Skip to comments.Obama Sends Kerry on Swift Boat Mission to Find Lost Jobs
Posted on 11/13/2009 9:17:11 AM PST by jerhad
As unemployment numbers continue to rise, and job losses mount, President Obama announced that he has assigned Senator John Kerry to go on a swift boat mission to find the missing jobs.
“I am honored to be selected for this task,” said Kerry. “As a Vietnam veteran and swift boat commander, I am the right man for the job. Senator Kerry, reporting for duty! I can remember clearly on Christmas day in 2008 listening to the radio while sitting in Canada and hearing President Bush say we weren’t losing jobs in Boston. Well, I was there. I could see the jobs we had already lost in Boston and knew he was lying. Not everyone will come back alive from this mission. We’ll be in dangerous areas like Detroit and Miami trying to recover these lost jobs. But we’ll find those jobs. We spent almost a trillion dollars and still have fewer jobs than before we spent the money. The jobs are there. Somewhere. And employers will have to pay for what they have done to those jobs. Employers I spoke to told stories at times about how they had personally raped the environment, cut off benefits, cut off department heads, taped wires from Blackberries to manager genitals and turned up the vibrate mode, cut off lunch breaks, blown up computers, randomly shot at employees, razed company divisions in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot middle managers and secretaries for fun, poisoned cafeteria food, and generally ravaged the company in addition to the normal ravage of business, and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied business power of these companies.”
Kerry will hire fifty personal sycophants.
Kerry will create positions for fifty personal sycophants.
How is Kerry going to find lost jobs? He doesn’t even know what they look like — he never had one.
... and hence he will have found the lost jobs.
Is he going to Viet Nam to look?
Kerry can’t find his a$$ with both hands.
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