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False Alarm, Evacuation at Capitol; Senator Arrested [SATIRE]
My Twisted Little Brain | August 12, 2010 | Pan_Yan

Posted on 08/12/2010 10:05:56 AM PDT by Pan_Yan

Washington- The Capitol was briefly evacuated this morning when a fire alarm pull station was activated on the senate floor after an argument amongst the South Carolina delegation. Senator Lindsey Graham (REPUBLICAN) was later arrested by Capitol Police in a bed room at John McCain's (REPUBLICAN) nearby town home and charged with the false alarm.

Unnamed sources present on the floor at the time say Senators Graham (REPUBLICAN) and Jim DeMint (REPUBLICAN) were having a heated discussion over Graham's recent vote in favor of Elaine Kagan’s successful nomination to the United States Supreme Court, as well as his general squishiness. It appears that at the height of the argument Senator DeMint (REPUBLICAN) slapped Senator Graham (REPUBLICAN) with a rolled up two page copy of the United States Constitution.

“He just sort of froze,” said one witness. “I couldn't tell whether he was going to cry or snap. He snapped.”

According to sources Senator Graham then screamed “I sick and tired of you and your Tea Party bitches!” and unleashed a tirade of obscenities. His rant is also said to have included references to ‘hick country folk’ and ‘reaching around the aisle’. He then pulled the fire alarm, grabbed a bottle of Chablis from the Senate mini fridge and slid down banister to the lobby. Witnesses say he then sped off in his pink Mini Cooper headed toward Georgetown.

Capitol Police picked up the Senator about an hour later at the town home of close friend Senator John McCain (REPUBLICAN) after receiving a call from the Senator's daughter, Meghan McCain (REPUBLICAN) who was hosting a brunch for former Journolist members at the time.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dontquityerdayjob; dumb; facepalm; idiotic; imadethisup; notfunny; parody; satire; satirefail; stoopid; terribleawfulcrap; unfunny; wastedbandwidth

1 posted on 08/12/2010 10:06:00 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: Pan_Yan

Satire...


2 posted on 08/12/2010 10:07:18 AM PDT by SumProVita (Cogito, ergo...Sum Pro Vita. (Modified Decartes))
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To: SumProVita

That’s why I added that to the keywords.


3 posted on 08/12/2010 10:08:08 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: SumProVita

I know but I was still wishin’ it was true....


4 posted on 08/12/2010 10:08:55 AM PDT by nevergore ("It could be that the purpose of my life is simply to serve as a warning to others.")
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To: nevergore

I’d settle for DeMint just slapping him with the Constitution.


5 posted on 08/12/2010 10:11:27 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: Pan_Yans Wife

Ping.


6 posted on 08/12/2010 10:12:30 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: nevergore
"I know but I was still wishin’ it was true...."

Why'd you have to tell us that it's satire?

7 posted on 08/12/2010 10:12:30 AM PDT by davisfh
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To: SumProVita

>>>Satire...

Not really, Just crap.


8 posted on 08/12/2010 10:13:04 AM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Iowa floods, Obama vacations. Moochelle Obama, please pass the cake.)
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To: Pan_Yan

I figured out it was satire, when there was reference to a copy of the constitution being in the Senate Chambers


9 posted on 08/12/2010 10:17:12 AM PDT by Boiling point (Beck / Palin 2012)
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To: Boiling point
I figured out it was satire, when there was reference to a copy of the constitution being in the Senate Chambers

I had to put something in there to separate it from the real news.

10 posted on 08/12/2010 10:21:45 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: Pan_Yan

Add it to the title.


11 posted on 08/12/2010 10:26:07 AM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Hail To The Fail-In-Chief)
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To: Pan_Yan

Gay.


12 posted on 08/12/2010 10:30:17 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (~"This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Amber Lamps !"~~)
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To: SumProVita

LOL


13 posted on 08/12/2010 10:36:27 AM PDT by NonValueAdded ("Obama suffers from decision-deficit disorder." Oliver North 6/25/10)
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To: Pan_Yan

I’m not entirely sure you understand the concepts of satire or humor. Lame though, pretty sure you’ve got that in spades.


14 posted on 08/12/2010 10:38:15 AM PDT by BigGaloot
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To: BigGaloot

There’s been rumors to that effect.


15 posted on 08/12/2010 10:40:13 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: Pan_Yan

Dang! For about two sentences there I was thinking Santy Claus might actually be REAL! Then it sank in! Only a pipe dream from some creative visionary. By the way, Pan_Yan, could you tell me where you bought the funnly little cigarette you were smoking when you wrote that?


16 posted on 08/12/2010 10:43:39 AM PDT by Tucker39
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To: Pan_Yan

It sounded perfectly locgical until the pink mini cooper I don’t think they come in pink.


17 posted on 08/12/2010 10:49:11 AM PDT by chris_bdba
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To: SumProVita

Attempted satire.


18 posted on 08/12/2010 10:49:29 AM PDT by Mr. Lucky
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To: Pan_Yan

Grab two beers and jump.


19 posted on 08/12/2010 10:53:44 AM PDT by Excellence ("A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.")
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To: Pan_Yan

http://www.hulu.com/watch/169969/late-night-with-jimmy-fallon-jet-blue-song-the-ballad-of-steven-slater


20 posted on 08/12/2010 10:56:06 AM PDT by Excellence ("A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.")
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To: Pan_Yan
A pink mini-Cooper?

Gotta love it!

21 posted on 08/12/2010 10:56:50 AM PDT by Logic n' Reason ("Buzzard's gotta eat; same as worms.")
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To: chris_bdba
I know. It was over the top. A pink Mini Cooper is redundant. Satire is hit or miss, which is why I seldom try it. I just stick to snarky comments on other threads like everyone else.

Some days your the windshield, today I'm the bug.

22 posted on 08/12/2010 11:03:39 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: Tucker39
could you tell me where you bought the funnly little cigarette you were smoking when you wrote that?

Nope. If the demand goes up so will prices. Free market economics and all that.

23 posted on 08/12/2010 11:13:03 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: Pan_Yan

Oh it’s great I only know they don’t come in pink because we looked at them recently. :)


24 posted on 08/12/2010 11:23:56 AM PDT by chris_bdba
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To: Pan_Yan

“There’s been rumors to that effect.”

The reason I don’t like Lindsey G is that if he is Ghey, they left can use that as leverage to control him, and there is little doubt he is a puppet of the left.


25 posted on 08/12/2010 11:24:12 AM PDT by GraceG
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