Skip to comments.False Alarm, Evacuation at Capitol; Senator Arrested [SATIRE]
Posted on 08/12/2010 10:05:56 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
Washington- The Capitol was briefly evacuated this morning when a fire alarm pull station was activated on the senate floor after an argument amongst the South Carolina delegation. Senator Lindsey Graham (REPUBLICAN) was later arrested by Capitol Police in a bed room at John McCain's (REPUBLICAN) nearby town home and charged with the false alarm.
Unnamed sources present on the floor at the time say Senators Graham (REPUBLICAN) and Jim DeMint (REPUBLICAN) were having a heated discussion over Graham's recent vote in favor of Elaine Kagan’s successful nomination to the United States Supreme Court, as well as his general squishiness. It appears that at the height of the argument Senator DeMint (REPUBLICAN) slapped Senator Graham (REPUBLICAN) with a rolled up two page copy of the United States Constitution.
“He just sort of froze,” said one witness. “I couldn't tell whether he was going to cry or snap. He snapped.”
According to sources Senator Graham then screamed “I sick and tired of you and your Tea Party bitches!” and unleashed a tirade of obscenities. His rant is also said to have included references to ‘hick country folk’ and ‘reaching around the aisle’. He then pulled the fire alarm, grabbed a bottle of Chablis from the Senate mini fridge and slid down banister to the lobby. Witnesses say he then sped off in his pink Mini Cooper headed toward Georgetown.
Capitol Police picked up the Senator about an hour later at the town home of close friend Senator John McCain (REPUBLICAN) after receiving a call from the Senator's daughter, Meghan McCain (REPUBLICAN) who was hosting a brunch for former Journolist members at the time.
That’s why I added that to the keywords.
I know but I was still wishin’ it was true....
I’d settle for DeMint just slapping him with the Constitution.
Why'd you have to tell us that it's satire?
Not really, Just crap.
I figured out it was satire, when there was reference to a copy of the constitution being in the Senate Chambers
I had to put something in there to separate it from the real news.
Add it to the title.
I’m not entirely sure you understand the concepts of satire or humor. Lame though, pretty sure you’ve got that in spades.
There’s been rumors to that effect.
Dang! For about two sentences there I was thinking Santy Claus might actually be REAL! Then it sank in! Only a pipe dream from some creative visionary. By the way, Pan_Yan, could you tell me where you bought the funnly little cigarette you were smoking when you wrote that?
It sounded perfectly locgical until the pink mini cooper I don’t think they come in pink.
Grab two beers and jump.