Ousted Honduran President Sees Widespread Conspiracy

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 10 October 2009 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Former Honduran president Manuel Zelaya complained that a “broad coalition of conspirators collaborated in ousting me from my post.” The conspirators are alleged to include US right-wing politicians, the international Zionist cabal, and extraterrestrials.

“The hand of these nefarious agents can be seen in the manner of both my removal from office and in the continuing humiliation I am forced to endure,” Zelaya argued. “Rather than just having me shot by a military junta as is the time-honored custom in our part of the world, the conspiracy invoked constitutional procedures jointly endorsed by the court and legislature. Now I must endure the jeers of my countrymen instead of enjoying a heroic martyrdom.”

In addition to the jeers of his countrymen, Zelaya is said to be suffering from brain-melting Israeli death rays relayed via an alien spacecraft orbiting the Earth. “My only hope is that the great, wise and merciful Obama will rescue me from my misery,” Zelaya wailed.

The scope of the hoped for succor remains to be seen. President Obama has ordered the Honduran government to reinstate Zelaya as president. Thus far, the post-Zelaya government refuses to recognize President Obama’s authority in the matter. Whether the award of the Nobel Peace Prize to Obama will be sufficient to generate the desired obedience to his will is unknown.

[cranked]

I am really amazed that this man has not been taken out already....

[keithtoo]

OOOOOOO-KAAAYYYYYYYYY......

[Retain Mike]

People often maintain the United States abused its superpower position by overthrowing ostensibly representative governments. They contend the CIA cooperated with Britain’s MI6 to return the Shah to power and overthrow elected Prime Minister Mohammad Mossadegh of Iran, who later died in custody. They contend the CIA engineered assassination of elected South Vietnam President Ngo Dinh Diem. One site lists over 50 operations to overthrow foreign governments; often elected. This and other sites contend such actions were improper, even when motivated by Cold War national interests.

However, Barack Obama’s and Hilliary Clinton’s actions to annul the Democratic processes of Honduras receive praise and silence. Clinton sanctioned the country’s independent judiciary for legally adjudicating, enforcing, and directing public forces to remove President Zelaya from office. Clinton revoked visas of the 15 Honduran justices after they failed to disregard constitutional legal imperatives for preferred logics of countries seeking Zelaya’s return to power. Praise comes from dictators Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro. Silence comes from Democrat politicians and popular media.

Previously separation of powers and an independent judiciary were considered a central component of any Democracy. Supreme Court Justice Robert Jackson maintained Democracy must defend itself against others exploiting its tenets for destruction. The Honduran judges join Jackson in proclaiming inviolate boundaries must constrain an overreaching chief executive.

This transparent example of administration alliance with totalitarian aspirations, absent pressing U.S. interests, should provide sufficient warning of Obama’s policy motivations.

[Rabin]

Gratifying that our Vast Right Wing Conspiracy initiative with the Extra Terrestrials is taking root. If only our efforts with the nefarious agents could be similarly fruitful, sigh. Onward and upward.

R

[michgirl]

How bout taking the troops out of Afghanistan and sending them to South America to guard and restore dictatorships for our nobel peace prize winning and Alinsky worshiping change agent the high master Obamas???

[Republic_of_Secession.]

Folks this article is just satire though.

[KarlInOhio]

Zelaya went onto describe how the Discordian Society controls California, the Evil Geniuses for a Better Tommorow, the Yuppies (who in turn control the Men in Black) and the International Communist Conspiracy which controls both the Post Office and the Health Food Stores.

However, there are no Orbital Mind Control Lasers.

[Zack Attack]

Folks this article is just satire though.

And it will grow increasingly difficult to separate truth from fiction before sanity regains its proper place. :)

[Boogieman]

I kind of miss the days when conspiracy theorists kept it simple. Say I wanted to believe Zelaya, I would still left wondering who is really running the show. Aliens? Zionists? Right-wingers? Freemasons? International Bankers? Do they all meet together and have equal votes, or is there some hierarchy amongst the conspirators?

What if I wanted to join the conspiracy, which group would provide me the most upward mobility? I don’t want to join the Shriners so I can rule the world, only to find out after years of climbing the ladder that I will be stuck shining shoes for the Bilderbergers!

[Rabin]

Boog, we have been keeping an eye on you, and feel you could be of considerable value to the nefarious agents. Their time of need is near and our control of the venue is thin. Consideration is advised.

r

[rockinqsranch]

“I am really amazed that this man has not been taken out already....”

Who, John Semmens, or Zelaya? ;)

Thanks for the chuckle John.

[Gay State Conservative]

a broad coalition of conspirators collaborated in ousting me from my post.

Starting with your (former) country's Supreme Court,eh Comrade?

[Gay State Conservative]

Now I must endure the jeers of my countrymen instead of enjoying a heroic martyrdom.

Hey,give me a ticket to Honduras,get a taxi to take me to the Brazilian Embassy and I'll be *glad* to give you a great big dose of "martyrdom",Comrade.

[Gay State Conservative]

Folks this article is just satire though.

Ooops...didn't notice the source.However,the offer I made earlier still stands.For real!