Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[jwalsh07]

Hah! Good one! Global warming the unifying theory of climate that predicts everything and nothing.

[denydenydeny]

LOL! Excellent.

[AndyTheBear]

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate.

I expect it might be even higher for zombies with significant plant matter integrated into their corpses.

[MizSterious]

Are those the ones running for office, or do they include all of them, including the ones on DU?

[WorkingClassFilth]

I call hoax on this study.

It is a well known and obvious fact that we’re all under attack by blood-sucking zombies and they are currently vying for national leadership...

[andyk]

Mayor Adam West will not be pleased.

[humblegunner]

And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.

Undead prey ping.

[quark]

"All your money and children are belong to us!"

[COBOL2Java]

Most terrifying, dare I say it, would be the return of...

Michael Jackson!

[Notary Sojac]

Possibly true, but at least we’ll be safe from zombie polar bears.

[mattstat]

I don’t think that follows. Zombie polar bears are already used to the cold.

[Smogger]

That’s why I have a Glock 8, and Glock 40, and an Ithaca 12 guage. Now all I need is LOTS more ammo.

[mattstat]

Oops. I am wrong, wrong, wrong. Dr Harrister, who is at my side, tried to correct me and I did not listen.

Sorry, Sojac.

Such folly!

[colorado tanker]

If this global warming keeps up we may get another attack by the killer tomatoes too!

[joebuck]

"The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase.."

I usually like my predictions a bit more precise than this.

[Snickering Hound]

[Southack]

Al Gore will be pleased...

[Hoffer Rand]

This could happen. After all, the Blob already ate algore.

[saluki_in_ohio]

In other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.....

[Kozak]

[Responsibility2nd]

I already emailed warmlist to add Zombies to

A complete list of things caused by global warming

[Nuc1]

Spot on. Just look at the DNC and DU Kos Kids etc.

[Dr.Zoidberg]

Oh good.

I’ve been wanting a longer zombie season. It’s so hard to reach the bag limit in only 8 months.

Now maybe I’ll be able to bag my 30k this year.

[JoanVarga]

Be prepared.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

ZOMBIES.....PING!!

[Slings and Arrows]

There are no zombies. They are merely maimed corpses that Chuck Norris has not yet given permission to die.

[pandoraou812]

And what club do these zombies belong to ???

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

But how does climate change affect C.H.U.D.?

[dynachrome]

Take the quiz!
http://www.quizilla.com/users/DenialAintARiver/quizzes/Would%20You%20Survive%20the%20Zombie%20Apocalypse?/

“Congratulations! You made it! You climbed on top of others at times, helped out the ones you thought you could save, but regardless of your level of altruism, you’ve survived the zombie apocalypse. Your knowledge of weaponry, quick thinking, smart planning, and cold efficiency have saved your life. Go on and boogie—you deserve it.”

[ASA Vet]

Zombies according to Bob Hope.

[Hot Tabasco]

They are merely maimed corpses that Chuck Norris has not yet given permission to die.

And Jack Bauer put them in that state of semi-rigormortous

[Jonah Hex]

That's a good start (although I prefer the AR-15 platform), but you need to show a ammo fort to make it right.

[Hot Tabasco]

Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming

Why does the name John McCain suddenly come to mind..........

[steelyourfaith]

Beam me to Planet Gore !

Parody Ping

[LongElegantLegs]

Gross & Corpsified ping

[MaxMax]

Next up on Coast to Coast, with George Noory.

[MaxMax]

You only have twenty rifles showing there. To be really really ready, you’ll need at least 21.

[Vor Lady]

Too funny!

[Polonius]

John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D. ... funny stuff.

[monkapotamus]

[Domandred]

I so gotta make one of those!

[Tribune7]

You’d think you’d at least have a Winchester 30-30 in that arsenal.

[Tribune7]

You’d think you’d at least have a Winchester 30-30 in that arsenal.

[Steamburg]

Where do I apply for these Educational Grants?
?

[SevenofNine]

Well if they going do remake of Night of Living Dead Hillary might have a part LOL!

[dhot]

I KNEW IT!

[Grizzled Bear]

Would You Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

Congratulations! You made it! You climbed on top of others at times, helped out the ones you thought you could save, but regardless of your level of altruism, you've survived the zombie apocalypse. Your knowledge of weaponry, quick thinking, smart planning, and cold efficiency have saved your life. Go on and boogie--you deserve it.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

I Rock!

[Grizzled Bear]

Take this test!

My results are here -

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1962879/posts?page=48#48

[dynachrome]

"why's everybody always pickin' on me?"