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New York Plans Bye-Bye Hillary Bash
Fit-To-Print News ^

Posted on 11/30/2008 5:40:25 PM PST by Ge0ffrey

(ALBANY, NY) Sound the trumpets. Bang the drums. Forgotten upstate New York residents plan massive Bye Bye Bashes in anticipation of Hillary Clinton’s appointment as Secretary of State.

Numerous spontaneous grassroots celebrations have sprung up seemingly overnight after the news broke last week that president-elect Barack Obama might tap Hillary for a cabinet position in his new administration.

Although not official until tomorrow, Buffalo, upstate’s second largest city, plans a parade down Elmwood Avenue followed by fireworks over the Niagara River.

Meanwhile, Adirondack celebrants plan to ski a pumpkin-headed Hillary effigy off the high jump in Lake Placid’s Olympic Village. “I can’t wait to see the splat,” said Alfred Granger, a year-round Schroon Lake resident.

Even oft-forgotten and unincorporated villages like Hamlet in Chautauqua County plan a unique carpet bag bonfire Monday evening back of the Methodist Church and katty corner to the cemetery.

“We’ve scoured basements and attics for carpet bags,” said Doris Livingstone trying to suppress a smile. “Get it? Carpet bags,” she added, referring to the term used to identify northern politicians who moved south during Reconstruction after the Civil War.

Residents of Big Flats, a village near Elmira, have, as the centerpiece of their festivities, a stepping stone contest. Residents must run atop strategically placed slippery rocks across a tributary of the Chemung river. The fastest resident to successfully cross receives a symbolic boot in the behind from the county tax assessor.

“Hillary planned to revitalize upstate New York,” opined former Webster resident Daniel Stiptick. ‘She said she would help create 200,000 jobs but we’ve lost 20,000.”

“Unfortunately, she did do one thing,”. Stiptick added. “She helped turn upstate NY from red to blue, because most Republicans have moved elsewhere.” Stiptick now lives in Texas.

Canandaigua residents plan a Dying-on-the-Vine Party on Tuesday. Residents must either quickly run through a gauntlet of grapevine thrashing citizens or face stinging pain. No prizes will be awarded.


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: 111th; bho2008; hillary; hillaryclinton; secretaryofstate; seeya; upstatenewyork

1 posted on 11/30/2008 5:40:25 PM PST by Ge0ffrey
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To: Ge0ffrey

This means the Yankees will start winning the World Series again.

Damn


2 posted on 11/30/2008 5:41:39 PM PST by misterrob (Smooth talkers win at singles bars and in politics .. often with similar outcomes for the listener)
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To: Ge0ffrey

Hilarious.


3 posted on 11/30/2008 5:42:48 PM PST by Soothesayer (The United States of America Rest in Peace November 4 2008)
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To: Ge0ffrey
Adirondack celebrants plan to ski a pumpkin-headed Hillary effigy off the high jump in Lake Placid’s Olympic Village

LOL. I would love to have video.

4 posted on 11/30/2008 5:43:59 PM PST by Bahbah (Typical white person-Snow white)
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To: misterrob
This means the Yankees will start winning the World Series again.

Not until Pay-Rod retires!

5 posted on 11/30/2008 5:44:02 PM PST by ssaftler (Imagine January 20, 2013)
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To: Ge0ffrey
Meanwhile, Adirondack celebrants plan to ski a pumpkin-headed Hillary effigy off the high jump in Lake Placid’s Olympic Village. “I can’t wait to see the splat,” said Alfred Granger,

They should dress the effigy up in Hillary's "Great Pumpkin" pantsuit, while they're at it.

6 posted on 11/30/2008 5:47:56 PM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: Ge0ffrey

Sounds like a good riddance celebration.


7 posted on 11/30/2008 5:50:21 PM PST by golfisnr1 (Democrats are like roaches - hard to get rid of.)
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To: Ge0ffrey

Anybody know who’s replacing Hitlery for NY Sen?


8 posted on 11/30/2008 5:53:17 PM PST by max americana
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To: max americana

Rumor has it that Bill Clinton might get the nod.


9 posted on 11/30/2008 5:55:03 PM PST by Ge0ffrey
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To: ssaftler

You mean “Gay Rod.”


10 posted on 11/30/2008 5:56:29 PM PST by Clemenza (Red is the Color of Virility, Blue is the Color of Impotence)
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To: Clemenza

Do you know something about him we don’t?


11 posted on 11/30/2008 5:57:36 PM PST by darkangel82 (I don't have a superiority complex, I'm just better than you.)
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To: Ge0ffrey

Chelsea will replace her as senator just you watch


12 posted on 11/30/2008 5:58:10 PM PST by al baby (Hi mom Honkeys for Mc Cain Palin)
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To: al baby

I have not checked but is Chelsea old enough?


13 posted on 11/30/2008 6:00:25 PM PST by Maine Mariner
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To: Maine Mariner

She will have to wait until the 2010 election when she will be old enough. No Republican has a shot in NY anyway.


14 posted on 11/30/2008 6:01:39 PM PST by darkangel82 (I don't have a superiority complex, I'm just better than you.)
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To: Ge0ffrey

I can’t wait to hear Hillary’s “Adios Suckers!” speech.


15 posted on 11/30/2008 6:03:01 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (For more information on America's "new direction" read The Road to Serfdom. by Friedrich A. Hayek.)
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To: Ge0ffrey
"Although not official until tomorrow, Buffalo, upstate’s second largest city, plans a parade down Elmwood Avenue followed by fireworks over the Niagara River."

Buffalo and New York City elected Hillary to the Senate. The rest of the state has more intelligence than the dimwits in these two cities. Hillary was wining and dining Buffalo Democrats before every election. Lots of meetings behind closed doors.

16 posted on 11/30/2008 6:05:27 PM PST by mia
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To: Ge0ffrey

Thanks for the info. I thought a Republican was waiting in the wings..


17 posted on 11/30/2008 6:06:08 PM PST by max americana
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To: Maine Mariner

Since when do laws and rules matter gessssss


18 posted on 11/30/2008 6:07:49 PM PST by al baby (Hi mom Honkeys for Mc Cain Palin)
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To: Ge0ffrey
New York's loss is.... never mind.
19 posted on 11/30/2008 6:15:55 PM PST by OCC
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To: Bahbah

Youtube will probably pull the footage if posted.


20 posted on 11/30/2008 6:16:44 PM PST by weegee (Sec. of State Clinton. What kind of change is it to keep the Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton Oligarchy?)
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To: max americana

Hugo Chavez..... he’s a bit more conservative than her


21 posted on 11/30/2008 6:30:28 PM PST by Operation_Shock_N_Awe (I'd rather be a conservative nut job than a liberal with no nuts and no job)
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To: Operation_Shock_N_Awe

Perfect choice for the commie nimrods in NY.


22 posted on 11/30/2008 6:37:57 PM PST by max americana
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To: misterrob

LOL


23 posted on 11/30/2008 6:45:02 PM PST by angcat (Despite the mess, I have much to be thankful for!)
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To: Ge0ffrey

Anyone care to bet how many times you’ll hear about this in the media?? And that includes FOX, who just refused to renew E.D. Hill’s contract (after she single-handedly literally CREATED their morning show with her beauty).


24 posted on 11/30/2008 7:51:41 PM PST by The Ghost of Rudy McRomney (Stuck Between Barak and a Hard Place(Pelosi))
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Why do democrat politicians get elevated to such rock star status? What incredibly noteworthy achievements has hillary had while in office to merit such blind adoration?


25 posted on 11/30/2008 7:53:22 PM PST by dsrtsage (John Galt, Dagney Taggart..2008)
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To: darkangel82
Do you know something about him we don't?

The reference is to a play Mr. Rodriguez made in the 6th game of the 2004 ALCS Playoff against the Red Sox. In slapping the ball from the glove of the player attempting to tag him out, dear Alex made a somewhat effeminate gesture, which, for Red Sox Nation has earned him the nickname.

Then again, his recent dalliance with Madonna, given her recent marriage, can't be helping rid him of the moniker, can it?

26 posted on 11/30/2008 8:10:38 PM PST by ssaftler (Imagine January 20, 2013)
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