Posted on 09/18/2009 8:48:24 AM PDT by erkyl
I have seen no less than a million of these "Housewife discovers teeth whitening secret ads on facebook and just about every single website with any advertising content on it. I refuse to pay any money to these shills by clicking on their ads, but my curiosity is getting the better of me. Has anyone out there actually found out what this stupid thing is and want to share so I can stop being freaked out by all the teeth on my computer screen?
Is anybody else experiencing these ads, or is it just targeting me and my aging, yellowing smile?
Krylon.
Nope. They are saturating the web.
I see those stupid ads all the time, all over the web.
This is the secret:
Go to an open space in the bright sunlight and drink a gallon of bleach. After you die (not you Erkyl), as your body rots, the calcium in your dead teeth will blanch in the sunlight.
It’s a slow process, but everything worthwhile takes time, right?
In moderate doses, H2O2 will do the trick.
Just be careful not to tear up your gums in the process!
Yup, H2O2. Just use it like a rinse after you brush. Hold it in your mouth for a minute or 2. As a bonus, it’s supposed to help keep your teeth healthy. You can read about it on the side of the h2o2 bottle.
I can see how that would solve all my problems...yellow teeth and a few too many extra pounds!
Clorox Bleach and Spackle
Well, I think If I see another “Obama wants moms to return to school,” or “Obama wants you to refinance” or the such type ads anymore, I’m going to explode.
See? It’ a win win.
Now let’s all go out there and have a positive day!
I’ve read that a mash of strawberries and baking soda does it pretty well. But I have no idea if that’s what’s on the ads.
Here’s the secret: veneers
Palmolive
Rustoleum, if you have braces.
They use the grossest looking teeth/mouths in those ads. I refuse to click on them.
Wear a dark shirt...
Well, I think If I see another “Obama wants moms to return to school,” or “Obama wants you to refinance” or the such type ads anymore, I’m going to explode.
‘0000’ grade steel wool
pay me 10 bucks and I’ll tell ya.....
okay, I did click through once a few months ago. IIRC, it gave info about how to get trial sizes of two different teeth whiteners and how to use each of them.
Like I said, it’s been a few months since I looked at this, so I don’t remember the products or how they were supposed to be alternated. The link at the time also gave more links on how to request the free samples, but I felt there was too much info being requested to pursue it further...
Vodka
Photoshop.
Stay away from their lowball free trial offers....
they suck you in and read small print because they sign you up automatically for monthly supplies at hefty prices. Sort of a scam—beware.
>> ‘0000’ grade steel wool
Ew... you get steel lint all in your mouth and stuff.
Couldn’t you just brush your teeth with a wire brush instead?
It’s a scam. The 2nd product asks for a different credit card number, so they get 2 of yours. The fine print says you pay them $75 a month after your $4.95 initial fee, unless you cancel within 14 days. Nobody wll be there to help you cancel. This is a total scam, just like President Obama. A complete scam.
Peroxide also makes an excellent astringent/toner. The mild oxidizing will lighten clogged pores; the antiseptic will help with healing of open lesions (pimples).
“Palmolive”
“You’re soaking in it.”
Madge
Your teeth look fine, to me.
Contrast is everything, just ask Al Jolson.
And after that, polish your teeth with a Dremel.
On a wet toothbrush dab on a little toothpaste and baking soda. Then add a few drops of hydrogen peroxide and quickly start brushing (front teeth first while foaming action is greatest) and keep the solution in your mouth long as possible. Helps brighten teeth...maybe not zoom white but does brighten smile somewhat and helps remove plaque too.
Don’t forget to floss as well.
LOL!
1 tsp baking soda
3 - 4 drops hydrogen peroxide
tiny pinch of salt
Yeah, dang it, and as long as we’re ranting about obnoxious ads, can I register a complaint about looking at someone’s gross, hairy belly every time I want some completely unrelated information, like the weather? Holy crap! The Before picture looks like something you’d see in a locker room for overweight truckers and the After picture isn’t really a whole lot better. Like I need that right before lunch? “Hey, kids, look at this disgusting, pendulous, furry lump of cellulite! Makes you want to puke, doesn’t it? Let me tell you the One Free Rule to follow so that what pops out from under your t-shirt doesn’t send nearby marsupials into estrus!” Great stuff with my morning coffee. Is there any freaking body function that isn’t going to get thrust into my face by some brain-dead marketeer? “Here’s my Free Advice on shrinking anal warts! Just look at that there Before picture! And there’s the After shot - just look at them little goobers, heck, you can hardly tell they’re there!” Maybe I shouldn’t give ‘em any ideas. < /rant >
“Couldn’t you just brush your teeth with a wire brush instead?”
You mean they make brushes for teeth? My wire brush is going on 30 years old. I’m not going to replace it with some faddish tooth brush.
>> My wire brush is going on 30 years old. I’m not going to replace it with some faddish tooth brush.
Yeah, UNlike your gums, those wire brushes last and last...
ROTFLMAO!!!
ROTFLMAO, again!!!
Paint your entire body coal black. Your teeth will blind people. ( I think I saw an ad like this.)
laughed so hard I got off stair master.
too funny
What an awful movie. The 70’s were so horrible.
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