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PROTECTING YOUR CHILD FROM INTERNET PREDATORS
ZenithMax ^ | Jan 3 | J. Grant Swank, Jr.

Posted on 01/03/2010 5:57:16 AM PST by freedomyes

I visited a friend’s home for an evening. I wanted to check my email. I asked the 12-year-old daughter if I could check my email via her bedroom computer. She hesitated. I wondered immediately at her hesitation.

(Excerpt) Read more at zenithmax.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: caring; children; family; protection

1 posted on 01/03/2010 5:57:18 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: freedomyes

The 12 year old has already “been seduced”???? I think that’s called rape.


2 posted on 01/03/2010 6:02:04 AM PST by Shimmer1 (Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.It's already tomorrow in Australia. CharlesSchulz)
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To: freedomyes

What is a 12 year old doing with a computer in her room? Especially one that has already demonstrated that she can be seduced by paedophiles who are full of it...


3 posted on 01/03/2010 6:07:17 AM PST by sinsofsolarempirefan
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To: sinsofsolarempirefan

Agree.. any child on a computer should be doing so in front of the parents. Granted you can’t watch kids all the time but setting a computer up in the family room would make more sense.


4 posted on 01/03/2010 6:10:05 AM PST by maddog55 (Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.)
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To: freedomyes
This is a BS story.

Why would a grown man ask a 12 yo to use her computer "to check his email"? Why not ask an adult or does the author have some specific desire to pry into the child's stuff?

buncha hooey

5 posted on 01/03/2010 6:13:52 AM PST by corkoman
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To: maddog55

my grandchildren use a computer in the family room and the screen points out toward the room and the kitchen.

But this kid aside, I hate it, hate it when people come into my home and want to use my computer to check their email. I hate it,,it feels intrusive, they can open email with viruses and my personal records are not password protected on my puter so they can peruse my business.

I have nothing to hide but wouldn’t want anyone having access to my computer.

Am I a weirdo? Using another’s computer seems akin to asking to take a nap in their bed or to use their makeup.

Can’t this woman go anywhere without “checking” her email? Get a damned smart phone or blackberry is what I say.


6 posted on 01/03/2010 6:16:16 AM PST by cajungirl
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To: cajungirl

You are not a weirdo. If someone came into my home and wanted to use my computer to check their email, I’d warn them that I’ll be standing right behind them while they do it. If they complain that “this is private”, I’d tell them that everything on MY computer is private too and I plan to keep it that way.


7 posted on 01/03/2010 6:22:33 AM PST by Bryanw92 (Imagine a day when the politicians have to hold a bake sale to pay for votes!)
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To: cajungirl

I agree that people shouldn’t even ask to use someone’s personal PC. We installed a wireless network in our house, and I have one laptop that does nothing but provide an access point for ‘outsiders’ who may drop by...family, friends, etc. It has minimal software, and I run AV, anti-everything, with everything scanned all the time. It’s not too fast, but it seems sound. I’ve never had an issue with this setup. Cheap laptop on eBay can be had for less than $200 with wireless capability. I figure...the crappier it is, the less likely folks will be to ask for its use. But, if they think I need to see their latest youtube post or some such silliness, we’ll use that sacrificial machine...not my personal system.


8 posted on 01/03/2010 6:22:55 AM PST by PubliusMM (RKBA; a matter of fact, not opinion. 01-20-2013: Change we can look forward to.)
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To: corkoman

yup...folks who do that are kin to the “church lady”....


9 posted on 01/03/2010 6:29:31 AM PST by rusureitflies? (OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD! There, I said it. Prove me wrong.)
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To: freedomyes
I installed this on all my son's and my own computer:

K9 Web Protection - Free Internet Filtering and Parental Controls

Works great. Blocks by category but you can add/remove individual web sites manually.

Also plays a dog bark sound when they attempt to access a site that's blocked. That's helpful.

When you install it you set an administrator password where you're the only one that can disable it or add sites. (however, if your kid's tech savvy they may know how to stop services in Windows)

Once in a blue moon the software will act up and block all Internet connections. If that happens you can just stop/start the K9 service or just reboot the PC.

10 posted on 01/03/2010 6:35:16 AM PST by FReepaholic (My other tagline is hilarious.)
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To: PubliusMM; cajungirl
Get a damned smart phone or blackberry is what I say.

Just beware, Blackberry Phones and smart phones now have WiFi capability.

If you have a wireless network in your home that is not secured people with these phones could access your computer using their phone. Basically these phones are the same thing as a WiFi enabled laptop.

One option if you wish to leave your network open is to have your computer shut down when you have visitors.

11 posted on 01/03/2010 6:46:51 AM PST by Pontiac
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To: freedomyes

Although the author of this article makes valid points and good suggestions as to how a parent can control child intenet usage, I agree with some of the other commentators in the forum that the article itself seems contrived. First of all, it seems rather desperate for a grown man, friend of family notwithstanding, to ask a 12 year old if he could use the computer. Couldn’t he wait till he got home? If it was an important email for business, well, don’t those type of jobs always have employees who are glued to their cell phone internet? Evidently, the writer needed to personalize his suggestions and made something up. However, aside from this contrivance, a child should not have a computer. I had the family computer in my bedroom, and when the kids were young, I was in my room while they were surfing the web. I also made full use of AOL parental controls at the time, that prevented them from going on questionable sites. In addition, if the 12 year old in question had already been seduced ( strange word to use) by an older man, then I would be vigilant to prevent anything similar from happening again. Odd story all around.


12 posted on 01/03/2010 6:50:06 AM PST by sueuprising
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To: freedomyes
I visited a friend’s home for an evening. I wanted to check my email. I asked the 12-year-old daughter if I could check my email via her bedroom computer. She hesitated. I wondered immediately at her hesitation.

I have to wonder immediately at J. Grant Swank, Jr.'s insistence on wanting to use a 12 year old girl's computer instead of asking her parents if he can use theirs. If he was doing this just for the purpose of writing this story, he should have made up a story about doing this to his own daughter. By the time my own daughter is 12, I hope she is wise enough to not "completely" trust male friends of the family or any of her uncles with things that only her parents need to be aware of. I realize that J. Grant Swank, Jr. is a writer and has to write or he won't make a living, but in this story he comes across as a CREEP.

13 posted on 01/03/2010 7:22:21 AM PST by Dixie Yooper (Ephesians 6:11)
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To: corkoman

not


14 posted on 01/03/2010 7:37:35 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: Dixie Yooper

you are quick to judge, are you not?

your quickness is rash.

no further need to give commodious explanations as to the author’s moral integrity.

suffice it to say that the author and this family have known one another for thirty years, therefore, it would be not out of place for the author to make such a request of friends who are actually extended family over years.

please, don’t be so quick to make a cold judgment as you have done. it is not logical and it is not kind.


15 posted on 01/03/2010 7:42:36 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: PubliusMM

you are quick to judge, are you not?

your quickness is rash.

no further need to give commodious explanations as to the author’s moral integrity.

suffice it to say that the author and this family have known one another for thirty years, therefore, it would be not out of place for the author to make such a request of friends who are actually extended family over years.

please, don’t be so quick to make a cold judgment as you have done. it is not logical and it is not kind.


16 posted on 01/03/2010 7:43:13 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: sueuprising

the article is not ‘contrived.’

you are quick to judge, are you not?

your quickness is rash.

no further need to give commodious explanations as to the author’s moral integrity.

suffice it to say that the author and this family have known one another for thirty years, therefore, it would be not out of place for the author to make such a request of friends who are actually extended family over years.

please, don’t be so quick to make a cold judgment as you have done. it is not logical and it is not kind.


17 posted on 01/03/2010 7:44:03 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: cajungirl

ok. we get your message. you ‘hate it.’

kindly informing your friends your opinion should do it.

those who are mannerly friends will know your position and abide by it.


18 posted on 01/03/2010 7:57:01 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: cajungirl

you state:

“Can’t this woman go anywhere without ‘checking’ her email? Get a damned smart phone or blackberry is what I say.”

the author is a thirty-year friend of the family and therefore the family did not think it rude for such a simple request to be made of them.

other situations may unfold differently in other households, etc.


19 posted on 01/03/2010 7:58:54 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: cajungirl

I agree cajungirl, it’s invasive.


20 posted on 01/03/2010 8:18:04 AM PST by Shimmer1 (Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.It's already tomorrow in Australia. CharlesSchulz)
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To: freedomyes

I didn’t think it was so strange, except that he could’ve waited. Sometimes someone else is already on the other computer(s)


21 posted on 01/03/2010 8:20:47 AM PST by Shimmer1 (Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.It's already tomorrow in Australia. CharlesSchulz)
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To: freedomyes

I don’t think it’s so strange, but do think it’s invasive to use another’s computer. Except he or she is like family, so I suppose that’s the difference.
I had a “friend” come over one time and use my computer, and access porn sites. No more!


22 posted on 01/03/2010 8:23:44 AM PST by Shimmer1 (Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.It's already tomorrow in Australia. CharlesSchulz)
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To: Shimmer1

live and learn, eh?


23 posted on 01/03/2010 8:43:30 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: Shimmer1

but not in the particular case posited in this article due to the further explanation of friends over thirty years, etc. i presume you took note of that detail.


24 posted on 01/03/2010 8:44:45 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: freedomyes
you are quick to judge, are you not?

Actually, I agree with the previous poster. My family has been friends with another family for about 15 years. I think my husband has had legitimate reason to enter the teenaged girl's bedroom one time. We had gifted her with birthday money used to redecorate her room. We looked at her room together. I think one time I went into the kids' rooms to look for my son's shoes. I've been in the parents bedroom once, to see their newly bought bedroom furniture. We don't generally go in other people's bedrooms.

It's creepy.

25 posted on 01/03/2010 8:55:35 AM PST by Dianna
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To: Dianna

then it would have helped others understand your first statement if you had given such detail then. otherwise, it seemed quite ‘quick’ to judgment.


26 posted on 01/03/2010 8:57:27 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: freedomyes
then it would have helped others understand your first statement if you had given such detail then. otherwise, it seemed quite ‘quick’ to judgment.

I am allowed to judge, even quickly. Are you the author of the article? You seem awfully defensive about the comments.

Although we don't go in each other's bedrooms, we are very comfortable using each other's computers (which are in family spaces). Take that for what it is worth, I guess.

27 posted on 01/03/2010 9:09:06 AM PST by Dianna
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To: Dianna

i am defensive of reality / truth, not the author or any other individual in particular.

happy new year.


28 posted on 01/03/2010 9:37:39 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: freedomyes

Right. I saw the different case. :)


29 posted on 01/03/2010 9:53:58 AM PST by Shimmer1 (Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.It's already tomorrow in Australia. CharlesSchulz)
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To: Shimmer1

:-)


30 posted on 01/03/2010 10:45:45 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: freedomyes
Having two daughters now grown

I can think of a lot of times they would not want any male even dad in their room.

Unmade beds the need to pick up clothes including underclothes that belong in the wash basket.

Yep at times they were a bit messy but that is kids.

The 10 min to clean up room is not bad.

31 posted on 01/03/2010 10:57:44 AM PST by mouser (Run the rats out its theonly chance we have)
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To: mouser

been there, done that. seen that, cleaned up that. been thanked and thanked many times over for they are thankful but not all that tidy — at times, at other times they are.

it’s life.

and i would not have it any other way with my precious brood.


32 posted on 01/03/2010 11:20:49 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: Dianna

I agree. My best friend, a woman, has been so for forty years. She has never once been in my bedroom nor I in hers.

THis guy goes in a teen girl’s bedroom to use her puter and she has a history of being abused by a pedophile. Her parents should have said no to him, no man in her bedroom.

Best friends doesn’t mean there arfe no boundaries, nor family. I have kids who are reluctant when visiting to use our laptops so we have a “public” computer that they use that has none of our stuff on it.

I mean, my kids in my email would cause family fights. Hah!


33 posted on 01/03/2010 12:44:21 PM PST by cajungirl
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To: cajungirl

you do not understand that context of the article.

sorry if you cannot accept the explanation provided above several times.


34 posted on 01/03/2010 1:05:39 PM PST by freedomyes
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To: freedomyes

Assuming since we disagree that I “do not understand” the context is quite an assumption.

Several explanations of the “contest” don’t change my opinion.

THis person, allegedly a friend of the famiy for many years, goes into a vulnerable teens bedroom and makes assumptions that her reluctance means something.

He then writes about it publicly,,surely his “friends” are a bit disgusted by that.

I think he was using a pretext to get a column and was seeing things thru that prism.

ANd his going into her bedroom to use her computer is creepy in my opinion. ANd no friend would do that to one of my girls at that age.

We disagree,,no need to insult me by assuming my “understanding” is faulty.


35 posted on 01/03/2010 1:16:14 PM PST by cajungirl
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To: cajungirl

you are hopeless.

further, the household involved is not mentioned by name so how could that household get upset over anything?

good night.


36 posted on 01/03/2010 8:09:32 PM PST by freedomyes
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To: freedomyes
you are quick to judge, are you not?

I am the father of a preteen daughter. If I'm too slow to judge, I could quickly become a father of a victim.

your quickness is rash.

My quickness is justified!

no further need to give commodious explanations as to the author’s moral integrity.

The first seven paragraphs of this article could just as well follow the title; PROTECTING YOUR CHILD FROM VISITING PREDATORS

suffice it to say that the author and this family have known one another for thirty years, therefore, it would be not out of place for the author to make such a request of friends who are actually extended family over years.

The author failed to mention anything about exact number of years he had been such a close friend of the family. For that matter, he also fails to mention how many times he has been in this 12 year old girl's bedroom or on her computer.

please, don’t be so quick to make a cold judgment as you have done. it is not logical and it is not kind.

Now that I have taken a few minutes to review some of J. Grant Swank, Jr.'s other articles, I have to say I'm shocked that he would take on a subject of this nature so carelessly and with little or no regard to those of us he is directing it to. The first seven paragraphs of his article are anything but ingratiating to a protective parent who doesn't know the author.

37 posted on 01/04/2010 6:58:42 AM PST by Dixie Yooper (Ephesians 6:11)
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To: Dixie Yooper

happy new year


38 posted on 01/04/2010 7:00:21 AM PST by freedomyes
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To: freedomyes

Thanks, and same to you!


39 posted on 01/04/2010 7:04:57 AM PST by Dixie Yooper (Ephesians 6:11)
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To: freedomyes

The friend whom I am thinking who visited the house as a long time friend was certainly know to the house, correct? He writes a blog? Surely they know his blog? He writes about their daughter?

Now if they have been friends for years, how could they not know who he was, what he did, and what blog he writes?

If any friend, so called friend of mine, used my family and my daughter for his blog and it ended up posted on the net, believe me he would no longer be a friend.

A betrayal of the hospitality of a home was done for this writer’s blog. No civilized person would do what he did.

And I think you must be hopeless or hopelessly dense not to comprehend that point. Or have very very bad manners.


40 posted on 01/04/2010 8:24:19 PM PST by cajungirl
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