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Porn Industry to Seek Bailout Money
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 10 Jan 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/10/2009 5:11:58 PM PST by John Semmens

Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis and Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt say they have sent letters to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Representative Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) asking for $5 billion.

“People don’t understand the importance of our industry in these hard economic times,” Francis said. “Men who’ve lost their jobs will have time on their hands. We can help occupy that time. Instead of roaming the streets looking for trouble, they can be safely diverted. Besides, Larry has some confidential information that many in Congress might find especially persuasive.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Humor; Society; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: boobs; nudity; satire; sex

1 posted on 01/10/2009 5:11:59 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: 14erClimb; #1CTYankee; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; A message; abigailsmybaby; acapesket; afnamvet; ...

ping


2 posted on 01/10/2009 5:12:45 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Dudes, it’s satire.


3 posted on 01/10/2009 5:13:00 PM PST by i_dont_chat (Our black President is quite blackmailable.)
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To: John Semmens; NeoCaveman; SoothingDave; CholeraJoe; xsmommy

very clever....


4 posted on 01/10/2009 5:15:16 PM PST by tioga (Let us unite in prayer for our country.)
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To: John Semmens

Too bad this one isn’t satire...


5 posted on 01/10/2009 5:18:03 PM PST by xcamel (The urge to save humanity is always a false front for the urge to rule it. - H. L. Mencken)
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To: John Semmens

The relief package is going to be delivered in a plain brown wrapper!


6 posted on 01/10/2009 5:22:42 PM PST by LottieDah (If only those who speak so eloquently on the rights of animals would do so on behalf of the unborn.)
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To: John Semmens

How do you say stimulate the economy?

Very good John.

.....Bob


7 posted on 01/10/2009 5:28:54 PM PST by Lokibob (When handed lemons...Refuse to sign for them. Life's lemons can't be delivered without a signature.)
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To: John Semmens

Well, if it was ‘Boys Gone Wild’, Barney Frank would be all over it.


8 posted on 01/10/2009 5:29:20 PM PST by tbpiper (Al Gore is to Global Warming what Berney Madoff is to Finance .)
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To: John Semmens

“...Larry has some confidential information that many in Congress might find especially persuasive.”

hehe. Truth there.


9 posted on 01/10/2009 5:30:14 PM PST by dynachrome (Barack Hussein Obama yunikku khinaaziir)
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To: John Semmens
Besides, Larry has some confidential information that many in Congress might find especially persuasive.”

Guess we'll know who they are when they push for this bailout. LOL!

10 posted on 01/10/2009 6:17:56 PM PST by NRA2BFree (We've got more snow since Albore invented global warming than we've had for the last two decades.)
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To: John Semmens

LOL!


11 posted on 01/10/2009 6:36:41 PM PST by melt (Someday they'll wish their Jihad... Jihadn't.)
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To: John Semmens

Thanks for the ping John. Read them all. Excellent satire as usual. We chuckled at the truths in them all.


12 posted on 01/10/2009 7:02:28 PM PST by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, Call 'em what you will, they ALL have Fairies livin' in their Trees.)
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To: John Semmens

Satire for sure :-) -— The day the porn mob runs out of money, man will have been extinct for some time :-)


13 posted on 01/10/2009 7:36:30 PM PST by EagleUSA
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To: John Semmens

Very good, John, thanks for the ping. :)


14 posted on 01/10/2009 8:06:58 PM PST by jazusamo (But there really is no free lunch, except in the world of political rhetoric,.: Thomas Sowell)
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To: John Semmens
John...you're killing me. 'CNN spokesperson, Bea Smurch...'

May I suggest her PMSNBC counterpart...Ima Browne-Nozar?

;) PaMom

15 posted on 01/10/2009 9:06:10 PM PST by PennsylvaniaMom (PA is a banana republic without the great weather to actually grow bananas.)
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To: John Semmens

John, must be getting tougher and tougher to do parody with real life as competition...


16 posted on 01/10/2009 9:43:00 PM PST by aquila48
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To: John Semmens
In related news, it has been disclosed that Barack’s 71-year-old mother-in-law, Marian Robinson, will be residing with him and his family in the White House. “I’m going to keep an eye on him and try to make sure he doesn’t go smoking crack or hang out with hoodlums like he did in Chicago,” Robinson declared. “After all, he is president now and a lot more people will be out to make him look bad and bring him down.”

Ohhh. That's gonna leave a mark. HeHe.

17 posted on 01/10/2009 9:55:13 PM PST by uptoolate (Shhh. If you listen real hard, God is speaking to America.)
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To: John Semmens

” hard economic times”

Or flaccid.

“Massa’s boast wasn’t true to the facts, though. The 282-mile distance between the congressman’s district and Washington exceeds the 200-mile range of the car and there are no refueling locations along the way. The trip was managed by abandoning the first car in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and continuing in a second identical car. Both fuel-cell cars ultimately had to be towed back to their points of origin.”

:D


18 posted on 01/10/2009 11:16:56 PM PST by Impy (RED=COMMUNIST, NOT REPUBLICAN)
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To: fieldmarshaldj; AuH2ORepublican; Clintonfatigued

Don’t forgot this is truth mixed satire but it mentions goofball Eric Massa who needs to be a one-termer. I think the 29th held and was the only NYseat to support McStain despite Kuhl losing.

He really did take a fuel-cell prototype car to DC and needed to switch cars cause it couldn’t get all the way there. Obviously GM owns his ass.


19 posted on 01/10/2009 11:24:14 PM PST by Impy (RED=COMMUNIST, NOT REPUBLICAN)
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To: John Semmens

Well done!

As usual.


20 posted on 01/11/2009 5:33:37 AM PST by WayneS (Respect the 2nd Amendment; Repeal the 16th)
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To: John Semmens

Great satire - thanks for a much needed laugh this morning!

Look forward to more of your ‘serious nooz’....

Trouble


21 posted on 01/11/2009 5:42:02 AM PST by imintrouble
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To: John Semmens
Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis and Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt say they have sent letters to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Representative Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) asking for $5 billion.

Geeeez, at least Playboy had an interview with Milton Friedman.

22 posted on 01/11/2009 11:38:02 AM PST by mcar
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To: John Semmens
CNN Explains Inclusion of Sarah Palin in List of 2008’s Disgraced Politicians

Since they later removed Palin from the list, there is an opportunity to expand this article to explain why they included her and then removed her from the list.

Does anybody have the old cached web page that included Palin among the "disgraced?"

23 posted on 01/11/2009 2:05:59 PM PST by ding_dong_daddy_from_dumas (I want to "Buy American" but the only things for sale made in the USA are politicians)
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To: John Semmens
Personally, I think we need to nationalize the porn industry.
(Oh, never mind. We already have that. It's called CONGRESS.)
24 posted on 01/11/2009 3:23:03 PM PST by smokingfrog (Never underestimate the influence of a wife who bitch-slaps her husband in public.)
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To: John Semmens

There’s never a shortage of material for you! DC is just a laugh a minute.


25 posted on 01/11/2009 8:49:16 PM PST by abigailsmybaby (Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.)
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To: John Semmens

LOL!

I had wondered what you would do with this topic.
‘Cuz I knew you would do something. ;o)

“CNN spokesperson Bea Smurch”

Ha! That’s excellent!


26 posted on 01/12/2009 4:21:56 PM PST by dixiechick2000 (Tagline lost due to the lack of a bailout.)
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To: John Semmens

that’s a lot of blow...


27 posted on 01/16/2009 6:05:43 PM PST by Ancient Drive (will)
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