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Vanity - Anyone have to do Performance Goals and assesment for their job (Professionals)
N/A | 12/2/2009 | Me

Posted on 12/02/2009 10:59:32 AM PST by CarmichaelPatriot

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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

Head Mother ****** Whos In Charge...

Your’s is pretty good too, but not fat (like the name’s not a tip off)


41 posted on 12/02/2009 11:19:13 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim (Live jubtabulously!)
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To: TPluth
"Any thoughts? I wonder if anyone other than my direct manager (who is a joke) even looks at this stuff. I'm thinking of being really sarcastic in my entries, just for the heck of it."

---------------

You asked for thoughts. First, could I ask how old you are, and if you need the job?

If you are over 40, and you need the job, you are a stupid moron for putting anything sarcastic in something that may not be read immediately, but will go into your little file for ready reference later if need be. And I understand that stupid, smart @ss morons usually get fired first. Odd thing that.

If you are under 40, and you don't need the job, best of luck to ya. Sarcasm has always seemed to work out real well for me in the corporate world. /sarc

42 posted on 12/02/2009 11:20:16 AM PST by freedomlover (Make sure you're in love - before you move in the heavy stuff)
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To: TPluth

I am a (retired) human resoruces executive and hated this crap with all of my being. The problem is that common sense, good will and trust has been replaced by management theory, political correctness and social engineering.


43 posted on 12/02/2009 11:20:39 AM PST by yetidog
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To: TPluth

I am a (retired) human resoruces executive and hated this crap with all of my being. The problem is that common sense, good will and trust has been replaced by management theory, political correctness and social engineering.


44 posted on 12/02/2009 11:20:42 AM PST by yetidog
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To: GSWarrior
Been writing my self appraisal at my company every year being here 22 years. Besides the salary decrease we had last year and no increase this year, the self appraisal is such a chore every year. Being positive is the only way to go.....The Emperor has such a lovely suit and I ain't gonna be the one to tell him he is naked!

It is a blessing to be employed. Your post cemented for me that as dull as the process is, staying positive throughout is the only way to go. It is hard I want to tell them where to go....not because of the money. The workplace has become SO volitile in the past year. I do not sleep well. Thanks

45 posted on 12/02/2009 11:20:57 AM PST by Uversabound (Our Military past and present: Our Highest example of Brotherhood of Man & Doing God's Will)
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To: TPluth

First, watch “Office Space” again, then..............


46 posted on 12/02/2009 11:21:10 AM PST by RightOnline
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To: Tijeras_Slim

LOL! Were you watching that History Channel show, “Hitler’s Managers”?


47 posted on 12/02/2009 11:21:10 AM PST by thecabal (Destroy Progressivism)
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To: thecabal

No, just a casual student of history.

Our HR people are so inept they couldn’t cater the Donner Party if you drugged them and duct taped them to a buffet table.


48 posted on 12/02/2009 11:23:41 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim (Live jubtabulously!)
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To: TPluth

Just play the game and make yourself sound like you hung the moon. It’s just an exercise in keeping the yahoos in the H.R. department employed.


49 posted on 12/02/2009 11:23:52 AM PST by OB1kNOb (All FReepers need to pray Psalms 109:8 daily for Barack Obama. (Look it up. I'm serious.))
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To: TPluth

I wouldn’t be sarcastic, and yes I have to do these every year too. The only one I can really give advice on is the human/capital issue. For this one, I generally list any workshops/courses/conferences I would like to attend provided there are funds(with specifics such as how they would help me, cost). Up until this year, I got at least one paid for per year. At the most you have it documented that you are paying attention to what needs to be done for improvement.


50 posted on 12/02/2009 11:24:25 AM PST by PrincessB (The comments written under this section shall not be treated as comments)
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To: XenaLee
I could believe that, but my manager is actually very competent (first time in my life I've had that situation).

However, I'm a firm believer in the Peter Principle. And Dilbert (at least the old stuff) is painfully accurate.

51 posted on 12/02/2009 11:25:06 AM PST by thecabal (Destroy Progressivism)
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To: thecabal

““drive innovation” or “create followership”. “

I haven’t been in a big corporate environent for a decade or so.

It appears that things have gone awry........


52 posted on 12/02/2009 11:25:42 AM PST by texmexis best
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To: Tijeras_Slim
Tijeras_Slim HMFWIC

LMAO!!!

53 posted on 12/02/2009 11:27:13 AM PST by Constitution Day
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To: TPluth
I have to do this every year. In the spring we write our goals and at the end of the year we evaluate how well we measured up against them.

I try to put off writing them as long as possible, one year I was able to not write them at all until it came time for my assessment. You are pretty much certain to achieve goals that are written after the fact. LOL

Google "Smart Goals" and try to find all of the buzzwords these types like to see. One year I had a list of about 50 of them and I made it a point to use each and every one at least once.

Other than that be vague when writing them and positive when doing your assessment. Some spin is probably expected so don't be afraid to blow your own horn within reason.

54 posted on 12/02/2009 11:27:35 AM PST by BlueMondaySkipper (Involuntarily subsidizing the parasite class since 1981)
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To: TPluth

You better hope your manager doesn’t read Free Republic


55 posted on 12/02/2009 11:28:38 AM PST by pblax8
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To: thecabal

Well, my manager was real smart (Rice Grad), but HER manager was a real dumb@ss. One that, just like in the movies and sit-coms, liked to take credit for her ideas and work. And I’ve seen others like that, as well over the years. Makes you wonder what criteria, if any, was used in hiring them.


56 posted on 12/02/2009 11:30:51 AM PST by XenaLee
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To: TPluth
I have to do this every year, and I have come to treat it as a creative exercise. Not that I'm unproductive or bored with my job: far from it. But you must learn how to communicate in a corporate style and with words that make your manager feel personally validated for having hired or promoted you.

Use action words whenever possible: created, directed, managed, supported, improved, facilitated, etc. Be specific and use metrics - numerical measurements - wherever possible to demonstrate achievement. Example: don't just say you "led a project" - say you "directed a dedicated team in support of a key management initiative" resulting in the reduction of processing times by an average of "y" minutes or in increase in sales of "x" dollars.

Treat your goals for next year in the same spirit - but make sure you choose ones that are achievable, for which success can be clearly defined. It's always a good idea to talk to your manager beforehand to gauge what they are looking for. Take notes during the meeting and when you do, write down the actual verbs and nouns they use - and use the same ones in describing your goals. Be sure to use a few industry buzzwords - but be careful not to overdo it - two or three will suffice.

Oh, it's BS - but it's good BS. And that's how you get by in Corporate America.

57 posted on 12/02/2009 11:31:03 AM PST by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
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To: texmexis best

Indeed. The torture of the English language with these meaningless, buzzword-filled phrases is out of control


58 posted on 12/02/2009 11:33:31 AM PST by thecabal (Destroy Progressivism)
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To: TPluth
Any thoughts? I wonder if anyone other than my direct manager (who is a joke) even looks at this stuff. I'm thinking of being really sarcastic in my entries, just for the heck of it.

I'd strongly advise against that. Put something positive down, get additional education/qualifications on your own if the company won't pay for it, and keep your resume up to date. Make yourself valuable, stay positive, be prepared for new opportunities and always remember it is your career, not the company's career.

Don't ever allow poor management to ruin your attitude and if you find yourself surrounded by negative people, run away because negativism is highly contagious and the single biggest career killer.

Just my humble advice.

59 posted on 12/02/2009 11:34:25 AM PST by Ditto (Directions for Clean Government: If they are in, vote them out. Rinse and repeat.)
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To: TPluth

I counsel you to take this as seriously as you can. At the very least it is a hoop that you must successfully jump thru in order to keep your job. Potentially your management could be taking it very seriously and may be using it as a means to weed out the clowns and keep the people that can align themselves with the organization’s goals.

Quality: you’ve got that one figured out already. I’ve been a Computer Programmer before (that’s what they called Software Developers in the old days) and I know that quality code is better than poor code in every way. Moreover it is something that can be measured. So, making a SMART Objective around that is a cinch.

Growth: how do you help the company grow? It can grow in market share, employees, profitability, install base... and as a Software Developer you can affect each of these in some way. Do you know a good Software Developer looking for a job? Have an Objective that says “help the company find good staff”. Pass his CV along to HR. BANG! That objective has been met. The other three objectives you can meet by building good quality, innovative product that is better than your competitors. Does a competitor’s product do something yours doesn’t, or does it do it better? Find out, and then develop that functionality for your own product. BANG! Another objective met: you won’t be losing market share for want of that functionality...

Profitability: As you are a software developer you are in the “production” side of the business. Making better product at a lower cost will make your company more profitable, automatically — it must. So there are two “levers” you can pull: “better product” and “lower cost”. You can surely figure out ways to do that. Therefore, building a SMART Objective around those two levers should also be a cinch.

Human Capital/Development: That involves more than just having the company send you on courses at their expense. You are a Professional and it is your responsbility to remain current. And in this job climate you’d be silly not to be investing in yourself, particularly if your company won’t. So, find a course or two you can take, enroll, and pay for it all yourself, then write up a briefing note on the course for your boss, and put a review up on your company’s intranet: that’s an easy SMART Objective. Take a few new books out of the library. Read them. Write a briefing note for your boss, and put your reviews up on your company’s intranet. Another SMART Objective, no sweat. But what about your team’s development — particularly the less experienced software developers? Can you “adopt” one and mentor them? If so, there’s another easy SMART Objective you can do — with the added bonus that it makes you a team player and thus more indespensible.

If I were you I wouldn’t be sarcastic or do anything other than your very best job on this: you’ve been at this for 30 years and getting a replacement job at your age may be more difficult than you might care to imagine.

Speaking personally, if one of my subordinates got sarcastic on an important task such as setting their Performance Goals I would be most annoyed and would probably discipline him, or at the very least give him HEAPS and then set his goals for him, seeing as he had proven himself incapable of setting them himself. He certainly wouldn’t do it twice!

(I see this as being the huge yawning trap that you risk stumbling into. BEWARE, my FRiend!)


60 posted on 12/02/2009 11:36:03 AM PST by DieHard the Hunter (Is mise an ceann-cinnidh. Cha ghéill mi do dhuine. Fàg am bealach.)
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