NASA Unveils New Plan for Muslims in Outer Space

Canada Free Press ^ | 7/7/2010 | Daniel Greenfield

[IbJensen]

Barack H. Obama 666 Pennsylvania Ave Washington, DC 20006

Dear Sir,

I cannot tell you how much we appreciate your budget cuts, your cancellation of the space shuttle and any replacement launch vehicle for it, forcing us to rely on Russian Soyuz ships and their space program, which can’t even seem to dock with the ISS Space Station.

Your wise decision in this regard, as well as your cancellation of any return trip to the moon, has caused us to reevaluate many of our programs, including the search for intelligent life on earth. We understand of course that space exploration must take a backseat to more important matters, such as bailing out the car companies and banks who contributed to your campaign. And of course the White House entertainment budget. Your historic actions since taking office have truly challenged us as an agency. We can only hope to one day be able to return the favor.

After carefully reviewing your new priority for NASA, to reach out to Muslims and make them feel good about “their historic contribution to science, math, and engineering”, which consisted mainly of ripping off Greek and Indian science, and passing it off as their own, we have developed a comprehensive plan for utilizing the talents and abilities of Muslims to further the goals of this nation’s goals space program, which you so articulately described as “That Outer Spacey Thing”.

-snip-

P.S. We haven’t figured out how to incorporate Muslims into this one yet, but maybe we’ll order spicy goat curry takeout before we do it. Or we’ll send that CD back to September 10th, 2001 instead, along with a Post It note reading, “We’re From the Future. Don’t vote for that jackass. And don’t let any Muslims board planes.”

Sincerely Yours

Charles S. Griffith

[Liberty Valance]

Ha! Very good.

[Ingtar]

For some reason, I keep thinking of this.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

You are supposed to face Mecca when praying. It would be child's play (relatively) to make a gyro stabilized platform that pointed continually in the direction of Mecca. Of course, on earth, Musselmen face Mecca along a more or less great circle route. One would have to devise a definition of the direction to Mecca, great circle to the latitude and longitude at one's altitude or direct line of sight through the earth? Or what have you? Let the mullahs decree! Of course I see herein the seeds of another schism in the Great Faith.

[org.whodat]

I would support research in human cannon ball, would it be possible to hit the moon with a Muslim.

[John Valentine]

You beat me to it. It’s a natural thought, and could make NASA mean something again.

[ScottinVA]

If muslims do go into space, running into these will ruin their entire day!

[Dr. Thorne]

Sharia Trek

[catnipman]

Pigs In Spaaaaace!

Indeed. This is stuck in my head too. Except, I realized Muslims in space is more like anti-pigs in space than pigs in space. But now we have a real problem. Pigs in space and anti-pigs in space at the same time. But this could be real trouble, I tell myself. But wait! Trouble in space is a good thing! After all, that's what "Star Wars" was all about. So, we have the basis here for a new Space Wars series: "Porkitar!". It's set thousands of years in the future, where pigs have evolved into sentient beings and are being persecuted in a genocidal cleansing jihadic fashion by evil Islamic space warriors (that used to be really good in math and science thousands of years ago) intent upon destroying the planet inhabited by these cute, peaceable vegetarian goodniks who gather about the sacred acorn tree ...