She will never see that as having been her choice. She will believe it was a choice forced on her by others and their "hateful" opinions. It is sad.
You are absolutely correct.
She sent a note to her middle son who has basically avoided her, laying on a thick layer of guilt and begging him to call her. His wife (who is the most Christian woman I know) said that she and the kids (6 & 4) could see “Grandma” but not with her girlfriend.
The son called her and told her this. Mom hung up.