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DUmmie FUnnies 08-08-10 (Pitt is BACK!!!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 8, 2010 | William Rivers Pitt, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 08/08/2010 7:06:57 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

AA-OOGA! AA-OOGA! Call off the DUmber Alert! Throw out your milk cartons! He's BAA-AACK!!!

The Pittster, I mean! Yes, William Rivers Pitt, aka Pied Piper Pitt, is BACK in DUmmieland! After a three-month time-out for bad behavior--Wee Willie cussed out and threatened DUmmie bobbolink, aka Bobo the Hobo, a homeless WOMAN--the resident rock star/bad boy of the DUmp finally was readmitted after DUing DUe penance. Papa Skinner has let his Prodigal back in the house!

It happened last night. Punxsutawney Will stuck his head out of the ground with this THREAD, the succinctly titled, "Hey." And much rejoicing ensued! Our boy is BACK!! No reaction as yet, though, from the previously aggrieved Bobo the Hobo.

But before we get to the thread, since Pitt has ONCE AGAIN made a mea culpa and renounced his former views when they met with disapproval--Wee Willie is nothing if not a weathervane--we sing this golden oldie in his honor:

SELF-RECANTED EVENING
Tune: "Some Enchanted Evening"

Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him
Recant once again.

Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.

Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.

Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!

Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!

And now to . . . The Return of the Pitt! Bolshevik Red, brackets, you know the drill . . .

Hey

[Hey HEY!! It's PITT!!]

I have to go to work in 20 minutes. . . .

[20 business minutes. Bukowski's wants their bouncers there ON TIME!]

so I'm forced to make this quick and to the point.

[So unlike you, Will.]

I really, really, really f***ed up. . . .

[OK, let's get this mea culpa business out of the way and make it sound sincere. . . .]

and was banned.

[Banned, on the run. . . .]

The Admins recently decided to reinstate me. . . .

[After I paid them.]

I didn't deserve a second thought after the sh*t I pulled.

[I don't really believe that, though, because I am WILLIAM RIVERS PITT, fer cryin' out loud!]

I am truly sorry for my behavior.

[Is that enough groveling?]

I'm looking to be a good DU citizen from here on out.

[Yeah, right. The countdown is on till your next flare-up.]

So, hi. Don't call it a comeback. I've been here for years.

[Smiley-face back atcha, big boy! Yes, Will posted a smiley-face. Two of them, in fact. . . . Now the DUmmies react . . .]

wooooohoooooo !!

[WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Ok then...have a beer to celebrate 2nd chances.

[Pitt will have 2 beers for each chance--which puts him up to about 48 beers.]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Welcome home, Will, or should I say.......My dear Will!

[CaliforniaPeggy is positively ORGASMIC that her "dear Will" is back! . . . BTW, he still doesn't care for you, CaliforniaPeggy.]

Welcome back Will. Sh*t happens.

[Pitt happens.]

in your absence DU made sure that all of your FB postings were shared here.

[All his FBI postings? I didn't realize his crimes were that serious.]

(((HUGS))) ...to all. Off to work.

[Will, don't you think you're laying it on a bit thick? I mean, 17 smiley-faces with hearts?? Yes, 17!]

WILL!!!

[STILL!!!]

Welcome to DU!

[Hee! Hee!]

Another one back from the dead!

[Tombstones Aren't Forever.]

I have always so enjoyed your writing!

[Not as much as Will has!]

Tombstones ain't what they used to be. . . .

[A little payola to the mods, and all is well.]

You were gone?

[Rip Van DUmmie wakes up from a three-month nap.]

Chewing on republicans is much more fun with you in your seat at the table.

[benburch checks in.]

DU without Pitt is like Thanksgiving without the cranberry sauce.

[Or like a toilet without crap.]

wow, does this mean a reprieve for lots of others who were banned for lesser offenses?

[And so it starts. The Pitt Backlash.]

Hasn't been the same without you Will.

[Not as much crap.]

Nice!

[That's Doug's ex-wife, EFerrari, welcoming back Will. Sorry, Beth, you and CaliforniaPeggy are forgetting that Mr. Pitt is a married man now.]

By the way, how much did you pay Skinner to get back in???

[No, I did NOT see this post earlier!]

Your voice has been missed.

[Your gravelly, smoke-cured voice.]

Interesting how values go around here. Dissent not forgiven. Threats are. Weird.

[Money talks.]

Hey, c'mon now. It's an election year. The DLC needs all the help they can get.

[Hee! Hee! A slam against Will the Shill, Reliable Party Hack.]

Some posters, I guess, are just more equal than others.

[Pitt is the most equalest one of all, down on Skinner's Animal Farm.]

I'm not fond of the fact that no-one ever explains these internal DU scandals. I log on to DU six times a day, but I didn't see anything about this.

[You need to read the DUmmie FUnnies, philly_bob! We were all over it like white on rice.]

Apparently he threw down the guantlett in real life and wanted to bust some guy up.

[It was not a *guy*. It was a GAL, a homeless WOMAN! Big, strong Willie!]

All pretty amusing, in a nauseating sort of way.

[That's Pitt in a nutshell! Heck, that's *DUmmieland* in a NUtshell!]

I made some very vivid physical threats against another DUer. I deserved the ban in Technicolor.

[A WOMAN, Pitt, a WOMAN!]

The New Will Pitt sure is a buzz kill.

[Too remorseful, too nice. But don't worry, it won't last.]

Welcome back Sir Pitt.

[Sir William Pitt the Drunker.]

DU's own prodigal son returns. . . .

[Kill the fattened tofu!]

The Pitt with nine lives. . . .

[And furiosity killed eight of them.]

Plumb tickled to see your shiny pate once again.

[Paste Pated Pitt.]

Just remember, nine strikes and you're really out. Or maybe ten. Or eleven.

[Keep going. . . .]

You're an extremely smart & valuable member, and traps are being laid as we speak. For your own survival, please don't take the bait. . . .

[Survival of the Pittest.]

apparently rules don't apply to Mr BigShot himself.

[Nope! Not if you're a "star" and you pay off the mods!]

I hope I don't get banned for dissing the egomaniac. . . .

[Prepare for tombstoning in 5, 4, 3. . . .]

I expect an accurate count of your lucky stars within 24 hours.

[To which Pitt replies with his own DUFUesque retort . . .]

You mean business hours, I assume.

[Hee! Hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; piedpiperpitt; pitt; williamriverspitt

Properly Penitent Pitt


1 posted on 08/08/2010 7:07:00 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: Charles Henrickson

2!


2 posted on 08/08/2010 7:08:06 PM PDT by knews_hound (Credo Quia Absurdium--take nothing seriously unless it is absurd. E. Clampus Vitus)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Pitt gave Skinner a case of soju and an ultimatum.

Pitt is back.


3 posted on 08/08/2010 7:09:25 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar (*)
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To: knews_hound

IBTP?


4 posted on 08/08/2010 7:10:19 PM PDT by BattleHymn
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

Pied Piper PING!


5 posted on 08/08/2010 7:10:43 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Pitt is BACK!!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

In before the ping? Top 10!


6 posted on 08/08/2010 7:10:59 PM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: BattleHymn

Ya gotta be quick brother !


7 posted on 08/08/2010 7:11:44 PM PDT by knews_hound (Credo Quia Absurdium--take nothing seriously unless it is absurd. E. Clampus Vitus)
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To: Incorrigible

7?


8 posted on 08/08/2010 7:11:56 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Charles Henrickson
DU without Pitt is like Thanksgiving without the cranberry sauce.

How very un-DUmmy-like. Proper DUmmese:

"DU without Pitt is like Thanksgiving without guilt."

9 posted on 08/08/2010 7:12:58 PM PDT by randog (Tap into America!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

HE HAS ARISEN!!!!


10 posted on 08/08/2010 7:13:52 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: randog

Life just isn’t the same without the Pittster’s monotonous, self absorbed navel gazing.


11 posted on 08/08/2010 7:15:19 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’m surprised it took so long


12 posted on 08/08/2010 7:15:40 PM PDT by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards.com <--- My Fiction/ Science Fiction Board)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I expect an accurate count of your lucky stars within 24 hours.

Would that be 24 business hours?

13 posted on 08/08/2010 7:17:05 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Charles Henrickson

This sissy made a physical threat?

Against what?

A baby duck?


14 posted on 08/08/2010 7:20:51 PM PDT by Eaker (Pablo is very wily)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Ooooooo....I am just SO excited about this news. LOL!

He IS good for a few laughs, though!


15 posted on 08/08/2010 7:22:43 PM PDT by LUV W (DIMs?......start packin'--you're fired!....I can see November from my house!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
What, no Bobo yet? Looks like we'll have to wait until Monday for the library to turn their internet access on! Photobucket
16 posted on 08/08/2010 7:27:56 PM PDT by BattleHymn
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To: Eaker; Roscoe Karns
This sissy made a physical threat? Against what? A baby duck?

Yeah, but the duck struck first:


17 posted on 08/08/2010 7:30:40 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Pitt is BACK!!!)
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To: Eaker

A homeless broad.


18 posted on 08/08/2010 7:39:59 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Build a man a fire; he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire; he'll be warm the rest of his life)
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To: Charles Henrickson
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Welcome home, Will, or should I say.......My dear Will!


Mmmmmm-wahhhhhhh!*slurp*

19 posted on 08/08/2010 7:45:44 PM PDT by LUV W (DIMs?......start packin'--you're fired!....I can see November from my house!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

LOL!

That is TOO funny!


20 posted on 08/08/2010 7:49:16 PM PDT by Eaker (Pablo is very wily)
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To: Cyber Liberty

He really IS a tough guy!


21 posted on 08/08/2010 7:49:52 PM PDT by Eaker (Pablo is very wily)
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To: Eaker; Charles Henrickson

A WOMAN. Shocking stuff!!!


22 posted on 08/08/2010 7:50:21 PM PDT by LUV W (DIMs?......start packin'--you're fired!....I can see November from my house!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top Anti-Business 24...


23 posted on 08/08/2010 7:51:02 PM PDT by FDNYRHEROES (In just His first 3 days, the War on Terror became the War on Free Speech.)
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To: GeronL

OK, a show of hands on who knew that this would happen ;-)


24 posted on 08/08/2010 7:59:55 PM PDT by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: LUV W

No kidding!


25 posted on 08/08/2010 8:09:41 PM PDT by Eaker (Pablo is very wily)
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To: Charles Henrickson

A day without pit is a day without moonshine...


26 posted on 08/08/2010 8:17:16 PM PDT by bcsco (First there was Slick Willie. Now there's "Oil Slick" Barry...)
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To: bcsco; Charles Henrickson
A day without pit is a day without moonshine

.......or a day without mooning, even....

27 posted on 08/08/2010 8:19:14 PM PDT by LUV W (DIMs?......start packin'--you're fired!....I can see November from my house!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Well, well, well...


28 posted on 08/08/2010 8:37:49 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Penitent Pitt, the prodigal git.


29 posted on 08/08/2010 8:38:35 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: randog
"DU without Pitt is like Thanksgiving without guilt."

Happy Guiltgiving.
30 posted on 08/08/2010 8:49:00 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Charles Henrickson
[WOO-Hoo! Top 35!]

Good Song Charles. Excellent lyrics :-)

btw, You & PJ should start a 'DUmmie FUnnie Pitt Pool'.

On how long it'll be before Wee Willie walks off from DU in a huff again. Or gets drunk and threatens another WOMAN and gets Tombstoned once more.

31 posted on 08/09/2010 4:40:22 AM PDT by Condor51 (SAT CONG!)
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To: BattleHymn

Yeah, looking forward to Bobolink’s input.


32 posted on 08/09/2010 4:59:32 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Irreverence is not to be confused with irrelevance)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I think that bouncer “job” is pretty much of a front. Pitt needs a “job” to show some source of income other than his Trust Fund Baby payments so Bukowski’s gets him on the cheap since he hangs out there anyway. Most likely he drinks away way more than they pay him so it is like a freebie and Pitt gets to claim to be among the proletariat.


33 posted on 08/09/2010 5:03:30 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Irreverence is not to be confused with irrelevance)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Wow, Pitt’s had more chances than Slick Willie’s had interns.


34 posted on 08/09/2010 12:51:59 PM PDT by kingu (Favorite Sticker: Lost hope, and Obama took my change.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“Don’t call it a comeback. I’ve been here for years.”

Those are the lyrics to “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J.


35 posted on 08/09/2010 4:20:53 PM PDT by RatsDawg
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To: Charles Henrickson
You were gone?

LOL!

36 posted on 08/09/2010 5:49:16 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
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To: Roscoe Karns; PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; ...
UPDATE:

311. Locking

Locking at OP's request.

cbayer
DU Moderator

This is FUnnie! Even in his Return to DUmmieland, Pitt causes a stinkeroo! You see, a number of members of the LGBT the GLBT the homo community were stomping their little feet, unhappy that the Pittster got preferential treatment by being reinstated, while their homo tombstonees are still on the outside looking in. So Wee Willie didn't like this, and he had the thread locked!

37 posted on 08/09/2010 8:09:58 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Pitt is BACK!!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Willbert!


38 posted on 08/09/2010 8:13:53 PM PDT by mylife (Opinions $1 Halfbaked 50c)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Wee Willie didn't like this, and he had the thread locked!


Wee Willie has a hissy fit.


39 posted on 08/09/2010 8:19:58 PM PDT by LUV W (DIMs?......start packin'--you're fired!....I can see November from my house!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

[Survival of the Pittest.]

Hilarious!


40 posted on 08/09/2010 8:20:41 PM PDT by mylife (Opinions $1 Halfbaked 50c)
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To: Eaker

A homeless woman.


41 posted on 08/09/2010 8:22:27 PM PDT by mylife (Opinions $1 Halfbaked 50c)
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To: BattleHymn

Now Now...tsk tsk tsk


42 posted on 08/09/2010 8:23:11 PM PDT by mylife (Opinions $1 Halfbaked 50c)
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To: Army Air Corps

Hey. If Obama could get a Nobel, Pitt could get a Pulitzer...


43 posted on 08/09/2010 8:25:51 PM PDT by mylife (Opinions $1 Halfbaked 50c)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Pitt should turn gay and then they can all be happy


44 posted on 08/09/2010 9:07:29 PM PDT by woofie
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To: Charles Henrickson

Interesting to put a face to one of the DUmmies.

It’s everything I imagined a DUmmie would be.

And by that, I mean a pathetic little “mama’s boy”, living in his parents’ basement, playing D & D in his underwear, with similarly clad losers.


45 posted on 08/09/2010 10:14:54 PM PDT by airborne (Why is it we won't allow the Bible in school, but we will in prison? Think about it.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I have to go to work in 20 minutes. . . .

DUmmie has a job - details at 10.


I am truly sorry for my behavior.

Are you also sorry for voting for zero?


(((HUGS))) ...to all. Off to work.

[Will, don't you think you're laying it on a bit thick? I mean, 17 smiley-faces with hearts?? Yes, 17!]

The only reason Pitt has 17 smiley-faces, means he has 17 friends on DU.


You were gone?

[Rip Van DUmmie wakes up from a three-month nap.]

Probably a three month acid trip or jail time.


Some posters, I guess, are just more equal than others.

Good for me but not for thee.


The New Will Pitt sure is a buzz kill.

And buzz kill is a code word for super DUmmie!


apparently rules don't apply to Mr BigShot himself.

[Nope! Not if you're a "star" and you pay off the mods!]

Rules are for little people, don't ya see.

46 posted on 08/10/2010 5:01:14 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Remember in November. Clean the house on Nov. 2. / Progressive is a PC word for liberal democrat.)
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To: LUV W
Not just any woman, but, (GASP!) A HOMELESS WOMAN!

OH, THE HORROR!


47 posted on 08/11/2010 11:18:22 AM PDT by dirtbiker (Obama has yet to nominate anyone more qualified than he is....)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Temporary Sock Puppet is back after three months? To the day?
Who won the pool?


48 posted on 08/12/2010 10:10:14 PM PDT by Ignatz (I'm telling you that I don't mind telling you...)
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