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Vanity - Anyone have to do Performance Goals and assesment for their job (Professionals)
N/A | 12/2/2009 | Me

Posted on 12/02/2009 10:59:32 AM PST by CarmichaelPatriot

Anybody else here have to annual goals identification and assesment as part of their annual review?

I was looking at what they want me to enter. The categories are Quality, Growth (company), Profitability (company), and Human Capital/Development. I am a software developer. I write what they tell me to write, so I don't see where I have anything to contribute here, except to the Quality item. The company won't pay for training, so the Human Capital/Development issue is completely out of my hands. The "free" training that is offered is either BS "touchy / feely" crap I don't want or need, or technical in nature at a level I could've used about 30 yrs ago.

I work for a medium size company (6000 employees or so) that primarily provides staffing and technical solutions to federal, state and local government agencies, so the way I see it, company growth is all based on what bids we win or lose and I have nothing to do with the bidding process (and I don't want to). Profitability is driven by requirements, project management and business process improvement. I've done quite a lot of BPI in the past, but management doesn't seem too interested in it and I received almost no recognition for it. Now recently our CEO has come out with a letter to all employees that we will be experiencing "Flat Salary Growth" this year (ie. no raises, you suckers) and he hopes they'll be able to fund the bonus pool this year (didn't happen last year or the year before).

Any thoughts? I wonder if anyone other than my direct manager (who is a joke) even looks at this stuff. I'm thinking of being really sarcastic in my entries, just for the heck of it.


TOPICS: Business/Economy
KEYWORDS: assesment; goals; performance
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To: TPluth

Being able to write your own PR is a definite plus.


21 posted on 12/02/2009 11:08:18 AM PST by Paladin2
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To: TPluth

Just invent some gold-plated BS. Throw in a lot of impressive MBS-speak terms like “paradigm”, “embrace the change” and “process improvement”. Remember that executives rise to the level of their own incompetence so you only have to worry about what your immediate supervisor thinks. No one above him is smart enough to understand what you are doing.


22 posted on 12/02/2009 11:08:38 AM PST by Seruzawa (If you agree with the French raise your hand - If you are French raise both hands.)
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To: TPluth
I can tell by your observations that you will probably be self employed one day. I notice and rebel against this corporate crap everytime I see it. It's the biggest waste of time anyone ever dreamed up, and the fools who are being paid to dream it up should be horsewhipped for wasting countless hours of productive time.

So...I'm pretty much self employed now and slowly going broke, lol. But I guess that is the price to be paid for not being able to put up with such idiocy. I'm hoping hard times will make companies quit being stupid, but I see no signs of it yet.

23 posted on 12/02/2009 11:08:48 AM PST by badbass
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To: TPluth

Oh, BTW, I handed mine in about an hour ago....


24 posted on 12/02/2009 11:08:57 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (Ram "Health Care Reform" down our throats in '09, and we'll ram it up your @ss in '10.)
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To: central_va
and an H1-B will be breathing down your neck soon

Aint' that the truth!

25 posted on 12/02/2009 11:08:59 AM PST by snippy_about_it (Looking for our Sam Adams)
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To: TPluth

Gawd yes. I’m a low-level cog, but the “career development tool” wants me to answer questions like I’m a stinkin’ mid-level manager. I’m not going to “drive innovation” or “create followership”. I’m a trained monkey who pushes a button. It’s a damned joke. But if you knew as many HR people like I have, you would understand exactly how it got that way.


26 posted on 12/02/2009 11:09:21 AM PST by thecabal (Destroy Progressivism)
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To: LiteKeeper; TPluth

As a developer running his own show, I don’t have to deal with that kind of crap.

;-)


27 posted on 12/02/2009 11:09:55 AM PST by LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget (God punishes Conservatives by making them argue with fools.)
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To: TPluth

My advice: Use Access and Excel to make way cool graphs and charts. Make them pretty.

Worked for me.


28 posted on 12/02/2009 11:10:04 AM PST by Skooz (Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us)
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To: TPluth

oh and p.s. you can do a sarcastic one, just hang it on your frig (providing the boss never comes over) it will make you feel better!! The real “office space” one goes to your boss.


29 posted on 12/02/2009 11:10:10 AM PST by AbolishCSEU
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To: TPluth

I am in the same situation. Not a good time (with the job market what it is) to make waves. I have been writing the same basic performance review for years and have accumulated a nice library of comments. Mix and match new ones every year and when you get a new boss, you can recycle complete reviews.


30 posted on 12/02/2009 11:10:38 AM PST by Energizer45678
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
Just suck it up, play the game, and write down the standard crap. No need to make waves.

Agreed. I just write down what the managers want to hear.

31 posted on 12/02/2009 11:11:09 AM PST by IndyTiger
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To: thecabal

Remember, Adolph Eichmann worked in HR.


32 posted on 12/02/2009 11:12:02 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim (Live jubtabulously!)
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To: TPluth

Professional Development. Get some “alphabet soup” behind your name.

Cletus D. Yokel, CHMM, CECM


33 posted on 12/02/2009 11:12:36 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: sniper63
I have to do the same thing, both for myself and the people that wok for me.

You work in the Chinese food business? :o)

34 posted on 12/02/2009 11:13:04 AM PST by wastedyears (You tell 'em I'm coming, and Hell's coming with me! - Wyatt Earp)
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To: TPluth
Be careful, or this could be your performance review. Read between the lines!

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible

35 posted on 12/02/2009 11:13:43 AM PST by FatherofFive (Islam is an EVIL like no other, and must be ERADICATED. Barack OBORTION is a close second.)
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To: TPluth

I loathe that corporate crap. What I’m seeing is, they’re even starting to make the contract workers (like me) participate in this bs. That used to be one of the perks of BEING contract.....not having to put up with the bs. Things change.


36 posted on 12/02/2009 11:14:05 AM PST by XenaLee
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel
Get some “alphabet soup” behind your name.

I tried to get Tijeras_Slim HMFWIC on my business card...

37 posted on 12/02/2009 11:15:29 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim (Live jubtabulously!)
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To: TPluth
I think I used to work there!

Here's my advice. Play the game. Save the criticisms for your exit interview when you finally escape the place. That's what I did.
38 posted on 12/02/2009 11:17:25 AM PST by grateful
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To: thecabal; All

In a lot of cases, the managers (ie people over you) are just trying to get and gather ideas to put on their OWN performance review form.

Some of the manager level ees are so dense they can’t come up with stuff on their own. At least, that’s been my observation.


39 posted on 12/02/2009 11:17:41 AM PST by XenaLee
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Heterosexual male fat white ... conservative

what’s the ‘I’?


40 posted on 12/02/2009 11:17:42 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel
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