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Court Cancels Offshore Drilling Program
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 18 April 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/19/2009 4:55:29 PM PDT by John Semmens

The Washington Federal Appeals Court ruled that the Bush administration did not properly study the environmental impact of expanding oil and gas drilling off the Alaska coast and canceled the program aimed at finding new reserves.

“The Bush Administration’s contention that the needs of humans outweigh the needs of aquatic life off the Alaskan coast is unsubstantiated,” wrote Judge Terra Greene for the court. “Up to this point, humans have thrived without accessing these oil resources. This presents a prima facie case that they will continue to do so without extracting the oil.”

The court instructed the Interior Department to “devise a formula that equitably balances the interests of all parties. The human desire for inexpensive fuel must be laid against the rights of fish to swim undisturbed, plants to grow without interference, and the earth itself not to suffer puncture and the siphoning off of its fluids.”

“I can’t conceive how such a formula could be devised and stand up to our scrutiny,” Greene opined. “But until it is we cannot allow drilling to proceed.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Outdoors
KEYWORDS: bhoenergy; ecology; energy; environment; offshoredrilling

1 posted on 04/19/2009 4:55:29 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I don’t see the satire!


2 posted on 04/19/2009 4:57:57 PM PDT by PGR88
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To: John Semmens

I just don’t get how courts got power to do certain things, its very weird.


3 posted on 04/19/2009 4:59:11 PM PDT by GeronL (TYRANNY SENTINEL. http://tyrannysentinel.blogspot.com)
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To: PGR88
I don’t see the satire!

Neither did I until I read your comment. I was just thinking "Welcome to life in Obama/Insane Congress/Maniacal Judge Land".

4 posted on 04/19/2009 5:04:26 PM PDT by Minn (Here is a realistic picture of the prophet: ----> ([: {()
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To: John Semmens

“I can’t conceive how such a formula could be devised and stand up to our scrutiny,” Greene opined. “But until it is we cannot allow drilling to proceed.”

I don’t care who you are...that thar’s funny...


5 posted on 04/19/2009 5:05:09 PM PDT by stefanbatory (Do you want a President or a King?)
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To: stefanbatory

Fish gotta swim... Birds gotta fly.

Lets ban those nasty windmills while we are at it

Birds gotta fly... Plants gotta soak up the sun.

Lets also ban those pesky solar cells.


6 posted on 04/19/2009 5:19:02 PM PDT by Pikachu_Dad
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To: John Semmens

some one needs to eliminate these assholes...


7 posted on 04/19/2009 5:21:42 PM PDT by The Wizard (DemonRATS: enemies of America)
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To: The Wizard
Follow the money, who funds the enviro movement....OPEC
Who does the enviro movement fund....the Democrats
8 posted on 04/19/2009 5:40:25 PM PDT by Rumplemeyer
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To: John Semmens

Oh this is nice. Can the courts justify how we lost rights to develop off Florida when Gasprom is heading that way to drill today?


9 posted on 08/31/2009 11:28:43 PM PDT by GWConservative (oil, energy)
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To: The Wizard

“someone” please do not use a firearm. be creative </sarc>


10 posted on 08/31/2009 11:30:27 PM PDT by GWConservative (oil, energy)
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To: PGR88
"I don’t see the satire!"

Judge Terra Greene??? Sounds like she was named by an enviro-weenie!!!

11 posted on 08/31/2009 11:40:14 PM PDT by liberateUS
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