better to avoid any of those possible scenarios altogether.
Sorry, you entry requires your notice of my tagline...
you - your - you know what I mean...
8^)
Some would suggest using new tape.
It IS its purpose. Period. Not an opinion.
We love eating because we have to be attracted to food which keeps us alive. That is the purpose of taste buds and the pleasure from them. Fact, period. Same with sex.
Not to be argumentative, but using your logic, there is no reason then for a woman to have sexual relations with her husband after menopause.
It is the whole meaning of life. Continuing propagation and raising up the kids.
I respectfully disagree. The sole purpose of our existence is to glorify God - in everything that we do.
Propagation of the species is certainly important - especially since it is among the first of God's commands to his creation.
To suggest however, that procreation is the whole meaning of life is to allow that a pagan family with 10 children has a more meaningful existence (giving more glory to God) than a missionary couple who've had the misfortune of being childless all their lives.
Most men are of better character than our media culture gives them credit for, and of at least as good character as women.
No, he's whining. "OOOOoooohhh, they say mean things about boys. My poooooor poor son!"
Mr. Sacks seems to have forgotten what teenaged boys are like. Here in the real world, teenaged boys want to have sex with girls. That's just a plain fact. And many of those boys will say whatever it takes to get some. That, too, is just a plain fact.
And it's also true that the stigma of premarital sex attaches differently to women than it does to men -- and it always has. What the fellow is saying about that, is REALLY true -- a used girl is used goods.
Darren Washington's message is simply this: abstinence is up to the girl, because the consequences of premarital sex are much greater for her.
I agree. However when it comes to common sense - and sex especially, I tend to disagree.
As a general rule, societies where women are careful (and given the choice) about when to "give in" (read: marriage) - it is that society where you will find more civility, stronger families, and a heightened sense of community (even faith).
However, when you start to see more and more women acting like adolescent men (negligent promiscuity, disregard of family), there you will find a society in danger of decline.
So ladies, let it be known - you are the gatekeepers of civilization. Don't let us down 8^)
Dareen Washington’s analogy of a lollipop shows very poor judgement. He needs to do a little critique of his methods.
From what I have read in the press and other forums
ANGRY FEMINISTs say: ‘Off Our Backs!’
So why don’t they start with teaching women (and men)
to get off their backs?
They will have the FREE UNIVERSAL birth control they are always lobbying for ! AND they will have free AIDs prevention too. AND a host of other problems would also
be diminished to nearly zero.
Leads me to question; why do feminists and pop culture keep pushing unmarried people into sex ???
quote:
And it’s also true that the stigma of premarital sex attaches differently to women than it does to men — and it always has. What the fellow is saying about that, is REALLY true — a used girl is used goods.
Darren Washington’s message is simply this: abstinence is up to the girl, because the consequences of premarital sex are much greater for her.
I agree with you about teen sex-drive, girl-stigma and all of that, however Mr. Washington is wrong if he completely (according to this thread) puts the responsibility on the female.
Can’t Males (of any age) use their judgement and self control ?
I know men and teens that do proclaim abstinence so it is not an impossible or hopeless challenge.
Hopefully men/women and teens can learn to stay away from compromising situations right from the start, learn to recognise and understand cultural and peer pressure vs personal integrity.
Sure. And I'd go so far as to say that most guys do, most of the time. Unfortunately, almost no guy does it all the time.
So the question is: can the girl count on the male to use his judgment and self-control?
She cannot exercise any control over which head -- big or small -- that happens to be guiding the actions of the guy she's talking to. The only positive control a girl has, is to close the gate on her side, because it's almost inevitable that she'll end up arguing with some bozo's small head from time to time.
Sorry -- I have no patience with Glenn Sacks, nor do I find offense in a fellow saying something that is recognizeably true.
Is the lollipop in question a Tootsie Roll Pop? Because if so, there’s a powerful argument to be made that the previous sucker simply assisted the subsequent sucker in getting that much closer to the chewy center.
Sorry, although I sympathize with the message, I cannot abide clumsy metaphors. I could teach abstinence far more effectively, simply by dragging my two squalling, snot-crusted spawn to the talk. Also by flashing my pregnancy-induced varicose veins.
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