DUmmie FUnnies 12-17-09 (DUmmies ready to join Olbermann in going to jail!)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 17, 2009 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

[Charles Henrickson]

Gandhi . . . King . . . Mandela . . . Solzhenitsyn . . . Olbermann . . . OLBERMANN?? Wha-aa?? Yes, Keith Olbermann, the Wussiest Person in the World, is ready to join the ranks of heroic dissidents of the past in going to JAIL for his beliefs! I can just see his future memoirs: "The Long Island Archipelago." "Letters from a Bridgehampton Jail." KO's life and career will become the stuff of legend. Movies will be made: "Inflictus." "The Golf Shank Reduction." Ben Affleck will find work again. Songs will be written: "We shall Olbermann someday." "Let there be Keith on earth."

What has brought on Olbermann's impassioned imprisonment KOurage? Last night on his wildly popular "KOuntdown" program, with an audience literally in the tens of hundreds, KO KO'd BO over the proposed Mutual of Obama mandatory health insurance bill. In his "Special KOmment," Keith railed and ranted to new heights of belligerent bloviation, closing with this pugnacious pledge:

I hereby pledge that I will not buy this perversion of health care reform. Pass this at your peril, Senators, and sign it at yours, Mr. President. I will not buy this insurance. Brand me a lawbreaker if you choose. Fine me if you will. Jail me if you must.

Is KO bucking for a Kewpie Doll here, having a brief moment of mental clarity? Not exactly. He opposes the bill for different reasons than we do. He thinks it's not KOmmunist enough!

"Pass this at your peril." "Jail me if you must." Them's fightin' words, and so if Keith Olbermann is going to jail, the DUmmies are ready to join him! A host of KO-KOnspirators are shouting "I am Olbermann!" "If they come for Keith, they come for me!"

So Keithie is the Darling of the Day in DUmmieland. You can read about it in a bunch of threads, like this THREAD, "Olbermann's Special Comment was AMAZING!" and this THREAD, "I stand with Keith O. I will not...actually cannot afford to..." and this THREAD, "Keith Olbermann says he'll go to jail before being forced to buy health insurance and" and this THREAD, "I'm going to jail, who's with me?".

The DUmmie KOmments are in Bolshevik Red, while the KOmmentary of your humble guest KOrrespondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Olbermann's Special Comment was AMAZING!

[Olbermann's Special KOmment was AMUSING!]

He not only hit it out of the ball park but the east coast to west coast.

[He parked it! From KOast to KOast!]

I love that he says he will refuse to be forced to buy into this bondage and protection money for health care. He said he will go to jail first.

[ATTICA!]

Olbermann's job is to get TV ratings. . . . Don't take Olbermann's rants too seriously.

["Rantings for Ratings." It's not working.]

You are tombstoned, troll, so STFU

[You are THE WORST LOUSY FREEPER TROLL IN THE WORLD!]

Keith is wrong on this. He's wrong on Obama. He's on the wrong side for healthcare reform, which can be amended as opposed to killed to be buried. He can go off in his life of privilege and wink at those who can't get any coverage and think he's a folksy Murrowesque hero. He won't see them spit blood as he walks by to get into his limo.

[But it's a limo to Leavenworth!]

KO takes the subway, for one thing.

[The Underground Railroad! Dissidents on the run!]

he is obviously making many people very nervous speaking truth to power.

["Speaking truth to power"! Take a drink, if you're playing at home!]

Thank you Keith, it was hard to listen to, but you're a better man than oh so many others in Congress!!!

[Keith Übermann.]

I stand with Keith O.

[I am Olbermann!]

Jail ain't nothing to me. Hell, I'll get some health care there.

[Is that you, Otis Campbell?]

KO will go to jail? Now that's funny.

[It could be a sit-KOm, "Olbie's Heroes," with Chris Dodd as Sgt. Schultz, Harry Reid as Col. Klink, and the aforementioned Ben Affleck, of course, as Olbie.]

Sure he won't go to jail for that. He could go to jail in the future for inciting rebellion or whatever fascist overlords accuse people who dissent from them in thought.

["Fascist overlords"! Drink up! The irony, of course, is that it's the DEMOCRATS that would be the fascist overlords!]

"keith olbermann" is a f***ing corporation. you do get that right? right?

[KOco.]

the stupidity here is overwhelming sometimes. . . .

[KOOkoo.]

I'm going to jail, who's with me?

[Field trip!]

I will happily go to jail. There I will get a roof over my head, three meals a day, something constructive to do and I'll get free health care. All provided by the state. Do the math, it's not a bad deal.

[Like Mom's basement, only better!]

I'll try to stay out of prison myself, thanks.

[Is that you, Blago?]

Hope you can believe in...Maybe you can be on his Change Gang too.

["Change Gang." I sense a parody coming on. Maybe later this week.]

I can't go to jail because they'll put my animals down.

["Putdown," hosted by DUmmie EFerrari.]

I'll just have to go on the lam.

[The horse would be faster.]

We'll start an outlaw commune. All we need is an old school bus.

[The Olbermannson Family.]

Can we grow food there and cultivate some livestock?

[benburch is especially interested in cultivating the livestock.]

Extra cows and goats for making cheese for sale. Sell excess garden harvest. Lots creative and talented people here with skills to manufacture goods and provide services.

[There would be no shocking memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those left behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!]

We can start a website, Uninsured Underground

["The UUmies"? "Double U"? No, that one wouldn't work, fer sure. . . .]

The ultimate unfunded mandate. Unfunded, coercive, creating a new criminal class. Hope and change!

[Hope and chains! You win today's Kewpie Doll!]

I'm too pretty to go to jail

[Don't worry, ben, it'll be FUn!]

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

Right. Farmer John tells the cops that some smelly weirdos have goats on their land, and the sheriff ignores him. [All part of their dream, huh?]

[CharlieOK1]

Extra cows and goats for making cheese for sale. Sell excess garden harvest. Lots creative and talented people here with skills to manufacture goods and provide services

Evil Capitalist!!

[bcsco]

Thanks!

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

I quoted both of you in my profile too. FRegards ....

[kingu]

Aww, Charles, you missed the obvious....

Keith Memememan won't go to jail, as his insurance is provided as part of his compensation package from MSDNC. He doesn't have to buy insurance, as his is already being paid for, and likely the contract continues that insurance even if he gets fired.

So, like anything, from global warming to KOmmie rants, it is nothing more than hot air leaking from his big mouth, and contains no substance.

The funniest thing is that his insurance likely runs more than 24,000 a year. Maybe what he's really ranting against is the tax hit that MSDNC will take for all these high priced Caddie insurance polices?

[Charles Henrickson]

This is ALMOST a convergence of the Left and Right. WE want the government totally OUT of the health care business, THEY want the government taking it over, completely, so it will be "free." ALL of us don't want the government forcing us to buy health insurance.

[GeronL]

Until they all catch goat flu or forget to abort the lambs half-hippie fawn.

[mikrofon]

I can't go to jail because they'll put my animals down.

"You're ugly, you smell, and your owner's an idiot!"

[FDNYRHEROES]

I can't go to jail because they'll put my animals down.

"You're ugly, you smell, and your owner's an idiot!"

You owe me a new keyboard...ROFLMAO

[Mr. Silverback]

Neither. Jim Croce. :-)

[Mr. Silverback]

Did you ever read “A Walk Across America?” The guy visits The Farm looking for answers, and by the time he’s done he thinks the hippie lifestyle is a big load of crap.

[Mr. Silverback]

Hattie McDoogal: I own one share of Planet kajiggers so I’m entitled to some answers. Question 1: Why does no one visit me in my home?

Professor Farnsworth: ‘Cause your apartment smells like Polygrip and cat pee.

Hattie: Enough talk. It’s time for action. I move that everyone come to my apartment to snuggle my cat.

Scruffy the Janitor: Second.

Farnsworth: I move that your cat stinks and is ugly.

Scruffy: Second.

Hattie: I move that we vote on a new chief executive officer and oust this old creep. And also that make cat smells good and is pretty.

Scruffy: Second.

[benjibrowder]

They do realize Keith Olberman already has a nice, fancy cadillac health insurance option, don’t they?

[sticker]

No, but I was working in a hardware store in the Nashville area, mmmm years ago, and the freaks from down there were working on an apartment complex close by. The stench was terrible and they were half stoned every time they came in the store.

[Charles Henrickson]

Sam Cooke or The Pretenders?

The great Sam Cooke, of course. That's the only version I know.

And if you turn your ear toward St. Louis and listen closely right now . . .

That's the sound of the wag working on the "Change Gang". . . .

Stay tuned.

[floriduh voter]

Is Olberman gonna do remote live shots from his jail cell? That will be fabulous.

[floriduh voter]

Is Olberman gonna do remote live shots from his jail cell? That will be fabulous.

[CSM]

Hey KOmmies,

It is nice to see that you are so willing to stand up and not be “enslaved” by a corporation. Now, if we could just get you to quit begging to be “enslaved” by the government we might make some progress.

Oh, BTW, the government is the one that has the guns, so their ability to enforce their “enslavement” far exceeds the ability of the corporations.

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

If I see a smelly yo-yo at my door selling cheese cleaned in creek water, I think I’ll get a no-tresspassing sign. Maybe a dog.

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

Maybe he’ll join the school bus commune and make black market goat cheese?