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Parents, Share Incidents of Family Wisdom
Vanity ^ | 07/30/10 | Sara Johnson

Posted on 07/30/2010 12:16:10 PM PDT by SaraJohnson

This is my first vanity and let's hope the last for those who hate vanities.

As a parent, I gained a great deal of insight in life from my sons. I figure it is the central benefit of the self sacrifice of parenting. I am asking Freeper parents and grandparents to share lessons from observing and interacting with their kids.

(Excerpt) Read more at vanity@freerepublic.com ...


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: child; childdevelopment; children; families; family; fun; funny; humor; kid; kids; kidssaythedarnedest; parent; parenting; things
Here is one of our family stories.

My eldest son, at age one and two, was fascinated with the game "Candyland." He looped every adult who came into the house to play the game with him. He was not a good loser, and as time when by, he decided that Plumby, that purple creature on the deadly card, was his major foil to success. So...in secret, he strangled the plumby card and tossed him in the trash. Being a baby, he did not think to bury the body and so the evidence of the crime was discovered quickly by Dad.

When Dad found dead Plumby in the trash, the game turned from Candyland to Clue. Who crumbled up the Candyland spoiler and tossed him in the trash and why????? Was it an overdose of ego - the desire to win at any cost - or was it cookie monster, angry that plumby was not eatible because he was merely a dang card - paper?

The family three members all denied having been part of the cime. Mom said she likes plumby; he adds a fun aspect of chance to the game. She would not murder him. The Dad agreed with the mom, and so he proclaimed his innocence. The baby..well he had shifty eyes while saying plumby was not really important and was baaaad because he showed up and made innocent people lose the game for no reason. He suggested one of the stuffed animals or the dog, Lilly, did it. The baby denied his murder and shifted blamed on unquestion "members" of the family. It just so happened these suspects of baby could not be questioned...

So, I will tell you more of this mystery as this thread develops among parents and grandparents who might be able to guess who killed Plumby from their own stories of deviant toddlers.

1 posted on 07/30/2010 12:16:13 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: SaraJohnson

Not really mine, but it harkens back to a simpler time:

This morning my son (4) asked to go see a couple of boys he met at a family wedding a while back, and I told him we weren’t going to spend the money or the time to get on a plane and go see someone we hardly know. He responded, “Well, we played lego’s together.”

Hope everyone is enjoying your Friday!!


2 posted on 07/30/2010 12:22:18 PM PDT by Ingtar (If he could have taxed it, Obama's hole would have been plugged by now.)
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To: SaraJohnson

If you ever gain access to any of my family members, please don’t ask them to tell you story of me and my grandmother’s chocolate cake from which the icing ‘mysteriously’ disappeared. At seven, if I had realize what can be reveal in a mirror, I might have avoided two whuppins. Oh, and no matter hwo well you clean up the tools used to scrap icing from layers of a cake (and in between, too), if you don’t wash your face, you’re gonna get busted.


3 posted on 07/30/2010 12:24:23 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Dem voters, believing they cannot be deceived, it is impossible to convince them when deceived.)
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To: SaraJohnson

A stone cold killer with a heart of ice.

4 posted on 07/30/2010 12:26:18 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy
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To: SaraJohnson

Your son is smarter than his parents.

See, he knows that Plumpy is no good. They have taken him out of the most recent version of the game.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_Land


5 posted on 07/30/2010 12:27:33 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (PALIN/MCCAIN IN 2012 - barf alert? sarc tag? -- can't decide)
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To: SaraJohnson

Well, I don’t have anything so interesting, but I’ll share this incident. We had 4 children born in 5 years. Sat. mornings when everyone was home was always a busy time with mom and dad trying to catch up on repairs, yard work, etc. and the kids involved in various endeavors. My youngest son was about 3 when this happened.

I called the family in for lunch — soup and sandwiches — and noted that I had baked a Boysenberry pie for dessert. Everyone came to the table and dove into their food. I cleared the dishes and asked who wanted Boysenberry pie?

There were enthusiastic affirmatives all around, except from my three year old. His face was very serious and rather dour as I passed the pie all around and we dug into warm pie with ice cream on top.

I asked him again, and he shook his head no. Then, he asked his father rather cautiously, “Dad, are poisonperries really poison?”


6 posted on 07/30/2010 12:29:06 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic (Southeast Wisconsin)
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To: SaraJohnson

Only put as much of a drink in a child’s cup that you would not feel guilty about pouring down the drain.


7 posted on 07/30/2010 12:37:06 PM PDT by Bosco (Remember how you felt on September 11?)
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To: MHGinTN

PICS!

WHERE ARE THE PICS!

I WANNA SEE PICTURES!

LOL.


8 posted on 07/30/2010 12:37:28 PM PDT by Quix (THE PLAN of the Bosses: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/2519352/posts?page=2#2)
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To: SaraJohnson

It was a great trip.

Me, the wife and our two kids in the mini-van. We had been to Grandma’s and were heading back home after a few days on the road. And as kids do, they began to squabble and bicker in the back seat. We warned them once or twice to knock it off and keep quiet.

Finally I yelled; “Are ya’ll two done being stupid back there?”

Little Melissa answered right back; “Sam is; I’m not!”

That comment sank in with all of us. Talk about a “Wait-What?” moment.

We all laughed. The rest of the trip went much better.


9 posted on 07/30/2010 12:37:59 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (PALIN/MCCAIN IN 2012 - barf alert? sarc tag? -- can't decide)
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To: SaraJohnson
A few things:
Punishment - never lecture/punish a child while you are wearing sunglasses. Let them see your eyes. Get down/kneel down to their level. Don't yell at them from above.

Sidebar - Allow two levels of communication to handle a problem. Yelling or timeouts or paddling are the ways most of us know and have experienced. The other is to allow a sidebar. Treat the kid like an adult and have a rational discussion with them.

Talk to them as if you are giving some sort of inside information no one else knows.

Even my kid at 4 years old could handle that kind of discussion. Put the issue into a perspective they can understand.

Not funny anecdotes here but they have worked for us.

10 posted on 07/30/2010 12:46:51 PM PDT by Bartholomew Roberts
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To: Quix

Such a thing would live in infamy. Thankfully, the only picture is the one burned into my memory when my Mother held me up to the bathroom mirror before she whupped me again! ... But the chocolate I could reach with my tongue was cleaned off, before the tears helped wash the rest from my wicked little face. ...


11 posted on 07/30/2010 12:51:43 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Dem voters, believing they cannot be deceived, it is impossible to convince them when deceived.)
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To: MHGinTN

The entire episode is one which I intend for a children’s book, complete with illust5rations ... and it is true.


12 posted on 07/30/2010 12:54:18 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Dem voters, believing they cannot be deceived, it is impossible to convince them when deceived.)
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To: MHGinTN

GUFFAWS.

Your description with my imagination is plenty vivid enough.

Great description.

Thx.


13 posted on 07/30/2010 12:57:37 PM PDT by Quix (THE PLAN of the Bosses: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/2519352/posts?page=2#2)
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To: SaraJohnson

Do not coddle them when they are being brats. It only leads to greater brathood.


14 posted on 07/30/2010 1:03:02 PM PDT by pissant (THE Conservative party: www.falconparty.com)
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Along the lines of ‘look them in the eyes and talk to them at their level’ as posted above, I made a point of always responded to my son on the first, ‘Mom.’

I noticed that kids scream, ‘mommy, mommy!’ and the mom just ignores them until she can’t take it anymore, then she usually flips out. What the kids learn is to amp up the demand level because that’s the only thing that gets a reaction.

When my wanted my attention he got it, even if it was me telling him, ‘I’ll be with you in a moment.’ He knew he wasn’t being ignored, but that sometimes he was going to have to wait to speak with me until I had finished whatever I was doing. It also taught him that 2 adults speaking was not a cue for him to join the conversation.

When my son was a toddler, he would sometimes take things from a store and we wouldn’t notice until we got home. There were many talks about the evils of theft, etc. I guess the lessons finally sunk in when he went to the store with his grandfather and said, very loudly, “We’re not going to steal anything today, are we grandpa?”


15 posted on 07/30/2010 1:08:52 PM PDT by radiohead (Buy ammo, get your kids out of government schools, pray for the Republic.)
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To: radiohead

Excellent advice, and LOL.


16 posted on 07/30/2010 1:14:53 PM PDT by agere_contra (...what if we won't eat the dog food?)
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To: pissant

That is wisdom from the ages! Coddling is a bigggg mistake! Psychological warfare is more like it! LOL

Got a family story, pissant? Tell it!


17 posted on 07/30/2010 1:16:21 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: Ingtar

He responded, “Well, we played lego’s together.”


Well get with the program! What could matter more than playing legos and having fun? Debt to travel! Screw debt! Let’s have fun, mommy and daddy! LOL

Kids are too much obvious in the bottom line of unchecked ego! Kinda like liberals!


18 posted on 07/30/2010 1:22:36 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: Bartholomew Roberts

Talk to them as if you are giving some sort of inside information no one else knows.

Even my kid at 4 years old could handle that kind of discussion. Put the issue into a perspective they can understand.


You bet funny is not necessarily the spirit of the moment in confronting or teaching the human condition with our kids. Yes, they can handle discussions of right from wrong in an amazingly wise condition, considering their age. They know but it is a challenge to do!

My husband and I are comedians by nature and enjoyed the show our children put on to demonstrate to us - knowingly - the most basic of the human condition. Life to us, is very funny; abet scarey...


19 posted on 07/30/2010 1:29:18 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: agere_contra

Today that little thief is the proud FReeper skywalk, who introduced me to FR.


20 posted on 07/30/2010 1:31:28 PM PDT by radiohead (Buy ammo, get your kids out of government schools, pray for the Republic.)
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To: SaraJohnson

1. “I’m telling you from experience, if your last name is [our last name], you can’t get away with anything. Learn this lesson early and save us all some trouble.”

2. [a corollary]: Experience is that thing you have just after you need it.

Colonel, USAFR


21 posted on 07/30/2010 1:37:03 PM PDT by jagusafr ("We hold these truths to be self-evident...")
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To: Responsibility2nd

“Sam is; I’m not!”

The pure honesty of your dear one has to make you bust a gut! She expects acceptance of her honesty even if it is not “politically correct” in the car at the moment. So now you know where everyone stands on the subject of being a pain in the butt. LOL

You know, when our children really say the truth, you can move forward to help them or deal with them. She was warning you and trusting you to help her be like Sam and get over it. Sam had the inate ability to do it - to let go; she did not and was reaching out to you.

Only a child’s pure trust and honesty could do that with her parents. To me, that is a gift from God to have a human being open to understanding how to “move on” - that is the ability to know how to forgive in life. The key to happiness.


22 posted on 07/30/2010 1:42:25 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: MHGinTN
story of me and my grandmother’s chocolate cake from which the icing ‘mysteriously’ disappeared

I have a similar story from when I was younger. One morning, I woke up much earlier than both my mom and dad. Knowing there was a chocolate cake in the fridge, I helped myself to the frosting on it. Wanting my mom to know what a "good boy" I was, I went into their bedroom to wake them up. Story goes, I walked in, chocolate frosting smeared all over my face and said to my mom "I didn't eat any cake, Mommy. I didn't eat any cake..." True enough, I hadn't...but that frosting, that poor, poor frosting was outright destroyed. LOL.

23 posted on 07/30/2010 1:46:24 PM PDT by Andonius_99 (There are two sides to every issue. One is right, the other is wrong; but the middle is always evil.)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

“Then, he asked his father rather cautiously, “Dad, are poisonperries really poison?”


Laughing my ass off! You can’t be too careful when you are three! A little bit of knowledge is very dangerous! And you can trust dad, above all, to warn you about the possible poisoners of life!

I love the way toddlers take a piece of real information and misapply it, through their limited experience but expansive imaginations, to all that happens around them.

My sons did this often and provided much belly laughter to the adults around them. These observations are why we bother to live on earth as far as I am concerned! My husband and I bonded with the never ending the inside joke of life with children.


24 posted on 07/30/2010 1:52:56 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: ClearCase_guy

“A stone cold killer with a heart of ice. “

And a shifty ability to blame the dog! Unbelievable! Where did he come out knowing this crap! LOL


25 posted on 07/30/2010 1:54:47 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: Bosco

Only put as much of a drink in a child’s cup that you would not feel guilty about pouring down the drain.


Yes, they will waste the heck out of everything...until they find out “the people in China are starving!” lol


26 posted on 07/30/2010 1:56:47 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: MHGinTN

Oh, and no matter hwo well you clean up the tools used to scrap icing from layers of a cake (and in between, too), if you don’t wash your face, you’re gonna get busted.


I am laughing so much. The evidence...kids are not so good and foreseeing the covering of evidence.

After the baby made the dog the central suspect of killing plumby, we examined the damage and found no dog spit or tooth markes... Plumby was totally dry and w/o any holes! LOL So who did it?


27 posted on 07/30/2010 2:01:04 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: MHGinTN

Poor baby. Man, justice was clear in your house! Kids really are not sneaky enough to play outlaw. Best learn sooner than later. ;)


28 posted on 07/30/2010 2:09:00 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: Responsibility2nd

See, he knows that Plumpy is no good. They have taken him out of the most recent version of the game.


Noooooooo!


29 posted on 07/30/2010 2:10:04 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: radiohead

You gave your kid the respect of an answer to “wait.” That is something wise parents learn to respect because kids have a mind working 24/7 and need a lot of information!


“When my son was a toddler, he would sometimes take things from a store and we wouldn’t notice until we got home. There were many talks about the evils of theft, etc. I guess the lessons finally sunk in when he went to the store with his grandfather and said, very loudly, “We’re not going to steal anything today, are we grandpa?”’


Grandpa was God.


30 posted on 07/30/2010 2:14:29 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: jagusafr

1. “I’m telling you from experience, if your last name is [our last name], you can’t get away with anything. Learn this lesson early and save us all some trouble.”

2. [a corollary]: Experience is that thing you have just after you need it.


This was daddy in our family. No one can get away with anything! Me...I am more of a romatic. The two worked good together for comedy.


31 posted on 07/30/2010 2:18:44 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: SaraJohnson
One thing I have FINALLY learned. My son was “silent Cal”. If he came home from school and I'd ask him what he'd done in school, the standard reply was, “Nuthin’”. When his more ebullient friends would come home with him (as they most often did, i.e. Church of the Open Door), I'd find out they'd had an assembly, with a falconer who brought an American Eagle, a Falcon and other birds of prey and allowed them to fly free — nuthin’, huh? As he got older, I was beginning to think he really was being spirited away and not really in school (and, sadly, his grades reflected his disengaged persona). His dad and I despaired, both of us were very verbal (”theatrical”, as our son referred to us). On standardized tests, his vocabulary was off the charts, but not much came out of “silent Cal's” mouth. We resigned ourselves to the fact that he a) was mildly autistic or b) found us beneath his dignity ... ... UNTIL...

Last month. We got our first e-mail from him regarding his training at OCS. The e-mail was a page and a half long, perfectly punctuated, perfectly spelled and his grammar was A+. Still, I was suspicious (I thought he copied the paragraphs out of his text books.)... ... UNTIL...

Last weekend. He called at 7:13 a.m. our time. He spoke to us for 3 and a half hours (only giving us time to ask an occasional question for clarification [one which occurred to me was, Who are you and what have you done to my son??!?”]) My mother would tell me to be patient when she'd see my fallen face when he was young. She'd say, “Wait, he'll find the key and open the door. Just be patient.”

I can honestly say, HE'S OKAY! MY GOD AND SAVIOR, ALL MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED. I guess it's like the kid who never spoke until he came down one morning at age 25 and said his oatmeal was cold. His parents rejoiced and asked how this miracle of speech had occurred. The kid replied, “Up to now, everything has been all right.”

32 posted on 07/30/2010 2:23:13 PM PDT by Constitutions Grandchild
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To: Tax-chick

Ping to this thread. Who has more experience? :)


33 posted on 07/30/2010 2:25:27 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Constitutions Grandchild

Should be “training at TBS”, not “OCS”. That was done a year ago.


34 posted on 07/30/2010 2:26:35 PM PDT by Constitutions Grandchild
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To: Andonius_99

You poor thing. I took great pains at seven to lift the top layer and scrape the middle out, too. Since my granny was getting old and I assumed very forgetful, I placed the two cake rounds on the cooling rack, so she would think she had yet to frost it. I think that might have worked, but for my Grandfather sitting on the porch ... if I’d have used that side door instead of the front screen door, maybe I could have escaped!


35 posted on 07/30/2010 2:26:55 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Dem voters, believing they cannot be deceived, it is impossible to convince them when deceived.)
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To: Constitutions Grandchild

I am dancing the family jig for you!

Patience and faith is a major gift of family because we do get to see the truth of our babies sooner or later! Sometimes we have to wait for it and not lose hope and vision!

Thanks so much for sharing that piece of family wisdom with me. We have this experience with the second one. Strong, silent type...until he wasn’t.


36 posted on 07/30/2010 2:38:30 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: trisham

Heh, lots of people.

1. If your daughter wants to get a tattoo, make sure she got her Hepatitis C shot.

2. You can’t give your brothers away. Bill was 2-1/2 when Tom was born, and after about 5 days, he approached me very seriously and said, “Can you take Tom back to the hospital now? I’ve decided I don’t want a brother!” A few months later when we moved, he tried to persuade us to leave Tom at the old house. “I’m sure the new tenants would love him!”


37 posted on 07/30/2010 3:00:24 PM PDT by Tax-chick (John Wayne, Johnny Cash, John Deere)
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To: SaraJohnson

The look on his face was priceless as he watched his parents and siblings scarf down that pie! Fear mixed with curiosity. But he wasn’t taking a chance until we explained it. Then he enjoyed his pie too.


38 posted on 07/30/2010 3:01:29 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic (Southeast Wisconsin)
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To: Tax-chick

LOLOLOL! You are a gem. :)


39 posted on 07/30/2010 3:12:51 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: SaraJohnson

THis story is not about one of my kids, but about a little boy I observed at dog trainnig.

He was about 8-9 and he was there with his mother training their large St. Bernard. That dog was a lot to handle. They were taking their obedience test to advance to the next level, and Mom was handling the dog. She really wanted to get out of the basic class and didn’t trust the little boy to be able to take Brutus through his paces.

Brutus was not cooperating that night. He was a big, lumbering puppy and had a hard time with the “finish” command where he had to circle close around the handler’s legs and then sit right next to the handler’s left foot and wait for a command.

The mom and the dog tried it over and over and finally were eliminated from the exercise. She brought the dog over to where the little boy was waiting. I was within earshot when the boy said, “Mom, just spit in your hand and hold it down, and he’ll follow you anywhere!”

Next round, she did, he did, and they passed!


40 posted on 07/30/2010 3:20:50 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic (Southeast Wisconsin)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

That is way cool! A lot of kids do have a special understanding with pets We flunked out of dog training with Lilly, our Golden. She had a spring in her ass. But, her saving grace was that she had a tiny speck of doberman in her.

I was on the beach, early before the kids and dad were up and about. Lilly and I went for a walk and then I put my towel for a sun tan and nap. Well, a man came up to my feet and stood over me staring in a not so polite way. I felt his presense with my eyes closed and, startled, I opened my eyes to see him. Well, Ms. crazy Lilly caught a drift of the energy and started growling...and the perv’s eyes moved from me to her. She locked death eyes with him and he decided to move along...but not fast enough! LOL

The only one who could consistently get her to roll over, shake hands and stay was our son. He also was in charge of giving her pills and creams when she had a problem.


41 posted on 07/30/2010 4:03:39 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Can’t be too careful when you are three! ;)


42 posted on 07/30/2010 4:04:48 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: trisham

Thanks, trisham.


43 posted on 07/30/2010 4:37:12 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: SaraJohnson

3rd story.

My husband was stationed in the North Sea on a project that took months. We all were home alone. We had a female Siamese cat that was nutso. One night she climbed the plum tree, leapt over to the garage gutter, and scrambled up to the peak of the roof. There she stayed and howled piteously for about 3 days driving everyone in the neighborhood crazy. I think she was in heat and she wanted to be sure that every cat for bocks around would know it.

I had no way to get up on that roof to bring her down and no male adult home who could do it for me. I didn’t even have a ladder. The cat simply refused to come down no matter how much we coaxed. On the morning of the 4th day, my oldest son (about 9) came in with the cat under his arm.

“How did you get her down,” I asked.

“Easy,” he said, and then he showed me.

My garage door was the old fashioned kind that tilted up — a solid piece of wood that just flipped to open. He had opened a can of tuna and carefully balanced it on the edge of the door, positioning it against a molding so it wouldn’t slide off. Then, he carefully raised the door until it was all the way up with the edge just sticking out below the eaves. THe cat came over to the edge of the roof and hopped to the edge of the door to get the tuna. Then, he carefully lowered the door while she ate and grabbed her shen she got near to the ground.

So, I locked her into the basement with her food and water and where she could howl to her heart’s content for the rest of the week.

My advice:

1) Never own an unspayed female Siamese.
2) Ask your kids how to solve unsolveable problems. Often they know best.


44 posted on 07/30/2010 7:32:02 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic (Southeast Wisconsin)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

It is awesome how resourceful the boys are. (Girls are,too, but I only had sons.)

The thrilling things always happened when dad was away...like a huge pine tree falling on the house!


45 posted on 07/30/2010 10:05:28 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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