Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 01-15-10 (Pied Piper Pitt Plays Pretend Pundit in MA Senate Race)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 15, 2010 | William Rivers Pitt and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/15/2010 5:47:02 PM PST by PJ-Comix

Mumsy and Daddy invested some big bucks in your trust fund and what do you have to show for it? Other than heavily investing in "liquid assets" at Bukowski's and shelling out of pocket for vanity press books that only a few friends read, not much. Oh sure, there was that big Hail Mary pass on May 12, 2006 that looked like a sure thing. Unfortunately Karl Rove was NOT indicted and with his non-indictment any chance that the political establishment would take you seriously went up in smoke. Yes, if the indictment had happened William Rivers Pitt would be (in his own mind) now holding court with the national press at some fine dining restaurant in Boston, pontificating on the state of the Senate race between Scott Brown and Martha Coakley. Unfortunately for Pitt, he forever ruined his potential pundit career and can now only play pretend pundit for a bunch of sanity-challenged DUmmies as you can see in his THREAD, "Red Mass?" So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt pontificate on the race to the DUmmie asylum in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting Pitt's permanent sideline status, is in the [brackets]:

Red Mass?

[A religious ritual performed by KENNEDY CATHOLICS?]

The nature of modern American politics has been off-the-wall weird for a dozen years now. We've seen a president impeached for lying about sex. We've seen another president who was selected instead of elected in an orgiastic festival of Florida and federal fraud. We saw an administration use the darkest day in our history as an excuse to scare us, spy on us, steal from us and start false wars in our name. We've seen a vice president go on national television and advocate the benefits and blessings of torture. We came within an eyelash of seeing the first woman president elected in this still-misogynist nation, and did see the first African-American president elected in this still-racist nation.

[We did see Karl Rove indicted within 24 business hours of May 12, 2006.]

Those are just the big-ticket items. It is almost impossible to quantify the political mayhem that has broken loose during the last several years, and after all of it, you start to think that maybe you've seen it all. How much more deranged can it really get?

[Deranged enough to think you could Hail Mary yourself into fame with a fraudulent journalistic scoop.]

Well.

[Will.]

The open US Senate seat for Massachusetts, held since 1962 by the late liberal icon Edward M. Kennedy, could be filled on Tuesday by an outrageously hard-right Republican named Scott Brown if the voting breaks his way.

[The sacred Ted Kennedy seat. It doesn't belong to the people. It belongs to a certain aristocracy.]

Seriously.

[Are you cereal?]

A seat that has been in Democratic hands since God was in short pants could flip to the GOP after the special election to fill Kennedy's vacant seat takes place next week. Not to some sanded-down version of a Republican, mind you, but a real rock-ribbed fire-breathing right winger. GOP candidate Scott Brown enthusiastically endorses the use of torture, is anti-choice, against stem cell research, and once sponsored an amendment that would have let emergency room workers turn away rape victims if said workers had religious objections to giving those victims emergency contraception should they request it.

[Scott Brown enthusiastically endorses the use of torture? That must mean he favors forcing prisoners to read you PERFORM ENDLESS "PENITENCE" AT DUMMIE CANOSSA when you wrote volumes to deliver a partial birth non-apology.]

This guy - this guy - could take Teddy Kennedy's seat. That a man like this is even within shouting distance of winning a true-blue Massachusetts Senate seat is eloquent proof that the world has, indeed, gone completely barking mad.

[This guy - this guy who is so ordinary as to not live off a trust fund - could take Teddy Kennedy's seat. That a common man dare come within shouting distance of the sacred Kennedy seat is eloquent proof that our formerly aristocratic world has, indeed, gone completely barking mad. ...and now to the DUmmie Peanut Gallery.]

I hope that people will get scared enough to go out & send Mr Hunk packing..

[The press already sent Mr Pitt packing.]

will, what's your gut take on who's going to win?

[Will, please play pretend pundit for the DUmmies.]

As of yesterday, Coalkey is up by 8. Turnout is everything, and there's no way to predict.

[Freudenschade, baby! The Coakley camp can now break out the victory champagne given Pitt's track record as a pundit.]

Obama and his bill are toxic in this state. Gawd help us.

[Your Kewpie Doll is in the mail!]

This is what happened in the VA Governors race. Dem base are discouraged, not turning out the vote.

[If the polling station is Bukowski's, you can be sure Pitt will turn out.]

A confession from your Mother....... I campaigned for Eddie McCormick in the primary against Teddy in 1962. I was almost disowned. :-) Now, all these years later, I have acquired some wisdom...If I was back in Massachusetts I would walk a hundred miles in a blzzard to cast my vote for the Democrat even if that Democrat was the Devil herself.

[That was DUmmie Raven, the trust fund providing mumsy of Will. And don't worry about no longer living in Massachussets, Ma. ACORN can cast a vote their for you.]

It's going to be a political earthquake.

[Not to be confused with a Haitian earthquake.]

You expect Kansas to elect a BROWNback, but not Mass.

[You expect Mass to elect a BROKEback.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; pitt; scottbrown; williamriverspitt; willpitt
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061 next last
Okay boys and girls. One LAST time I will give you the website where you can BEGIN finding out about the fantastic deals I've been getting. Remember this is the LAST time so please don't pester me with questions about how I find my deals such as I got a couple of days ago when I bought a dozen 64-oz bottles of Gatorade for just $2.40 total (20 cents per bottle). So here is the website: NeverPayRetailAgain.Net.

Remember I will NEVER AGAIN tell you about this since I've already done it plenty of times before (and now) yet still get peppered with the questions.

1 posted on 01/15/2010 5:47:04 PM PST by PJ-Comix
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

You’re already in the pits pitts...


2 posted on 01/15/2010 5:48:36 PM PST by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


3 posted on 01/15/2010 5:50:05 PM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

top 10


4 posted on 01/15/2010 5:51:32 PM PST by NeoCaveman (usually clean, often articulate, only a slight Cro-Magnon accent except when I want to have one)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Red Mass?

Amen.

5 posted on 01/15/2010 5:52:46 PM PST by NeoCaveman (usually clean, often articulate, only a slight Cro-Magnon accent except when I want to have one)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I hope that people will get scared enough to go out & send Mr Hunk packing..

I was thinking exactly that before I read that statement. Which incidentally came after crying about Bush scaring people.
6 posted on 01/15/2010 5:53:33 PM PST by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

I see that Bukowski’s now has a Cambridge location. When did that happen?


7 posted on 01/15/2010 5:55:29 PM PST by posterchild (Endowed by my Creator with certain unalienable rights.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Top 10?


8 posted on 01/15/2010 5:55:59 PM PST by freedumb2003 (Communism comes to America: 1/20/2009. Keep your powder dry, folks. Sic semper tyrannis)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I hope that people will get scared enough to go out & send Mr Hunk packing..

Is that you Ben Burch?

9 posted on 01/15/2010 5:56:07 PM PST by NeoCaveman (usually clean, often articulate, only a slight Cro-Magnon accent except when I want to have one)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NeoCaveman

10?


10 posted on 01/15/2010 5:56:33 PM PST by Larry Lucido
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

LOL!!!


11 posted on 01/15/2010 5:57:34 PM PST by eswan9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Tell me about this website. What’s it called? ;-)


12 posted on 01/15/2010 5:58:07 PM PST by SoothingDave
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

20 bucks says that PPP won’t even vote on Tuesday. Too hungover from MLK day celebrated at where everybody wishes Pitt would go away, Bukowski’s


13 posted on 01/15/2010 6:06:57 PM PST by GQuagmire ( Angry Scrubwoman: Martha Coakley)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

First Pitt’s best friend gets arrested and now this.


14 posted on 01/15/2010 6:07:47 PM PST by Duke Nukum (I know writers who use subtext and they're all cowards.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

punditry from the muddy ditch


15 posted on 01/15/2010 6:08:31 PM PST by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards,com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Is Billy Pitts mother moving back from Alabama? What ever happened to the book that he wrote with Scott Ritter?


16 posted on 01/15/2010 6:10:51 PM PST by Little Bill (Carol Che-Porter is a MOONBAT.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: GQuagmire

but its where everybody knows his name because its on his shirt, ballcap and tattoo’ on his left nostril and he yells it every 15 minutes. “I am William Rivers Pitt and don’t you forget it!”


17 posted on 01/15/2010 6:11:33 PM PST by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards,com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
We were both DUFUing the same thread at the same time, PJ! You posted yours while I was still working on mine. So . . . I'll just do a mini-DUFU within your DUFU! Here's the first installment:

Red Mass?

["Red Mass" sounds like something that would fit a "Kennedy Catholic" like you, Will Pitt.]

Audio version of this article can be found here. . . .

[Wee Willie has even RECORDED his outoftruth essay, so we can all hear his gravelly voice!]

The nature of modern American politics has been off-the-wall weird for a dozen years now. We've seen a president impeached for lying about sex. We've seen another president who was selected instead of elected in an orgiastic festival of Florida and federal fraud. We saw an administration use the darkest day in our history as an excuse to scare us, spy on us, steal from us and start false wars in our name. We've seen a vice president go on national television and advocate the benefits and blessings of torture. We came within an eyelash of seeing the first woman president elected in this still-misogynist nation, and did see the first African-American president elected in this still-racist nation.

[Blah, blah, blah. . . . Get to Massachusetts, O Logorrheal One.]

The open US Senate seat for Massachusetts, held since 1962 by the late liberal icon Edward M. Kennedy, could be filled on Tuesday by an outrageously hard-right Republican named Scott Brown. . . . A seat that has been in Democratic hands since God was in short pants. . . .

[Hey, that reminds me, Will: Any comment on your old buddy and colleague Scott RITTER getting caught with HIS short pants down?]

That a man like this is even within shouting distance of winning a true-blue Massachusetts Senate seat is eloquent proof that the world has, indeed, gone completely barking mad.

[We barked it.]

I don't give a great deal of credence to the doom-and-gloom predictions for the Democrats' electoral chances in 2010. . . . But if Ted Kennedy's seat is in play, in deeply Democratic Massachusetts, anything is possible, and I might have to rethink my incredulity.

[Expect a "Self-Recanted Evening" on Wednesday.]

18 posted on 01/15/2010 6:16:41 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Practicing Pittologist)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
They are beginning to grasp what is on the horizon.
Their fear brings me great pleasure.
19 posted on 01/15/2010 6:18:02 PM PST by Carlrob
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Little Bill

Is that the perv weapons inspector?


20 posted on 01/15/2010 6:20:25 PM PST by GQuagmire ( Angry Scrubwoman: Martha Coakley)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson