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Experts Warn: JPK III May Not Be Worthy of Kennedy Legacy
The Vitamin Press ^ | 02/28/2010 | Kip Hooker

Posted on 02/28/2010 6:56:22 PM PST by TheVitaminPress

Massachusetts- For the last twenty four hours rumors have been pervading the internet and blogoshphere that Joseph P. Kennedy III, Grandson of RFK and namesake of the Kennedy scion, is seriously considering a run for congress. The response to this possibility has been largely positive but there are those out there who are not convinced that the young man from Boston has what it takes to live up to the hollowed and universally respected Kennedy name. “I’m just not convinced that this young man from Boston has what it takes to live up to the hollowed and universally respected Kennedy name,” Sage Pinebrush, political analyst and spokesperson for the environmental action group People Establishing Nature In Society, informed The Vitamin Press. “I mean think about it,” Sagebrush continued, “This guy is 29 years old and has never killed anyone, raped anyone, compromised national security by sleeping with an agent of the KGB, or had one of his children lobotomized to further his political career; are we really sure he’s a Kennedy?”

A spokesperson for the Kennedy clan, however, has assured The Vitamin Press that what the Joseph P. lacks in experience he makes up for in enthusiasm. “Ok sure he may be a little bit green around the gills but this kid has what it takes to make a great Kennedy. It’s a long time till November and he is just getting out there everyday and meeting people, shaking hands, kissing babies and planning just the sort of crime that would get anyone else locked up for the rest of their lives but will -in his case- establish his bonafides and assure him an elected position in the federal government forever. Besides . . . a little history here folks . . . remember that not even JFK came into the political arena knowing how to steal elections or make problem mistresses disappear, those were things Papa Joe had to teach him.”


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: joekennedy; kennedy; kennedyfamily; sarcasm; satire
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1 posted on 02/28/2010 6:56:22 PM PST by TheVitaminPress
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To: TheVitaminPress
As my grandfather used to say:

Nothing good ever comes from a Kennedy.

2 posted on 02/28/2010 6:57:52 PM PST by Slyfox
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To: TheVitaminPress
From The Vitamin Press

3 posted on 02/28/2010 6:58:02 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: Slyfox

I don’t know . . . I kinda liked George Kennedy :)


4 posted on 02/28/2010 6:58:38 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Yeah, I liked Kennedy too. BTTT.


5 posted on 02/28/2010 7:02:21 PM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: TheVitaminPress

That’d be George Kennedy. LOL!


6 posted on 02/28/2010 7:02:41 PM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: TheVitaminPress

I just saw Thunderbolt and Lightfoot. Yeah...George would be good in this Congress. Can he use his silencer?


7 posted on 02/28/2010 7:04:29 PM PST by o-n-money
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To: writer33

Ha, he was pretty good in Cool Hand Luke!


8 posted on 02/28/2010 7:04:40 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Good, Great let this hollow Kennedy namesake run as a CommieCrate! If Republicans can’t come up with a real conservative candidate, then the people of MA deserve the hollow puppet with a name!


9 posted on 02/28/2010 7:05:03 PM PST by J Edgar
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To: TheVitaminPress

Yep. He was also good in those Airport movies.


10 posted on 02/28/2010 7:06:06 PM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: o-n-money

Whoa I’ve never seen that one . . . but after looking it up on IMdB I can tell you that it is definitely going to the top of the netflix que


11 posted on 02/28/2010 7:06:10 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: writer33

Surely you must be kidding.


12 posted on 02/28/2010 7:06:44 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

LOL!


13 posted on 02/28/2010 7:07:24 PM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: J Edgar

Like those of The Founder’s generation were fond of saying “no more kings!”


14 posted on 02/28/2010 7:08:05 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress
Don't call me "Kidding"!


Wait a minute...did I get that right?

15 posted on 02/28/2010 7:10:06 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: Billthedrill

LOL!


16 posted on 02/28/2010 7:10:55 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Kinda looks like Conan Obrian


17 posted on 02/28/2010 7:11:42 PM PST by mountn man (The pleasure you get from life, is equal to the attitude you put into it.)
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To: mountn man

Thought the same thing.


18 posted on 02/28/2010 7:13:49 PM PST by BlueAngel
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To: mountn man; BlueAngel

Ok you got me, that really is a picture of Conan . . . but google a pic of JPK III, they could be twins!


19 posted on 02/28/2010 7:15:36 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress
live up to the hollowed and universally respected Kennedy name.

???????? Rum Runners that need the mafia to get them elected?

20 posted on 02/28/2010 7:17:29 PM PST by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west)?)
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To: TheVitaminPress

No kidding!


21 posted on 02/28/2010 7:19:28 PM PST by BlueAngel
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To: BlueAngel

He looks like he has a little Dick . . . Gephardt in him too.


22 posted on 02/28/2010 7:21:14 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Can’t these arrogant bastards find something else to destroy? This country has suffered enough.


23 posted on 02/28/2010 7:21:38 PM PST by sig226 (Bring back Jimmy Carter!)
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To: eyedigress

The Kennedies were so much more than just rum runners . . . they were also murderers, thieves and in general the worst sorts of villains that a person could imagine.


24 posted on 02/28/2010 7:25:02 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: sig226

It is infuriating that this know nothing, do nothing can just decide one day that he wants to have power over our liberty and property (and bodies should they pass this health reform nonsense) and then just expect that it be handed to him. But since there really isn’t anything I can do about that I decided just to make fun of him instead.


25 posted on 02/28/2010 7:27:50 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

This guy should kill at least 3 people. THEN he’ll be good enough to carry on the Kennedy name.


26 posted on 02/28/2010 7:28:13 PM PST by pnh102 (Regarding liberalism, always attribute to malice what you think can be explained by stupidity. - Me)
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To: TheVitaminPress
“I’m just not convinced that this young man from Boston has what it takes to live up to the hollowed and universally respected Kennedy name,”

Bwhahaahahahaahaha... That's a good one!
27 posted on 02/28/2010 7:29:18 PM PST by lmr (God punishes Conservatives by making them argue with fools.)
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To: TheVitaminPress
People Establishing Nature In Society

P.E.N.I.S?

28 posted on 02/28/2010 7:30:39 PM PST by capydick (''Life's tough.......it's even tougher if you're stupid.'')
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To: TheVitaminPress

Hows about we just say that this family did more to hurt the American dream than is imaginable and call it a day?


29 posted on 02/28/2010 7:32:37 PM PST by samadams2000 (Someone important make......The Call!)
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To: pnh102

LOL, true enough!


30 posted on 02/28/2010 7:32:38 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Hows about we just say that this family did more to hurt the American dream than is imaginable and call it a day?


31 posted on 02/28/2010 7:32:38 PM PST by samadams2000 (Someone important make......The Call!)
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To: lmr

Well, it might not be great satire . . . but it is absurd!


32 posted on 02/28/2010 7:33:22 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: capydick

Haha, yup. I try and slip that acronym in every now and again!


33 posted on 02/28/2010 7:34:08 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: samadams2000

Had I my druthers the Kennedy’s would have called it a day after the original Joe P. got expelled from England.


34 posted on 02/28/2010 7:35:22 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

There is nothing to respect about a family of bastard, drunken, rapist, adulterous, abusive, treasonous, thieves.


35 posted on 02/28/2010 7:36:50 PM PST by gedeon3
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To: TheVitaminPress
Not worthy of the Kennedy legacy? Let's see now...has he ever murdered a 15 year old? Has he ever raped a woman? Paralyzed a woman? Diddled a young girl? OD'd on heroin? Left the scene of a fatal car accident?

The answers to those questions will determine how worthy he is.

36 posted on 02/28/2010 7:45:50 PM PST by Gay State Conservative (Host The Beer Summit-->Win The Nobel Peace Prize!)
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To: TheVitaminPress
Did his mother know Conan O'Brian?


37 posted on 02/28/2010 7:45:52 PM PST by maine-iac7 ("He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help" Lincoln)
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To: Slyfox

My Grampa particularly lived thru the Joe Kennedy bootlegging,
whoreing, lobotomizing, stock market manipulating, era. His
summation of the Kennedy clan: “Not worth a shot of powder ta blow the whole bunch ta Hell!”


38 posted on 02/28/2010 7:48:35 PM PST by pankot
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To: TheVitaminPress

I’ll bet Bawney Frank has fantasized about having a little Dick...Gephardt in him.


39 posted on 02/28/2010 7:49:18 PM PST by gthog61
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To: gthog61

ROFLMAO!!


40 posted on 02/28/2010 7:49:43 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: gedeon3

Agreed.


41 posted on 02/28/2010 7:50:25 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: Gay State Conservative

Don’t forget stealing elections, lobotomizing children, getting punked out by the Soviets and -possibly- killing Marilyn Monroe.


42 posted on 02/28/2010 7:53:44 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: maine-iac7

Haha, the resemblance is uncanny.


43 posted on 02/28/2010 7:54:39 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2010/02/joe_kennedy_iii.html


44 posted on 02/28/2010 7:55:01 PM PST by La Lydia
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To: La Lydia

Thanks the story on our website has been updated to reflect this most recent development. It reads thusly:

Update: The Vitamin Press has just learned that Joseph P. Kennedy III will not be seeking congressional office this November. Our sources are confirming that he was not interested in pursuing any course of action that might deter from his goal of becoming Conan O’Brien’s stunt double when he moves to Fox this fall. Special thanks to La Lydia for bringing this most recent development to our attention.


45 posted on 02/28/2010 8:02:27 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

He’s not running. He made a statement today.


46 posted on 02/28/2010 8:15:40 PM PST by nhwingut (Palin/Bachmann '12)
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To: TheVitaminPress
I dunno.
Ted (the Swimmer) Kennedy kind of set a threshold that serpents, insects, and various slime molds would be able to slither over...
Doubt JPK III (or whatever he is called) could 'fail' that standard (I assume that he has a pulse).
47 posted on 02/28/2010 8:18:11 PM PST by El Cid (Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house...)
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To: nhwingut

Thanks for the update!


48 posted on 02/28/2010 8:21:14 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: El Cid

No doubt Teddy was an awful human being, but -at least in terms of horrible things done in a given lifetime- I think Joe might have been worse.


49 posted on 02/28/2010 8:28:03 PM PST by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: TheVitaminPress

Funny!


50 posted on 02/28/2010 8:34:21 PM PST by capydick (''Life's tough.......it's even tougher if you're stupid.'')
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