Posted on 05/08/2008 3:10:21 PM PDT by John Semmens
A man awaiting trial on a murder charge is suing Benton County, Arkansas, complaining that the “skimpy rations” he has been fed in the county jail caused him to lose more than 100 pounds during eight months in jail.
“I used to be a sturdy 400-plus pounds,” Laswell boasted. “Now, I’m practically skin and bones. It’s cruel and unusual punishment.”
Laswell is being assisted in his suit by the ACLU. “This is but another sorry example of the pattern of torture and abuse that has overtaken the U.S. penal system under the Bush Administration,” said ACLU spokesman, Bertram Petty. “Starving prisoners is the kind of thing you expect in a Nazi concentration camp, not in America. It’s a clear a violation of the 5th Amendment.”
Jailhouse meals provide an average of 3,000 calories a day, according to jailer, Capt. Hunter Petray. A typical American diet consists of 2,000 to 3,000 calories a day.
Laswell has been charged along with a co-defendant for fatally beating and stabbing a man, then setting his home on fire.
LOL
BTTT
Let’s see, he’s suing Benton County, Arkansas, so I’m guessing it’s a county jail. Then his ACLU snake blames President Bush for the penal system. Hmmmm.
He used to be over 400 lbs. He’s lost about 100 lbs. Somehow, I doubt the remaining 300+ qualifies as “skin and bones.” He’s probably just panicking because he can see his feet for the first time in years.
It’s not right!
Prisoners are fed 3,000 calories a day? What? So they can be strong enough to pump iron and lift weights and gain muscle mass so they can eventually be released only to be able to better beat people up?
Prisoner diets should be restricted to 1750 calories.
Yours truly,
The Woim
If he's 7' 5"...I might shed a tear.
Onion? ;)
IF guilty....he's lucky he's not swinging from a very sturdy rope.
Is this by Scott Ott???
Euphoria ping... ;-)
I’m surprised when people ask this question on John’s threads. John Semmens is a fellow FReeper who writes exquisite satire. I’m a big fan (and have been for some time now).
Check out his previous threads - it’s worth the effort.
Well, in Arkansas, I suppose he would be considered skinny!
Funny stuff.
So is the story for real, if he writes satire? :-)
I’ll try to check out previous posts by Mr. Semmens when I get a chance! :-)
Dude oughta be paying the jail for helping him lose the weight instead of complaining!! His health is surely improving as well!! Some of those ‘fat farms’ out there charge an arm and a leg for what he’s getting for ‘free’! :-)
Unfortunately, unless he gets the death penalty, he’s going to be eating on the taxpayers’ dime for many, many years.
People pay a lot of money to go to fat camps to lose weight like that! Arkansas should rent out cells in their jails to fat people who want to lose weight!.
The story is semi-real/semi-satire.
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