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Psychologist Discovers “Anti-Socialist Personality Disorder”
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 8 March 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/11/2009 11:27:07 AM PDT by John Semmens

In a bid to marginalize criticism of the massive expansion of government emerging from the Obama Administration, professors at Harvard’s “Third Conference on Law and Mind Sciences” presented evidence for what they dubbed “anti-socialist personality disorder.”

In one paper titled “The Palliative Function of Ideology,” Ph.D. candidate Jaime Napier from NYU postulated that the self-reported higher levels of personal happiness of conservatives was, in itself, a sign of serious mental illness. “In a world wallowing in poverty and oppression, angst and neurosis are the healthy responses,” Napier wrote. “Liberals manifest a robust magnitude of both angst and neurotic tendencies in their responses to our surveys of mental attitudes.”

“Conservatives, on the other hand, are deficient in this area,” Napier observed. “Their focus on family, faith, and career is systemically pathological given the over all state of the world. Therapy is indicated.”

The characterization of disagreeable political ideas as a mental illness is reminiscent of the old Soviet Union practice of labeling its dissenters as deranged and incarcerating them in hospitals for treatment.

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: Education; Humor; Politics; Science
KEYWORDS: academia; comicrelief; communism; communistgoals; freepun; liberalmarxist; marxiststudent; neurosis; psychiatry; satire; socialism
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1 posted on 03/11/2009 11:27:08 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

That’s me.


2 posted on 03/11/2009 11:27:40 AM PDT by IbJensen (In 2008, Americans foolishly used their freedom to vote for “chains” not “change.”)
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To: John Semmens

I finally have a victim status.

YaaaaHoooo.

You don’t know how long I have waited.

These satirical stories are great.


3 posted on 03/11/2009 11:30:07 AM PDT by pennyfarmer (Shiite Muslim named Bob.)
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To: John Semmens

Love to see the DU thread on this. :)


4 posted on 03/11/2009 11:30:48 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: John Semmens

Yeah! I always wanted to be neurotic! *smiling* :D


5 posted on 03/11/2009 11:30:52 AM PDT by txnativegop (God Bless America! (NRA-Endowment))
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To: John Semmens

(PH.d candidate)....”postulated that the self-reported higher levels of personal happiness of conservatives was, in itself, a sign of serious mental illness.”

Lol! Talk about CLEAR evidence for watered-down education....


6 posted on 03/11/2009 11:31:15 AM PDT by SumProVita (Cogito, ergo...Sum Pro Vita. (Modified DeCartes))
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To: John Semmens

Sounds like the rationalization of a collectivist with his hands out.


7 posted on 03/11/2009 11:31:37 AM PDT by mnehring
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To: pennyfarmer

YooHooo!!!

I can finally let go of ALL my responsibilities !!


8 posted on 03/11/2009 11:32:37 AM PDT by Be_Politically_Erect (All Along The Watchtower.)
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To: SumProVita

Of COURSE this type of satire REALLY exists in the minds of the Democrat fringe....


9 posted on 03/11/2009 11:32:53 AM PDT by SumProVita (Cogito, ergo...Sum Pro Vita. (Modified DeCartes))
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To: John Semmens

And there it is, time and again....

Wrong becomes right and right becomes wrong.

Isaiah 5: 20-24
“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes And clever in their own sight! Woe to those who are heroes in drinking wine And valiant men in mixing strong drink,Who justify the wicked for a bribe, And take away the rights of the ones who are in the right! Therefore, as a tongue of fire consumes stubble And dry grass collapses into the flame, So their root will become like rot and their blossom blow away as dust; For they have rejected the law of the LORD of hosts And despised the word of the Holy One of Israel”


10 posted on 03/11/2009 11:33:12 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. And SOON!!!)
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To: IbJensen

Is there exclusivity on this one, do you have first dibs?


11 posted on 03/11/2009 11:33:20 AM PDT by Attention Surplus Disorder (Mr. Bernanke, have you started working on your book about the second GREATER depression?")
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To: John Semmens
How does this effect me as a functioning psychopath?
12 posted on 03/11/2009 11:35:11 AM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: John Semmens

The best satire is always conservative.


13 posted on 03/11/2009 11:35:27 AM PDT by Crazieman (Feb 7, 2008 http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1966675/posts?page=28#28)
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To: John Semmens

Ph.D. candidate Jaime Napier from NYU postulated that the self-reported higher levels of personal happiness of conservatives was, in itself, a sign of serious mental illness......

I’m so damn happy that liberals are so damn miserable!


14 posted on 03/11/2009 11:36:39 AM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: John Semmens

I can stop ANYTIME I WANT!


15 posted on 03/11/2009 11:37:07 AM PDT by Dallas59 ("You know the one with the big ears? He might be yours, but he ain't my president.")
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To: John Semmens
Liberals manifest a robust magnitude of both angst and neurotic tendencies in their responses

Well, he got that part right.

16 posted on 03/11/2009 11:42:37 AM PDT by Clock King (Radical Conservatives, arise!)
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To: John Semmens

With this new diagnosis,Anti-Soicialist Anonymous Groups are bound to be popping up in communities all across the land.


17 posted on 03/11/2009 11:43:00 AM PDT by gitmogrunt (The stupidity of the American people never ceases to amaze me.)
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To: John Semmens

Finally! Someone can diagnose my ‘condition’! LOL!


18 posted on 03/11/2009 11:50:36 AM PDT by RushIsMyTeddyBear (Obama dozed.....people froze.)
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To: gitmogrunt

they’ve been around for a long time, look for places that say CHURCH or GUN RANGE on their signs.


19 posted on 03/11/2009 11:51:14 AM PDT by absolootezer0 (thank God for Chicago: makes Detroit look wholesome by comparison.)
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To: gitmogrunt

I assume Federal funding will be available to our new group?


20 posted on 03/11/2009 11:51:15 AM PDT by Ballygrl
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To: John Semmens
Satire........

But believable..........

21 posted on 03/11/2009 11:53:17 AM PDT by Osage Orange (Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. -Will Rogers)
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To: John Semmens
Hey: I'm depraved on account of I'm deprived!

Dear....kindly Harvard worker,
You think that I'm a putz,
I oughta love Obama,
Instead I think he's nuts.
It's not I'm anti-social,
I'm only anti-theft,
Glory Osky, that's why I hate the Left!

22 posted on 03/11/2009 12:00:42 PM PDT by andy58-in-nh (You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.)
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To: Ballygrl
"I assume Federal funding will be available to our new group?

If we are defined as a new "victim group", there my be a slim chance.

23 posted on 03/11/2009 12:16:55 PM PDT by gitmogrunt (The stupidity of the American people never ceases to amaze me.)
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To: John Semmens

Liberal study concludes that conservative joy “passeth all understanding”.


24 posted on 03/11/2009 12:36:52 PM PDT by GOP Jedi (Democracy, Immigration, Multiculturalism -- Pick Any Two)
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To: John Semmens

bttt


25 posted on 03/11/2009 12:49:34 PM PDT by Freedom Dignity n Honor (There are permanent moral truths.)
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To: John Semmens

Did he say this for real?
If so, Y’all better, as they say down here, WAKE THE HELL UP..

US Army Stocking Up on Riot Gear & Training

... The President— has said ——he will take-— whatever action -—he ——deems necessary ——to see that this doesn’t happen. He— will not-— be-— deterred-— by -—formalistic -—notions regarding ——freedom of speech or ———assembly ———that may conflict -——with his ——intent to transform—— this country.”

US Army Stocking Up on Riot Gear & Training

The federal government is budgeting funds for an anticipated “hot summer” of domestic unrest.

“With the likes of Limbaugh, Santelli, Cramer and others stirring up trouble with their repeated expressions of disrespect toward the President, we’ve got to be prepared,” said the President’s Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs. “We cannot tolerate any destabilizing demonstrations of disloyalty during these times of severe economic crisis.”

Gibbs warned that “the army has been training assiduously for this sort of contingency since day-one of this Administration. There is an old saying from World War II that ‘loose lips sink ships.’ Well, we cannot afford to allow the loose lips of talk radio to sink the American ship of state. The President has said he will take whatever action he deems necessary to see that this doesn’t happen. He will not be deterred by formalistic notions regarding freedom of speech or assembly that may conflict with his intent to transform this country.”


26 posted on 03/11/2009 1:38:42 PM PDT by triSranch (Live from the Birthplace and Deathbed of the Confederacy)
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To: John Semmens

Yes, and I have a very bad case of it, so steer clear.


27 posted on 03/11/2009 1:49:31 PM PDT by debboo (Stop socialism, vote conservative)
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To: John Semmens; Rennes Templar; LexBaird; lowbridge; trooprally; Larry Lucido; Charles Henrickson; ...

PRICELESS!


the self-reported higher levels of personal happiness of conservatives was, in itself, a sign of serious mental illness. “In a world wallowing in poverty and oppression, angst and neurosis are the healthy responses,” Napier wrote. “Liberals manifest a robust magnitude of both angst and neurotic tendencies in their responses to our surveys of mental attitudes.”

“Conservatives, on the other hand, are deficient in this area,”



I'm reminded of a song from 20+ years ago, the refrain had a line something like,

"Up Against The Wall, (Happy Bitter Clinging) Redneck Mothers"


$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$


Time for some Comic Relief/Let's Ridicule The Left! Ping

Pun for All and All for Pun....
Funners & Punners &
Photoshoppers & Parodies Ping!

(see keyword FReePun)
If you want either on or off
this family-safe occasional ping list,
you must be out of your minds....


Let me know of any appropriate candidate threads.
I don't ping the list to threads that are sacreligious or tacky or seem likely to become so.
(on or off requests: FReepmail, enclosing a nominal $217.95 list processing fee).

28 posted on 03/11/2009 5:33:05 PM PDT by The Spirit Of Allegiance (Public Employees: Honor Your Oaths! Defend the Constitution from Enemies--Foreign and Domestic!)
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To: John Semmens
The Soviet Union already went here.

This makes my tagline even more relevant.

29 posted on 03/11/2009 5:41:08 PM PDT by Lazamataz ("We beat the Soviet Union, then we became them." -- Lazamataz, 2005)
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To: John Semmens

Is there a pill for that?

/sarc


30 posted on 03/11/2009 5:45:08 PM PDT by Danae (Amerikan Unity My Ass)
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To: John Semmens; glock rocks; SouthTexas; NormsRevenge; Grampa Dave; SierraWasp; fish hawk
“Conservatives, on the other hand, are deficient in this area,” Napier observed. “Their focus on family, faith, and career is systemically pathological given the over all state of the world. Therapy is indicated.

In as much as I am the only FReeper suffering this malady I volunteered and started my therapy today by opening a new bottle of Bob's Really Good Red at 5:00PM Dago time...

31 posted on 03/11/2009 5:45:24 PM PDT by tubebender (99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name...)
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To: Just another Joe

LMAO

Just don’t mix your meds.... ;)


32 posted on 03/11/2009 5:46:54 PM PDT by Danae (Amerikan Unity My Ass)
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To: John Semmens
That's funny, I had to read it twice before I noticed that it was anti-social-IST disorder.

Yes, that's me, too.

33 posted on 03/11/2009 5:49:03 PM PDT by Eva (CHANGE- the post modern euphemism for Marxist revolution.)
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To: John Semmens; The Spirit Of Allegiance
I always wondered what was wrong with me and how long they would take to come up with a label. But then, you can't apply the label because then you end up with some other syndrome where you live up to the label. so they give you a label and you have to pretend you don't know the label? it is all rather confusing, but now that it has been clarified I might sleep a little easier knowing I have a label that I am supposed to ignore which labels the tendencies I have had throughout my life, or what they would like to label as tendencies.......

::grin:: Do I talk to much? Does that follow the label? ::Laughing::

34 posted on 03/11/2009 5:58:52 PM PDT by MountainFlower (There but by the grace of God go I.)
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To: John Semmens

I’m checking into the wacky ranch tomorrow.


35 posted on 03/11/2009 6:00:12 PM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (I voted Republican because no Conservatives were running.)
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To: John Semmens

I guess I should become an angry liberal. I hate straight jackets


36 posted on 03/11/2009 6:05:30 PM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (I voted Republican because no Conservatives were running.)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance

Priceless? I doubt it! I’m sure that, one way or the other, we paid plenty for this idiocy.


37 posted on 03/11/2009 6:09:11 PM PDT by ApplegateRanch (Obama won, America's done!)
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To: AdmSmith; Berosus; Convert from ECUSA; dervish; Ernest_at_the_Beach; Fred Nerks; george76; ...
Ph.D. candidate Jaime Napier from NYU postulated that the self-reported higher levels of personal happiness of conservatives was, in itself, a sign of serious mental illness... The characterization of disagreeable political ideas as a mental illness is reminiscent of the old Soviet Union practice of labeling its dissenters as deranged and incarcerating them in hospitals for treatment.
What about hoping that President Bush is assassinated? Is that healthy, Napier, you POS?
38 posted on 03/11/2009 6:13:35 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/____________________ Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance

Whoops, and thanks The Spirit Of Allegiance for the ping.


39 posted on 03/11/2009 6:15:05 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/____________________ Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance

"Liberals manifest a robust magnitude of both angst and neurotic tendencies in their responses to our surveys of mental attitudes.”

That part is true. However, we probably would disagree with the diagnosis of the causes. Unmarried women who have had abortions would exhibit higher levels of neurosis and mental disturbance and there would be more of these among liberals. Children who grew up without fathers would also be more likely to seek co-dependent relationships with an all-powerful Nanny State. It's not like it all comes from compassion or an altruistic concern for others. In the case of liberal hysteria, they would also need to check and compare estrogen levels.

This is psychopolitics.

40 posted on 03/11/2009 6:19:44 PM PDT by HowlinglyMind-BendingAbsurdity
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To: MountainFlower












I'm ignoring you.... ; ^ )
41 posted on 03/11/2009 6:26:09 PM PDT by The Spirit Of Allegiance (Public Employees: Honor Your Oaths! Defend the Constitution from Enemies--Foreign and Domestic!)
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To: SunkenCiv

Snicker....


42 posted on 03/11/2009 6:31:53 PM PDT by tubebender (99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name...)
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To: John Semmens
Is a personality disorder good enough to use as an insanity defence in a mass homicide case? I'm pretty sure I can worth up a world record killing spree in Ithaca, NY, or the Chicago City Council...

It is a long drive, tho...

43 posted on 03/11/2009 6:41:24 PM PDT by jonascord (Hey, we have the Constitution. What's to worry about?)
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To: txnativegop
Yeah! I always wanted to be neurotic!

No, no, no - you are NOT neurotic, and that is why you are mentally ill.

Dear Lord, how much worse will it get?

44 posted on 03/11/2009 6:42:33 PM PDT by 70times7 (Serving Free Republic's warped and obscure humor needs since 1999)
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To: tubebender

Did you know that “Napier” is the name of the Joker in Batman before he was the Joker? LOL


45 posted on 03/11/2009 6:44:02 PM PDT by fish hawk (The Golden Calf you worship will not bail you out!)
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To: Girlene

You were (all) right... :-)


46 posted on 03/11/2009 6:47:09 PM PDT by bigheadfred (Negromancer !!! RUN for your lives !!!)
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To: John Semmens

Thank God it’s you! For a moment I believed this was real!

I wonder if they will ever categorize “Barking Moonbat Disorder.”


47 posted on 03/11/2009 6:50:07 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: fish hawk
And did you know that Reiper is Napier spelled backwards? Giggle...
48 posted on 03/11/2009 6:52:53 PM PDT by tubebender (99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name...)
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To: 70times7

Much, much, worse, unfortunately. ;)


49 posted on 03/11/2009 6:53:49 PM PDT by txnativegop (God Bless America! (NRA-Endowment))
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To: fish hawk
Did you know that “Napier” is the name of the Joker in Batman before he was the Joker?

You sure? I woulda sworn it was Ledger.

50 posted on 03/11/2009 7:20:19 PM PDT by ApplegateRanch (Obama won, America's done!)
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