Posted on 09/02/2010 1:17:54 PM PDT by HushTX
This weekend I'm going out of town to visit family. First we're going to see my wife's side of the family, and following that we're going to see my parents and younger sisters. Part of me is looking forward to this, part of me is dreading it.
I will be telling both sides of the family that I am joining the Army. Seems like a good thing, right?
Here's the problem: My wife and I have decided that she will be moving and taking a job near her family. This means giving up her current job and taking a $10K a year pay cut from what she makes now. This decision was made entirely because I will be gone for an undetermined amount of time- I haven't signed yet, so don't know how long AIT and such will be- and this will be the first time in her life she will be living on her own. I want her to have family around so she has a good support network. Unfortunately, her father learned about her plan to take a different job with a pay cut, but does NOT know it is because I am going into the military. As you might expect, he came unglued. I can understand. If we were just moving and losing 10K a year that would seem insane, especially given the state of the economy.
I had hoped to have my contract signed already and be on DEP so that this weekend could be a positive reveal, a nice surprise that most of the family will respect and be excited about. Instead, it has turned into something negative because of the drama that has ensued. Bring on the curse of the in-laws, I guess.
On the other hand, I have no idea how my parents are going to react. I expect them to be supportive, since I almost joined the Army quite a few years ago. Circumstances led me down a different path, but I've decided to finally finish what I started. I think they will understand, but even if they don't it's my life. Still, I wanted to make it a nice occasion.
In any event, look back to what I said about my wife's father. I know he is very pro-military, and I think he would normally accept and support this. However, I am dreading this weekend's gathering because he is so livid over the whole mess, due to having only half the story. HOW this happened, I am not sure, but that's irrelevant. All I know is that this man is not known for his patience or his tolerance, or his ability to keep his cool. I know he has a great deal of passion when it comes to taking care of his family, and I know right now he sees this as an irresponsible and STUPID step, and is probably cursing my name for putting his daughter in such a bad position. Honestly, though, while she will be taking a $10K a year cut, together our annual income will increase because of my enlistment, my educational opportunities (that I have been struggling with) will improve, and I will finally be able to satisfy my desire to serve.
I don't know what I am looking for with this post. Maybe advice on how to handle it. Maybe input from fathers who have had daughters in similar situations, or husbands who have gone through similar. Maybe all I need is a "go get 'em, Tiger" from my fellow FReepers, whose support and fellowship I have always valued. Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest and am fine with nobody giving a damn.
All I really know is that this is going to be one damn wacky weekend, and if things go south it's going to make basic training seem like a paradise in my mind's eye. Man... I really hate family gatherings.
Update for you bro.
Gimme a call this week so I can fill you in on the details.
WHY?
What are you going in for?
Meaning what type of job are they promising you?
Why do you want to join the Army? You do know that Muslim Brotherhood and other Islamics have infiltrated the entire govt, military, Pentagon and are leaking intel to Al Qeada and the Taliban on how to kill our troops more effectively.
All of TV supports Obama. I would not be joining they army when a m**lim is in control.
You have to do what YOU want, and what you think is right. I get along well with my in-laws, but in the early years of our marriage, I based some of my decisions on what my family thought. Now, I do what I think is right. Life is a never ending learning experience. You’ll make good decisions and bad decisions. If they are bad, the good thing about them is that they are learning experiences that you’ll profit from later on. Go with what your gut tells you. Good luck.
Two things....
1) you can’t pick your family
2) thanks in advance for your service to our country!
Sometimes it isn’t good timing to see relatives. Tell them you think your wife brought home the flu from work.
I congratulate you on your decision to join the military and wish you Blessings and God Speed.
As to your family situation. Can you email your father in law first and explain the situation to him? Sometimes it is easier to put it in writing and he can read it and there would be no face to face confrontation.
That would also help you test the waters, so to speak, and know what you should be prepared for, actually. You might end up nicely surprised.
If no emailing is possible...go there wrapped in a flag or the most patriotic get up you can muster. Dress like Uncle Sam or something. But something that would initiate a comment and questions from the other relatives about why you dressed that way. (Not just wearing a red shirt and blue pants but a real patriotic costume type outfit)
Then, you can reply to the family that you are dressed the way you are...because...and tell them about your enlistment plans. That should get you a lot of support and probably even the father in law would be softened and caught off guard and not going to make any nasty remarks about the daughter's job change. Just a thought, anyway. Good Luck.
The Army under Obama means you are a MUCH bigger target, you cannot shoot back, you have mu*l*ms in the ranks who want to kill you, mu*l*ims in the intelligence part of the former USA leaking intel to the Taliban and Al qeada to kill our troops.
Keep watching TV folks cause they keep serving up 24x7 propaganda. I support the military 100% but the islamics want to make sure as many of our troops get killed as possible.
I think the UK got better because they kicked out the labour party and intel leaks to the enemy stopped. Not in the islamoUSA. Our poor kids are being pawned.
Courtesy ping!
How old are you?
Is there some overriding reason you have to do this right this second rather than wait a couple of years for a hopefully better economy?
I admire your desire to serve, but this REALLY doesn’t seem like the right time to give up ANY stable job, let alone take a $10,000 hit in the bargain.
I'm assuming you and your wife are in your early 20s or so.
Do you plan to make the military your career? (Don't dismiss this...I only did 4 years...if I had stayed in, I could have been drawing retirement and benefits in my 40s...I kick myself daily for not having done so.)
If you don't plan to stay in (or even if you do), is your M.O.S. in a field that you can use in civilian life?
Let them know (and make the commitment to yourself) that you will be using the education benefits, both while you are in and after you get out, to their fullest extent.
If they see that you both are making serious, well thought-out, future-conscious decisions for your life and that of your wife, it will be easier to accept.
Your FReep page says you’re 29.
So why are you acting like a scared little kids - all worried about the approval of your parents and hers?
Sorry - I don’t mean to be unkind here - but you’re making a man’s decisions - and good for you! - so don’t get your knickers in a knot over what the parents may say.
@Jenny,
I would generally agree with you.
HOWEVER, I have been struggling with MY work situation for some time now. I have been struggling with my education, as in finishing my degree, and as such any job worth a darn has been out of reach for some time. The one opportunity I thought would work out fell through.
So, enlisting now is actually going to IMPROVE our finances. We will effectively be doubling our income once my pay begins. Additionally, while my wife is working, the department in which she works is up for review by the state, and there is always the chance that it will not be approved in the budget and cuts will have to be made. There’s no guarantee she’ll have anything at that point.
Hope that clears that issue up.
How old are you?
____________________________
I wondered the same thing. So I checked his FReep page. He’s 29.
Hard to believe, huh?
At your age I would only join the air force and only as an officer candidate. Just my opinion.
Example - Infantry - 13 weeks for Basic and AIT. Not really that long a time period and NO reason for your wife to quit her job...
Alright Jane Fonda, we all hear you, America sucks and no one should enlist.
Are you saying that the only reason that you served was because of who the President was?
No worries.
Pax used to post here and I remain pretty fond of her.
Just humor.
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