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Show Me the Money: Obama Visits the IRS
04/14/2010 | Limis Ward

Posted on 04/14/2010 7:45:52 AM PDT by Delta Man

Did you ever wonder what happens to your tax return after you drop it in the mail? Well, it goes to somebody like me. I work at the IRS processing center in Kansas City, Missouri. There’s a number of these centers around the country but there all pretty much the same.

I sit at a desk in a large circular room on the second floor of our building. Each morning I go to work and find a large stack of mail waiting for me. I open each envelope, scan the return and any supporting documents into a computer, and then cancel the documents with a stamp. If a payment accompanies the return, I scan the check and/or the cash (yes, you’d be surprised how many people send in cash) into the computer as well.

Once I verify that the scan is good, I put the return in a bin for shredding and throw the money over the rail by my desk into a large pit in the center of the room. This pit drops down a good ten to twelve feet to the first floor. Workers on the floor of the pit are supposed to pick up the money and prepare it for deposit but due to budget cuts and the heavy volume of returns at this time of year, a pretty big pile can build up. We usually have a pile of cash and checks sitting in the pit about seven to eight feet high during April.

At the end of the day, my desk is supposed to be completely clear. The rule is “returns in the bin and cash over the rail.” Then when I leave, I’m searched. I don’t mind any of this since they’re just making sure we don’t take any money. Plus it’s kinda of nice to have a clean desk.

It’s a pretty monotonous job so anything that breaks up the day is deeply appreciated. Well imagine our surprise when we came to work yesterday and found out that President Obama was coming to visit our center that morning. I couldn’t believe it. Everybody was really excited. The President has a lot of fans here at the IRS, me included. He’s good to our union, he just passed a bill creating a lot of jobs at the IRS, and don’t forget, he is our boss.

Around 10 o’clock, several Secret Service men burst into our room and fanned out throughout the cubes. To a man, they were all pretty big and looked tough in their designer sunglasses. While they made a fast reconnaissance of our floor, you could hear a general murmur from the next room as the President moved through their workspace. I looked towards the doorway and in a few moments, I saw the President walking into our room.

The President is a very tall man and his gaunt appearance makes him look even taller. Several of my co-workers started chapping their hands and cheering. The President gave us a friendly wave and started walking over to meet us. I was probably about 20 feet from the President so I could just barely hear what he was saying. He didn’t waste any of his fancy rhetoric on us. It was pretty much stuff like, “How you doing? Nice to meet you.” Then the President noticed the large pile of money in the pit and stopped dead in his tracks.

With his mouth wide open and a look of amazement on his face, the President moved slowly, as if in a trance, towards the railing overlooking the pit. An uncomfortable silence descended on the room, broken only by the occasional ring of a phone. Our boss at the center, who was giving the President the tour of the facility, shifted nervously back and forth on the balls of his feet. I don’t think he knew if he should say anything or just leave the President alone.

Then, before anybody could stop him, the President jumped over the rail and dove head first into the big pile of money down in the pit. We all rushed to the railing. The Secret Service agents were in a panic because the President was no longer visible, as his dive had carried him completely into the pile. Our fears were quickly assuaged however because once the room quieted down we could hear muffled cries of joy coming from underneath the pile. Then we noticed various areas in the pile shaking back and forth, as the President presumably moved through it.

The quaking of the pile moved towards the surface and then the President seemed to explode from the pile. With money flying from his hands as he raised them to the sky, the President was now visible, albeit covered up to his chest in money. Then he started grabbing handfuls of money and throwing it high into the air while screaming, “It’s mine. It’s all mine.” If I weren’t such a fan of the President, I’d swear there was a hint of evil in his countenance.

A number of us reached for our cell phones and took pictures of the President in the pit. Unfortunately, after the President was escorted out of the pit the Secret Service confiscated our cell phones in the interest of “national security.” And of course when we got our cell phones back that afternoon, guess what? All of the pictures of the President had been deleted. One of my co-workers, Earl Smith, tried to make a drawing of the President throwing money in the air like a madman but his rendition of the event looked more like a generic stick man with big ears.

I was very disappointed that I didn’t get to meet the President. It would have been a great honor. But maybe it’s better off that I didn’t. I don’t know what the nation’s number one White Sox fan would have thought of the huge Cubs logo I have hanging in my cube. He might have thrown me into the pit.

TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: irs; kansascity; money; obama

1 posted on 04/14/2010 7:45:52 AM PDT by Delta Man
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To: Delta Man
Someone did manage to sneak a video out.
Here's Obammie at the scene:

obama-money.gif image by dre23_07

2 posted on 04/14/2010 7:55:59 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (PALIN/MCCAIN IN 2012 - barf alert? sarc tag? -- can't decide)
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To: Delta Man

where’s the funny part ?

3 posted on 04/14/2010 8:44:05 AM PDT by stylin19a (Never buy a putter until you first get a chance to throw it)
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To: brytlea; Diana in Wisconsin; Kakaze; Tammy8; unkus; metmom; Cap Huff; svcw; leapfrog0202; Concho; ..

Wry humor ping

4 posted on 04/14/2010 8:58:46 AM PDT by greyfoxx39 (Through the annals of time, there has been the Judas kiss, the Brutus stab, and now, the Obama bow.)
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To: Delta Man

As silly as it sounds, the sad thing is that it is so much LIKE Obama that it just could really happen.

5 posted on 04/14/2010 9:36:12 AM PDT by Apple Pan Dowdy (... as American as Apple Pie mmm mmm mmm)
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