Skip to comments.Kennedy Request to Be Buried at Sea Blocked by EPA
Posted on 08/29/2009 1:13:04 PM PDT by John Semmens
The late Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass) had requested that he be buried at sea. While such requests normally are honored, this one was vetoed by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).
The key sticking point was the Senators request that his coffin be a 1967 Oldsmobile Delmont 88. Those familiar with the Chappaquiddick incident may recognize this as the car that the Senator drove off a bridge in 1969 on the way to an extramarital tryst with a young campaign volunteer named Mary Jo Kopechne in the car with him. Ms. Kopechne was trapped in the submerged car for several hours and died of suffocation while Senator Kennedy took steps trying to build a false alibi and conferring with lawyers and political advisors.
Of course, it was the nations great loss when the Chappaquiddick incident was exploited by the Senators political opponents to deny him his presidential destiny. And while granting this burial request would seem the least we could do for this outstanding American, we cannot permit the negative environmental impact that would result if it were carried out as presently conceived, said EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson. Instead of contributing to polluting the ocean, we recommend that the Senator be composted and returned to the soil as fertilizer. That way he can go out on a high note.
Waiting for the first joke about rising sea levels....
That be no man...that be Mobey Dick.
No need to compost him. He was conceived in the bowels.
I’m still going with an open pit cremation at Groom Lake. Bill Clinton signed the executive order that allows the burning of toxic materials there.
“stinking whale of a problem...” That’s our Teddy.
Out of the park John
As Fred Flintsone would say, “Droll ... VERY Droll ...”.
When they bury Kennedy in the family plot at Arlington, those Scotch fumes rising from the new grave will be sufficient to fuel the `eternal flame’.
He should have been burried at sea....in a car.
I know this is satire but I think he should be buried in an old outhouse(or a new one if possible), head down. A POS should be buried with other POS.
"well, he wanted a burial at sea so I'm flushing him down the john."
"That's not going to work!"
"Why not, doesn't the sewer end up in the ocean?"
"No, you nimrod, we have a septic system."
"I know. heh heh heh heh"
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