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Senator Says Fire Shows Need to Ban Oil Drilling
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 4 Sep 2010 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/05/2010 4:36:33 PM PDT by John Semmens

The fire at a Mariner Energy Inc. oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico has spurred calls for even stricter controls over who might be allowed to drill where for oil. This particular well is too shallow to have been covered by President Obama’s moratorium on deep water drilling.

Both the fire and the fact that the well fell outside the President’s ban was a matter of “grave concern” to Senator Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ).”If nothing else, this disaster is further proof that oil drilling is an inherently dangerous practice one that we must stop,” Lautenberg said.

“Most people don’t realize that our cars are powered by mini-explosions of gasoline in the vehicles’ engines,” Lautenberg said. “This strikes me as an unnecessarily dangerous way to get around. The sooner we can get everyone onto electric, wind or solar-powered vehicles the safer we’ll all be. Maybe banning all further drilling for oil is the best way to achieve this.”

Lautenberg said he would also consider levying a tax on vehicles that use petroleum-based fuels in order to subsidize the production of alternatively powered ones. “Right now electric vehicles are out-performed by gasoline-powered ones,” he observed. “But if drivers had to pay a hefty tax for this higher performance they might be more willing to put up with the inferior capabilities of an all-electric vehicle. Of course, in an ideal world if everyone took public transportation the poor performance of electric power wouldn’t be so obvious.”

In related news, the Obama Administration announced a new federal “grading system” for cars. The idea is to encourage alternatives to gasoline-powered vehicles. Cars running on gasoline will receive a grade of “D.” Vehicles powered by electricity, wind, solar, or foot-pedals would receive grades from “C” to “A” depending upon how impractical they are.

(Excerpt) Read more at azconserv1.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Travel
KEYWORDS: autos; drilling; energy; satire

1 posted on 09/05/2010 4:36:36 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

How old is Lautenberg anyway, 146?

It seems that old sh*t just won’t go away.


2 posted on 09/05/2010 4:38:31 PM PDT by ScottinVA (The West needs to act NOW to aggressively treat its metastasizing islaminoma!)
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To: John Semmens
The 0bama regime will be funding research into nonflammable petroleum.
3 posted on 09/05/2010 4:39:33 PM PDT by reg45
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To: John Semmens
“Most people don’t realize that our cars are powered by mini-explosions of gasoline in the vehicles’ engines,” Lautenberg said. “This strikes me as an unnecessarily dangerous way to get around."

Yes, because that's such an UNPROVEN method of firing an engine. New Jersey.... PLEASE.... next time around, but that old, senile turd out to pasture!

4 posted on 09/05/2010 4:41:17 PM PDT by ScottinVA (The West needs to act NOW to aggressively treat its metastasizing islaminoma!)
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To: John Semmens

dangerous? Going to the moon was dangerous. going to Anarctica is dangerous. heck - walking in Detroit or New Orleans is dangerous.


5 posted on 09/05/2010 4:41:21 PM PDT by plain talk
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To: ScottinVA

but=put


6 posted on 09/05/2010 4:42:04 PM PDT by ScottinVA (The West needs to act NOW to aggressively treat its metastasizing islaminoma!)
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To: ScottinVA

It’s just lame satire.


7 posted on 09/05/2010 4:43:41 PM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Hail To The Fail-In-Chief)
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To: John Semmens

Is Lautenberg still breathing?

He has taken the longest “Weekend at Bernie’s” in the history of the world.

Lautenberg is one extended farce. Makes you wish for “The Torch” back. At least “The Torch” was upfront about his corruption.


8 posted on 09/05/2010 4:45:57 PM PDT by alloysteel ("If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.")
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To: John Semmens
Senator Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) shouldn't even be in the Senate.

Unfortunately corrupt judges on the New Jersey Supreme Court rewrote New Jersey election laws in the middle of an election.

9 posted on 09/05/2010 4:46:15 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This post is not a statement of fact. It is merely a personal opinion -- or humor -- or both.)
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To: John Semmens

Frank should have stayed retired ! I also remember that he was a big proponent of keeping the speed limit at 55 mph. He is this rich executive and want us lowly serf to put up with more of the elite’s bull$h!t ! He should be first in line to get inconvenienced by his crazy notions !


10 posted on 09/05/2010 4:46:31 PM PDT by CORedneck
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To: John Semmens
A plausible as the article sounds, this is satire, Ladies & Germs....

;^)

11 posted on 09/05/2010 4:58:27 PM PDT by kromike
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To: John Semmens
Yes, drilling offshore is very dangerous, but we have to do it to provide the American people with energy. Too bad we didn't open up more of the North American Continent (onshore) to exploration or built about a thousand more nuclear plant.
12 posted on 09/05/2010 5:01:14 PM PDT by 2001convSVT ("Repeal ObamaCare")
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To: John Semmens

It really is so difficult to write political satire these days. I used to enjoy writing it, but it’s hard to write irony and ridicule as even anything so far extreme as to be on the edge of unbelievable has become ordinary and believable by the libtards. You can’t really come up with anything so ridiculous that there isn’t one of them on record as having said or done it.

Vices, follies, abuses and shortcomings are all so common that it’s almost impossible to hold them up for ridicule. And as soon as you do, one of the libtard poiliticians will certainly do everything they can to exceed it or prove it true.

I’ve totally given up writing any political satire and reading articles written as satire seem to miss the mark as so many people will actually believe they’re true. Or all they’ll have to do is wait awhile for the libtard pols to step in it and make it just a prediction, not satire.

I hope God blesses our country soon. It’ll be beyond even His power to fix if we let the pols go much further. (And yes, that’s irony and hyperbole.)


13 posted on 09/05/2010 5:01:16 PM PDT by hadit2here ("Most men would rather die than think. Many do." - Bertrand Russell)
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To: John Semmens

This guy is a nutball. He is insane and probably needs a diaper change. Call Bawney Fwank to do that little job.


14 posted on 09/05/2010 5:06:53 PM PDT by shankbear (Al-Qaeda grew while Monica blew)
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To: John Semmens
Doesn't Frank know that David says we can put out fires with gasoline.

15 posted on 09/05/2010 5:12:03 PM PDT by Waverunner
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To: John Semmens

“Vehicles powered by electricity, wind, solar, or foot-pedals would receive grades from “C” to “A” depending upon how impractical they are.”

HAA HAA HAAAAAA!


16 posted on 09/05/2010 5:14:12 PM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: John Semmens; All
John, I don't care if your name is all over this. Democrats have gone so far 'round the bend, Drudge could link to this, and people would deem it acceptable behavior from those lunatics. It's pretty bad when a worthy effort at satire ends up looking mainstream. (Through no fault of your own.)

"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away, for his name is Obama."

17 posted on 09/05/2010 5:27:36 PM PDT by Viking2002 (2010 - NO PRISONERS! NO QUARTER!)
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To: kromike
A plausible as the article sounds, this is satire

I noted that it was satire, but it is difficult to view it as such when it is within the realm of possible things that Lousenberg would say.... (I lived in Jersey for 15 years..)

Maybe it's predictive news...

18 posted on 09/05/2010 5:29:59 PM PDT by NoCmpromiz (John 14:6 is a non-pluralistic comment.)
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To: Psycho_Bunny
It’s just lame satire.

LOL!! aw man... sure is. But it sounded so... Dem.

19 posted on 09/05/2010 5:33:50 PM PDT by ScottinVA (The West needs to act NOW to aggressively treat its metastasizing islaminoma!)
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To: hadit2here

The /s tag isn’t really useful anymore. It has come to have the same meaning as the /L tag (liberal.)


20 posted on 09/05/2010 5:38:55 PM PDT by arthurus (Read Hazlitt's "Economics In One Lesson.")
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To: ScottinVA

What does he use for transportation?


21 posted on 09/05/2010 5:43:22 PM PDT by Quickgun (As a former fetus, I'm opposed to abortion. Mamas don't let your cowboys grow up to be babies..)
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To: John Semmens

It’s getting harder and harder to separate satire from the rantings coming out of Washington these days. This regime is one long bad joke.


22 posted on 09/05/2010 6:08:41 PM PDT by YankeeReb
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To: John Semmens

what a dick


23 posted on 09/05/2010 7:10:58 PM PDT by 1st Division guy
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