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Mixed Marriage
The American Thinker ^ | November 14, 2009 | Carol Brown

Posted on 11/14/2009 3:05:10 AM PST by Scanian

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To: xsmommy

“that is what makes it work, then. i can see that being possible. but in the case of carville/matalin, presumably they are BOTH political, and BOTH ideologically committed, but on opposite sides of the coin. those are the relationships i can’t fathom.”

Male Liberal + Female Conservative will work. Generally Male Conservative + Female Liberal will not.

Male liberals like Carville generally respect conservative women, if for nothing more than that is what feminism teaches. They are not at odds with their position in the family, he will likely encourage her in her pursuits and she will do his.

The opposite cannot, and will not work. Why? There are fundamental differences in family roles. Male conservative wants a wife who stays and home, has kids. Female liberal wants none of these things. She will resent ‘conforming’ to the role, and the conservative man will get frustrated with his wife. Generally one or the other will move to the other position, or they will split.


21 posted on 11/14/2009 4:27:55 AM PST by BenKenobi
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To: xsmommy

It sounds to me like the lady simply “outgrew” her husband who isn’t going to change no matter what.

I think the issue is relevant for a lot of people because of all the activism that’s going on right now among conservatives, especially. People who have never gotten involved in politics before are going to tea parties, 9-12 meetings, etc. and showing tremendous passion for politics that many of their spouses aren’t going to share.


22 posted on 11/14/2009 4:29:27 AM PST by Scanian
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To: BenKenobi

“But my husband remains convinced that it helps argue against leftists to have been one at one point, because you know what they think and you know why they are wrong.”

I’m a converted liberal. I used to be a classical liberal, but I migrated into social conservativism while at university. Not only does it give you perspective and insight into the other side, it also makes you a more effective debator. I cannot fault anyone for making the same mistakes that I did, I feel it’s my job to show them the light.

I have plenty of friends on both sides of the spectrum. Me, I look at people. I don’t really care what your political persuasion is, but if you ask me, I’ll be glad to expound on the merits of my position. I have surprised many people, most assume that I’m a liberalm and ask, “how can you possibly be a conservative!”


23 posted on 11/14/2009 4:34:57 AM PST by BenKenobi
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To: BenKenobi
Male Liberal + Female Conservative will work.

work to the extent that he would HAVE her as a wife. but that still doesn't explain why a conservative woman who is ideologically committed would want any part of a man who had diametrically opposed views. That is the bottom line to me. I would not be ATTRACTED to a liberal man, because the ideology colors everything for me. For one thing, abortion would be a deal-breaker for me. i could never marry someone who doesn't share that very basic premise, that life is sacred.

24 posted on 11/14/2009 4:36:44 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: verga

If you are fortunate enough to be around civilized libs, which are becoming rare, or open-minded ones, which are even rarer, you might have a chance for a decent relationship and/or friendship. It sounds like you’ve been pretty lucky in that regard.

The nastiest libs are the kind who regard themselves as morally superior and insist on being judgmental toward conservatives. I can’t see any hope in dealing with that type.


25 posted on 11/14/2009 4:37:24 AM PST by Scanian
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To: BenKenobi

Most of our good friends are conservatives, though we have casual friends who are liberals. i am an anomaly in my office, though, and everyone knows it. Recently, a paralegal, whom i did not know was a conservative, came to talk to me about the gubernatorial election in VA. She seeks me out more and more for conversation now that we have “found” each other.


26 posted on 11/14/2009 4:40:34 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: Scanian
The nastiest libs are the kind who regard themselves as morally superior and insist on being judgmental toward conservatives. I can’t see any hope in dealing with that type.

I deal with one of those on a regular basis. He wants everyone to get along and he thinks that the best path is the "middle path"

I told him I wanted the differences painted with bold colors. I said lets look at abortion. I am against it in all shapes or forms. Liberals want it in all forms. The "Middle ground would be to ban partial birth abortions.

I told him that I have not "won" anything because there would still be legal abortions, and his side would still find ways to "legally encroach" and allow Partial birth abortions.

He just didn't get it, or maybe he does?

27 posted on 11/14/2009 4:52:00 AM PST by verga (I am not an apologist, I just play one on Television)
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To: Scanian
Generally, the best advice would be for your husband to get a lobotomy. If that is a bit extreme for you, have him watch Oprah and The View for 16 hours a day for a week to see if they can find any logical messages in the shows.
28 posted on 11/14/2009 4:55:25 AM PST by 1776 Reborn (Test kids and politicians (bigger idiots) on the Constitution!)
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To: xsmommy

As was I. I used to work as inventory control in a health food store. They wanted an outsider, because an outsider had no stake in the old system, and would do a better job of fixing things.

Everyone assumed I was liberal, except my boss, who knew full well where I stood. I am not a suit + tie kind of guy, Jeans and Tshirt work perfectly fine for me.

There were some conservatives there, particularly the manager, but it was the liberals who really liked me the most for whatever reason. I tend to have an easy time meeting up with liberal or moderate gals, but I’ve had no luck with the conservative ladies.


29 posted on 11/14/2009 5:06:35 AM PST by BenKenobi
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To: BenKenobi

well maybe because your conservatism is disguised, the conservative ladies are not aware that you are a conservative and hence are giving you a wide berth, thinking you a lib?


30 posted on 11/14/2009 5:09:53 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: BenKenobi

“Male conservative wants a wife who stays and home, has kids. Female liberal wants none of these things.”

Life is not that simple.

I am a conservative and looked for a partner strong enough to help keep me from misbehaving. I want her living up to her full potential just as she wants me living at my full potential. She stayed home when the kids were young, but when they started school full time, she resumed her career. If it were her choice to stay home, I would have supported her, but honestly, we would have both been miserable. Thankfully, although she is not political, she has good conservative thought patterns and actions.

We have good friends that are liberals. She is a Berkenstoc wearing, goat cheese making, tie-died in the woold liberal, who is a stay at home mom even though her kids are mostly raised.

We also have two sets of friends with conservative husbands and liberal wives. They all have been married over 40 years. One of the wives in particular is rabidly liberal and I have had some wild debates with her, but in the end, she is a loving person and much to my supprise, always greets me with smiles and hugs, ready to hold her ground but never instigating a battle. She dotes on her conservative husband, although I have noted, they do not seem to have political discussions between the spouses.


31 posted on 11/14/2009 5:59:28 AM PST by dangerdoc
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To: BenKenobi

I have surprised many people, most assume that I’m a liberalm and ask, “how can you possibly be a conservative!”


I assume everyone is liberal until proven innocent. lol


32 posted on 11/14/2009 6:00:27 AM PST by RaiderRose (Obama has cured my husband's political apathy.)
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To: BenKenobi
As far as I’m concerned, there are some non-negotiables, and we agree on those. Beyond that, if she wants to vote for Obama, I don’t care.

Those two sentences together are not rational if you are conservative.

33 posted on 11/14/2009 6:04:01 AM PST by USS Alaska (Nuke the terrorist savages - In Honor of Standing Wolf)
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To: Scanian

I used to be in one of these.

I met my sweetie online, via baseball. (Got him unbanned from his own team’s board. Don’t ask. lol)

Little did I know at the time he was a leftist wingnut.

It took him four months to even call me on the phone. Valentine’s Day. The call lasted 6 hours.

Despite being a lib, he maintained an open mind. We went from watching Larry King and Anderson Cooper to watching Fox, over the last few years.

He suddenly realized how he’d been “punk’d” all his life.

The Jewish faith (we’re both Catholic, btw) carries special weight to “converts.” Because the converts are the most truest of believers. In the Jewish faith, converts are treasured.

So it is with my sweetie. He turned his back on all the liberal colleges drilled into him. In so doing, he also turned his back on the opinions of his family. Because they had been indroctinated via Oxford, Harvard, and Stanford.

He has become more conservative then even I am. He now takes on friends, family and all....because he sees the light.

We can win this thing, once and for all. All we have to do is tell the truth.


34 posted on 11/14/2009 7:30:20 AM PST by Daisyjane69 (Michael Reagan: "Welcome back, Dad, even if you're wearing a dress and bearing children this time)
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To: BenKenobi
I’m a converted liberal.

What's your advice on communicating with holier-than-thou progressives? It's the ivy league educated, NGO, illegal immigrant advocates that are hardest to deal with.

The Taco Bell boycott tour is one example of progressive self-righteousness run amok. These people are unapproachable if you don't have like minded political credentials.

Any ideas?

35 posted on 11/14/2009 7:35:20 AM PST by x_plus_one (Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to have George Santayana quoted at them forever)
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To: Scanian
My wife of 31 years is an avowed liberal and things get testy during presidential elections. During the 2008 Presidential debates we each retreated to our separate TVs in different parts of the house, though she used her cell phone to harangue me from time to time. I cannot watch Fox News or listen to Rush in her presence, but we get along.
36 posted on 11/14/2009 7:59:06 AM PST by The Great RJ ("The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money." M. Thatcher)
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To: Scanian
I do not see how that could ever work. The principles, ethics, and vision for the country are completely different.
37 posted on 11/14/2009 9:55:35 AM PST by teenyelliott (Soylent green should be made outta liberals...)
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To: USS Alaska

Two answers here.

1. Her decision, not mine. She’s the American citizen, I am not. I have no right to tell her who to vote for, and how to exercise her rights.

2. Why in my right mind would I sacrifice good will and a relationship for McCain? He wasn’t worth it to be frank.


38 posted on 11/14/2009 1:56:03 PM PST by BenKenobi
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To: xsmommy

I am who I am. If they ask me they’ll find out.


39 posted on 11/14/2009 1:57:41 PM PST by BenKenobi
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To: x_plus_one

“What’s your advice on communicating with holier-than-thou progressives?”

Look like a liberal and argue ‘classical liberal’ principles. The key is to argue there is a difference between Marx and between folks like Rousseau. Rousseau I have found enormously useful to hammer home certain principles such as natural rights, while at the same time not contesting the principles of the enlightenment. You’ll find out pretty quickly who is truly fond and devoted to Marx.

WRT to the Marxists, I’ve not had that much success. I would hammer home Solzhenitsyn and have them read the gulag archipelago. “Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich” is also useful. So is Harrison Bergeron, surprisingly. You have to be arguing that making everyone equal always means bringing the strong and the good and the bright and the clever down to the level of everyone else.

WRT to the Rousseau folks, I would toss out Hobbes. Point out the dichotomy between the two regarding human nature. Point out the fact that Hobbes is not religious, and how Hobbes doubts that human nature is perfectible. The argument you are going here is that government cannot make a person good.

Those are just my points. Me, the conversion was on the social conservativism side, and it took seeing pictures of dead babies to push me over.


40 posted on 11/14/2009 2:06:39 PM PST by BenKenobi
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