Posted on 03/25/2009 7:26:37 AM PDT by Notoriously Conservative
I don't know the status of parenting in America. But I know a little about the status of education in America. Parents' growing inability to impose manners and limits on their kids when the kids are in school is reflected in record dropout rates, as well as teen drug and alcohol abuse, teen sex, and unwed pregnancies. Maybe it's parenting that's on the decline, more than the schools.
Exhibit A: My wife and I have just been seated for dinner when the maitre d' walks over and seats a young family at the table next to us and the kids start carrying on like orangutans on a leash.
The parents are going, "Timmy, that's not nice, don't throw your food, stop stuffing your mashed potatoes up your nose." Are mom and dad having fun yet, picking food up off the floor, apologizing to people like us, and wiping food flung across the table off their faces?
Some parents still have this attitude that their kids are too special to be burdened by discipline. And the rest of us are supposed to put up with their little mutants. That attitude really pisses me off.
I hate to break it to them, but the kids aren't special, and I don't have to put up with their behavior. If you can't control your obnoxious little brats, leave them home.
They don't belong out in public annoying other people, period. I don't remember a generation of kids ever so indulged and enabled to behave so badly. What's going on?
I remember as a kid I was expected to behave myself out in public or suffer the wrath of one very angry father. And of all the things that used to piss him off, those expectations didn't seem unreasonable. Something's gone terribly wrong here. My guess is it has to do...
(Excerpt) Read more at notoriouslyconservative.com ...
:)
“Wait til your father gets home” is all I had to hear....
My brother, a recent transplant from So. Cal, is always commenting on how remarkably well mannered kids are in restaurants and other public places here in the heart of Jesusland. It simply astonishes him.
Us ig’nert hillbillies still give the lil’ darlings a swat on the behind iffin they act up. They catch on quick.
You had to wait? Mom whipped my ass, and then dad did it again when I got home. Two lines, no waiting.
Good article.Until parents stop being their kids’ “buddies” and start being their parents,this is going to get worse and worse.
I don’t get it.
Darn kids, get off my lawn! Back in my day, blah blah blah...
It takes about a year or two to get kids to that stage. I punish my kids when they openly misbehave, but under 3 kids are constantly trying to convey something to their parents because speech hasn’t developed sufficiently yet. (I’m not gonna beat my 2 year old senseless to make you comfortable.) They’re getting much better as they get older. Parenting is about patience.
I know I’m doing something right, all of the teachers, even the ones they don’t like say, “They are the most pleasant, easy-going, respectful kids in the class.”
Lol.
One of the major problems that wasn’t raised it the ‘authority’ given children by our government and the courts. Many parents are fearful that if they do discipline, their children will turn on them. Children today know their ‘rights’ and aren’t sheepish about using them.
Just wondering, does the NotriouslyConservative guy have kids?
I don’t think memories from our own childhood are always accurate. While we may remember fearing our parents, our parents may remember us acting like pistols, just like the “modern” kids he describes.
hear hear
My 19 year old son just thanked me this morning. He said he appreciated me not being overbearing and trusting him to do the right thing.
It wasn’t always like that. He learned about firm unapproachable boundaries when he was very young, and to this day his father wouldn’t tolerate his showing the least bit of disrespect to me.
Most importantly, he has been taught to fear the ever present Lord. Once that lesson is learned, the parents have half their work done.
this guy is off base. When my kids misbehaved in public like that, i did not hesitate to crack them in the behind if necessary, and I would also scold them in public if their behavior warranted it. Each child only acted out of line in public once or twice. After that they were well behaved, and they all turned out well. The problem is the fact that this guy states that spanking and scolding in public is unacceptable. The authors own words betray him as a closet lib....
Yes I have a son, and no, I didn’t write the article.
BINGO! We have a winner. Great post!
I’m with you on swat on the behind. The problem is now a days they will put you in jail for that.I know it is stupid but that is what happens especially in a public place.It all has to start early in life .One good little spanking when they miss behave and as the get older they really don’t want that .After a while all you have to do is lift your eyebrow.
Just you wait till I find my teeth, young’un...
Seriously, doesn’t every generation say this about the next? I have it on authority that my Dad was a HOLY TERROR as a kid, but apparently he was the only one. All other kids growing up during that time period were saints, begotten by bigger saints that like to beat them with bricks, and that’s the way you do it. Why, we had to eat gravel and beans twice a day and you know what? WE LOVED IT.
etc, etc, etc...
I absolutely go batty when I’m in a store and Mommy says something like:
“Time to go Timmy! Let’s go. (all said in a lilting tone). Let’s go! Come on! I’ll count to 3 — 1-2-—— let’s go. We have to leave! Come on — I’m leaving at the count of 3! 1-2-3 -— Let’s go! Timmy -— we have to leave!” etc,etc,etc————
AARRGGGGHHHH!
Kids need/want limits! It is a real pleasure, when in a restaurant, and the kids behave. In any adult situation, and the kids behave, brings compliments from me.
Hey, did I write that??
I'm not sure of the age of the children to which the article refers, but you're correct. I have three kids - 9, almost 3, and 18 months. A parent obviously can't hold the 18 month old to the same standard as the 9 year old.
Now... if the article is talking about 4-5 year olds, that's another story entirely.
Ping to one of our conversation topics.
I can’t say I did things perfectly, but they did behave in public. It only took one outburst and they were taken directly home. It only took one time to be taken home in the middle of an activity. I’m not saying they were not hell on wheels at home, but in public they knew if they wanted to continue with the trip or meal they better keep it together. The look on their face as they were rooted from the scene was priceless.
So let me ask a question. If you suspected your kid was going to act out, would you take them to a decent restaurant?
My kids ate at home for much of their early years. I also found that mothers were more likely to take their animals....er children to public places where they could act out. Generally: Men expect discipline from their kids. Women expect tolerance from others. Not all the time but as a rule.
It’s a short throw from “He’s a child. What do you expect?” to “The policeman should have tried to just wound him”.
I had 3 boys (stair steps, they were all around 2 years apart). I took them places by myself even when they were at the toddler stage. They behaved. If my 2 year old was crying and annoying people, I removed him from the situation. The fact that I decided to be a parent should not have been a burden on anyone else.
I never had to beat them senseless.
Taking care of my Dad who is in his 90s now is the best way I can thank him for kicking me in the ass when I needed it.
I didn't know what Bab-o was at the time...but I knew I didn't want whatever it was it wouldn't wash off.
To dinoparty: As far as our memories compared to their's...to some extent I agree...but I think if you look at society as a whole...and the lack of respect shown by kids...a greater % of kids (by far) are disrespectful little monsters today than they were 30 years ago.
I also think it isn't just kids but young adults. They don't respect clergy or law enforcement officials like they used to. We are teaching today's kids that it is all about them...and that they need to do what makes them happy. It's not...and they don't.
Of course, I raised my kids a few years back, but I didn’t really have to spank them in public. They got the look, and they knew they were in it big. I think it’s what you do at home that really guides their behavior in public.
I have to say the thing I hate most to hear is parents BEGGING their children, or asking in a passive voice things like “Don’t you think you should stop doing (whatever it is their doing)?” Small children learn very quickly whose in charge. If it’s them, you are sunk.
My daughter is in college and still talks about “the look” I would give them if they were getting a bit out of hand. I had no idea “the look” really worked that well. But my daughter did a little babysitting in the church nursery and said one child was wild and always upsetting everyone and she tried “the look” on him and it worked.....
It really does seem worse now. And interestingly, I have friends who teach preschool who say that the past several years EVERY year the kids coming in are worse than the year before. I think the problem is a culture that focuses on kids so much.
When I was a kid (I’m going on 49) both my parents didn’t hestitate to smack me if I acted up. My dad also had his belt-although merely unbuckling it-as a warning- usually sufficed.
I went to Cleveland Public Schools-many of the elem. school teachers would shake the hell out of you-one or two would slap the snot out of you. In Jr. High almost all the teachers had paddles, and if you did something-even for not paying attention-you got swatted.
I lived in a fairly poor, fairly tough area, so it was fairly common to get in a fistfight-on the playground or after school-and I wasn’t a bully or a victim-those two groups got in a lot more fights.
The kicker is-at 17, after graduation, I joined the Marine Corps. Before I left for Parris Island, relatives, former teachers, buddies, all said “Hey , you sure you want to do that? It’s a mighty tough life in the Marines”
I said “Hell, they’re Going to pay me $419 (*) a month-I’ve been giving it away for free!”
(*) before taxes
The author is clueless! First he laments the lack of discipline in children today, and then he says spanking isn't acceptable!!
Obviously a Spockian bozo.
Naturally, if I thought they were going to act out, I wouldn’t take them out in public.
However, once in public, with kids under 3, it’s a crapshoot. If I can’t get the situation under control I take them out of the establishment. At that age, it’s the absolute most you can do. Comprehension is the key, and kids under 3 just haven’t developed enough yet.
I don't know about anyone else, but I won't put up with that type of misbehavior from my own obnoxious little brat at home, let alone in public.
We're not perfect parents, and our child is no angel, but I am perfectly comfortable taking her out in public, knowing that we have at least instilled decent "public" manners in her.
Totally agree. I live in yuppieland where the moms don’t care and the dads think their only job in life is work so they, too, ignore their children. There are many restaurants we don’t go to because of the out of control kids.
I think my kids were switched at the hospitals.... my kids have been pretty easy to raise so there is no way they have any of my genes in them. ;^)
I concur with you on this. There does come a point in the establishment where you have to decide when enough is enough, otherwise you will never finish your meal as an adult, especially with toddlers.
I've been called “heartless” by a neighbor for doing exactly what you said. I've been told that my boys won't learn from their mistakes if they aren't “allowed” to make any by this same neighbor.
Perhaps if both his daughters hadn't been “allowed” to drop out of high school after giving birth to biracial babies, I might consider and seek his counsel. My DH has come very close to telling said neighbor to take a hike, but his manners have kicked in before he did.
They are never unsupervised. They are praised for doing things correctly, punished for doing things incorrectly.
Lots of love. Lots of discipline. Tolerance and education from their mom, stern discipline in between playtime with their dad.
Play. Education. Love. Discipline. Dependable daily routine (same bedtime, same wakeup time, same school time, same play time, same meal-time, etc.).
I love ‘em and they're worth it. I pity those parents who miss out on all of the above.
Kids act out because they are trying to get parents to act like parents, instead of like wusses or puddles of ooze.
Show public love *and* discipline to your kids...give your kids people and things (e.g. routine) that they can reliably depend upon, and everyone will turn out alright...even the parents.
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