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DUmmie FUnnies 10-23-10 (Excitement building for Restore Sanity Rally!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 23, 2010 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 10/23/2010 11:35:49 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson

The One Nation Rally three weeks ago was, as even one DUmmie admitted, "a disaster": boring, embarrassing, poorly attended. But, BUT, the upcoming Stewart-Colbert Rally will be different! Hip, cool, FUnnie--everyone who's anyone will be there--be there or be square! Yes, Stewart's "Rally to Restore Sanity"/Colbert's "March to Keep Fear Alive" NEXT SATURDAY, one week from today, will TRULY be The Day When Everything Finally Changed! Suddenly the light bulb (one of those ecofriendly corkscrew lightbulbs, of course)--the light bulb will go on all across America, and voters will, because of the collective intelligence, wit, and coolness on display at this rally, change their minds and decide to vote Progressive Democratic three days later on Election Day.

So all the DUmmies will be there, right? This will be the Mother Of All DUmmie Meet-Ups! It won't be so deathly dull as the One Nation thingie, we'll feel like we're doing something for The Cause, and, most importantly, everybody can meet for drinks and smokes and getting wasted and laid afterward! ROAD TRIP!! Witness the wave of enthusiasm building up in this THREAD, "Sanity Rally, are you going? Do you support it?"

Oh, but if you're going to the Restore Sanity Rally, you might want to give a thought to how you're going to Restore Sanitation. We'll explain when we get to this THREAD, "Great. 10-30 attendees will be accused of being full of sh*t."

So cross your fingers and cross your legs that THIS rally will turn the tide! The DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who will be washing his hair next weekend and thus can't make it, is in the [brackets]:

Sanity Rally, are you going? Do you support it?

[Of COURSE! ALL the DUers will be there! How could you even ASK such a question?]

Just curious of the temperature of DU towards this rally.

[Hot to trotsky!]

I for one have a room right across the street from the WH.

[I'll let the Secret Service know.]

Also, I will be conducting random interviews with rally goers to put a video together.

[Giving new meaning to "going viral."]

[Thank you, DUmmie Soral, for that scintillating promotion of this rally, which doesn't really NEED any promotion, though, since all the DUmmies, 100%, will be there at this Event of the Year--nay, Event of the DECADE! Now let's hear the wave of excitement building among your fellow rally attendees . . .]

Oh, I certainly support it.

[Yes! One more to add to the countless throng!]

Unfortunately I can't attend.

[Oops!]

Damn would I love to. If for no other reason, just to be a head in the crowd.

[Oh, we know you would be there if you could. And I'm sure we can survive with just one less person there. I mean, just think, a SEA OF HUMANITY, as far as the eye can see, rallying, standing together, righteous and cool, so many of us. . . .]

Hell, I walked 10 miles from College Park to DC for the 20th anniversary MLK Jr. march. THAT was cool! I met a lot of really great people there, on the way, and on the way back - including a group on the way there that had attended my high school in Columbia the first year it opened. My oldest two daughters were there for President Obama's inauguration.

[Uh, OK, we know you're not going to be there this time. I'm sure you have your reasons. No need to list your bona fides. . . .]

There's nothing like a crowd on the mall.

[And something tells me this will be nothing like a crowd. . . . Alright, let's hear from the next excited customer . . .]

I support it and will probably go. gotta figure out the logistics.

[Let the excuses begin!]

There are lots of free rides from NYC, but not back. . . .

[So just MOVE to DC! A REAL progressive would be willing to do this!]

I am NW PA and I have kids!!

[Details!]

I'm going.

[Yes! I knew it! I knew I could count on you, Mz Pip! A DUmmie in whom there is no guile!]

I'm working on sign ideas.

[RESTORE SANITY TO AMERICA: LET'S ALL MOVE TO CANADA]

yes, sign ideas.....Still working on those as well.

[OBAMACARE: IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS]

I'm going and bringing a couple of friends! Staying 1.6 miles from the mall

[If you get within 1.5, they call the mall cops.]

i wish i could go. but am i texas and cant do the trip. will watch though. excited about it.

[OK, so scratch THREE people who will not be there. Disappointing, but still, only three. And, and . . . yes, there will be MILLIONS of us there anyway, hundreds of thousands MINIMUM--all of us righteous, cool, changing minds all across America through the powerful medium of television, the whole nation tuning in, learning and laughing as we all will be--tens of thousands of us maybe, a sea of. . . .]

Going from Atlanta!! Meeting brother from Columbus!!

[WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Goodbye Columbus, hello DC! Hello VICTORY on November 3!]

With bells on!

[Liberty bells! Sanity bells! Yes!]

Check the weather... May be poncho time

[Uh oh! You mean it could RAIN?? I don't know now. . . .]

Support what?

[Huh, what?]

If I could only afford the plane ticket...

[WALK!]

[Well, I'm sure there will be SOME people there. Daily Show staffers, at least. But it turns out there could be a problem or two for those who attend. Problem #1 and Problem #2, as we now discover . . .]

Great. 10-30 attendees . . .

[Is that the date or the projected attendance?]

. . . will be accused of being full of sh*t

[That goes without saying. But, pray, tell me more . . .]

D.C. toilet shortage is Keeping Fear Alive

["Toilet shortage"?? Wha-aa??]

WASHINGTON -- The calls of nature may be particularly loud at an upcoming D.C. event if attendees don't have a place to "go."

[Stay outta da bushes!]

Comedy Central organizers are having a hard time finding port-o-potties for their rallies . . . after the Marine Corps Marathon planners snatched up about 800 of them for the same weekend.

[Hee! Hee! The moonbats will have to battle the MARINES for toilets! Can you SEE a DUmmie coming up to a MARINE and asking to use the toilet? "Excuse me, Mr. Evil Military-Industrial Complex Man whom I despise and loathe with every fiber of my being--speaking of fiber, I've REALLY got to go, you see, and I was wondering if. . . ."]

The organizers of Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity and Stephen Colbert's March to Keep Fear Alive . . . have asked the marathon staff to share the portable toilets with their 65,000 expected to attendees.

[The rallies will now be called "Restore Sanitation" and "Keep Your Legs Crossed."]

But the Marines aren't budging -- they plan to lock the toilets until the morning of their race the day after. . . .

[I love it! Let's hear the DUmmies' reaction . . .]

I read the Baggers were trying to tie up all the buses for this. How about potties? wouldn't put it past them...

[It's a constipation conspiracy! The Marines, the teabaggers, probably Fox News. . . .]

No Sh*t

[That's what it will come down to!]

Colbert said to dress up as your worst fear. I'd suggest going as a colostomy bag. . . .

[The Teabaggers vs. the Colostomybaggers! The Marines vs. the Moonbats! The Battle of Port-o-potty Hill! Yes, it will be . . . The Day When Everyone, Finally, Had to Change!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: colbert; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; restoresanity; sanity; stewart
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Only 65,000 expected? There are high school football games in Texas with bigger crowds! Must be a typo. 65 MILLION is more like it!
1 posted on 10/23/2010 11:35:54 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

PING!


2 posted on 10/23/2010 11:39:26 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Day When Everyone, Finally, Had to Change!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

IBTP?


3 posted on 10/23/2010 11:39:41 AM PDT by chesley (Eat what you want, and die like a man.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Maybe these clowns should be the guys the ‘rats run for the White House in ‘12 - God knows they’d be an improvement over Biden and Barry.


4 posted on 10/23/2010 11:41:40 AM PDT by Chi-townChief
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To: Charles Henrickson
Only 65,000 expected?

But those are the hippest of the hip, the coolest of the cool-the avant garde!

5 posted on 10/23/2010 11:43:11 AM PDT by Colonel Kangaroo
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To: chesley

I would go but I am having a boil lanced that weekend.


6 posted on 10/23/2010 11:46:10 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (Remember March 23, 1775. Remember March 23, 2010)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Bump.


7 posted on 10/23/2010 11:46:43 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Colonel Kangaroo

“I don’t often drink beer - but when I do, it’s Dos XX.”

(Exhale smoke from cigarette holder held cigarette).


8 posted on 10/23/2010 11:47:47 AM PDT by SnuffaBolshevik
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To: Charles Henrickson

Just have to say thank you for these threads!


9 posted on 10/23/2010 11:48:23 AM PDT by prisoner6 (Right Wing Nuts are holding The Constitution together as the Loose Screws of The Left come undone!)
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To: EQAndyBuzz

Beer - nose - keyboard...you owe me, LOL!


10 posted on 10/23/2010 11:51:21 AM PDT by prisoner6 (Right Wing Nuts are holding The Constitution together as the Loose Screws of The Left come undone!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

People who put their futures and the future of their country in the hands of two two-bit comedians don’t deserve port-a-potties. I hope the “expert”, crowd head counter from Salazar’s Department of the Interior has laid in some pooper scoopers for his NPS Rangers. They’re going to need them with this FOS mob.


11 posted on 10/23/2010 11:52:58 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Which are you voting for on November 2nd? Freedom and liberty or FREE ice cream?)
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To: chesley
IBTP?

Which, in the context of this post, must mean Incoherent Blithering Trotskyite Pinheads, right? ; )

12 posted on 10/23/2010 11:53:53 AM PDT by Tamar1973 (Germans in 1932 thought they were voting for change too.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Great work as usual


13 posted on 10/23/2010 11:54:24 AM PDT by moodyskeptic (Cultural warrior with a keyboard)
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To: Charles Henrickson
DC will sink for sure under all that added weight.
14 posted on 10/23/2010 11:55:23 AM PDT by JPG (Sarah Palin says: "Buck-up or get out of the truck.")
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To: JPG
DC will sink for sure under all that added weight.

DC will STINK for sure under all that added . . . weight.

15 posted on 10/23/2010 11:57:24 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Day When Everyone, Finally, Had to Change!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Charles,

The bleating of excuses by the Dummies has truly inspired you. I laughed out loud at just about every single line.

This is your Citizen Kane, your Mona Lisa. You’ve created your masterpiece.


16 posted on 10/23/2010 12:01:33 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (Anti-abortion atheist, conservative Bostonian)
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To: Larry Lucido

“Bumps” don’t work anymore.


17 posted on 10/23/2010 12:02:20 PM PDT by aquila48
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To: Charles Henrickson

LOL !!!!

I see the begging has started.

Need a ride, need a place to stay, need some walking around money, need a babysitter, need a plane ticket, need a bathroom ...

I need to see some pictures ! Someone better take pictures !


18 posted on 10/23/2010 12:08:29 PM PDT by Jacktown
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To: Charles Henrickson
Damn would I love to. If for no other reason, just to be a head in the crowd.

Confucius say: Better to be ahead of crowd rather than head in crowd...

19 posted on 10/23/2010 12:27:17 PM PDT by mikrofon (Confucius vs. the Confused)
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To: Charles Henrickson
D.C. toilet shortage is Keeping Fear Alive

D.C. toilet shortage is "Keeping Feces Around"

20 posted on 10/23/2010 12:34:54 PM PDT by mikrofon (I'd Fear walking there...)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Can you SEE a DUmmie coming up to a MARINE and asking to use the toilet?

In the immortal words of General Tommy Franks:

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

21 posted on 10/23/2010 12:35:11 PM PDT by eddie willers
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To: Charles Henrickson
Woo-Hoo.
#1 'Working on Saturday'(1) post!

(1) working of my Photoshop account :-)

22 posted on 10/23/2010 12:36:03 PM PDT by Condor51 (SAT CONG!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Comedy Central organizers are having a hard time finding port-o-potties for their rallies . . . after the Marine Corps Marathon planners snatched up about 800 of them for the same weekend.

Watch out for that Halls of Montezuma's Revenge...

23 posted on 10/23/2010 12:41:10 PM PDT by mikrofon (DU Corpsemen)
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To: Tamar1973

Yes, except that it gives them too much credit :)


24 posted on 10/23/2010 12:44:38 PM PDT by chesley (Eat what you want, and die like a man.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Millions! Well, hundreds of thousands certainly! Well, maybe tens of thousands anyway!

How about, a sea of dozens!


25 posted on 10/23/2010 12:53:20 PM PDT by Newtoidaho (Liberals are drooling buffoons backed by satanic goons.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Wonderful! A live, in your face, Liberal Freak Show on TV! What a blessing for Nov. 2!


26 posted on 10/23/2010 1:25:23 PM PDT by pabianice
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To: Newtoidaho

You can safely bet $1,000 that all the pictures will be close-ups to try and conceal the non-turnout.


27 posted on 10/23/2010 1:26:29 PM PDT by pabianice
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To: Charles Henrickson
I support it and will probably go.
gotta figure out the logistics.

Translated into English:

  1. I'm surrounded by dam Pizza Boxes, how do I get out of mommy's basement? (oh well, i'll have to dismantle my Fort)
  2. Hmmm? Will mom let me use her car?
    (dam those fascist cops for arresting me again for DWS (Driving While Stoned) and confiscating my Gremlin)
  3. Will mom loan me the money for Bus Fare? (Prolly not since I haven't worked since 1995. But I'm sure she'd like me out of the house for a few days to fumigate the Basement.)
  4. Do I have enough dope to hold me over for the trip to DC? (I knew I shudda asked for a Kilo of Pot and some more Meth. But noooooo, the %$#$ing pusher cut off all my credit and wanted actual money! Well I'll show him, I'll get Dope on Credit from another pusher!)
  5. If I get to DC where do I sleep? Park Benches are out and I can't even afford a room at a 'SRO' Flop House. (Hey! I can crash at a 'shooting gallery' in Da Hood. Junkies are harmless when they're zonked out on H. Yeah, that'll work.)
  6. Okay. I've got the Logistics worked out, but now where do I pee at the Rally? (I guess I can 'go' in a bottle.)
  7. But dammit, what about going #2? I can't drop my pants in a bush, I'd get busted for sure. Plus I have no toilet paper.
  8. That does it. The trip's Off.

I have no toilet paper.

28 posted on 10/23/2010 1:36:23 PM PDT by Condor51 (SAT CONG!)
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...
A second PING for a BONUS PARODY!

SANITY RALLY
Tune: "San Francisco"

If you're goin' to Sanity Rally
Be sure to wear some stronger underwear
If you're goin' to Sanity Rally
You're gonna need some toilet paper there

For those who come to Sanity Rally
Bathroom time, there'll be a long line there
In the streets at Sanity Rally
Pent-up people with fragrance in the air

All across the Potomac
Such a strange aroma
People in motion
There's a whole demonstration
With advanced constipation
People in motion, people in motion

For those who come to Sanity Rally
Be sure to wear some stronger underwear
If you come to Sanity Rally
Bathroom time, there'll be a long line there

If you come to Sanity Rally
Bathroom time, there'll be a long line there . . .

29 posted on 10/23/2010 1:43:08 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: Charles Henrickson
LOL! I hope you have a DU account so you can post it there -- they need a theme song! ;-)
30 posted on 10/23/2010 1:53:54 PM PDT by maryz
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To: Charles Henrickson

Excellent! LOL!


31 posted on 10/23/2010 1:59:28 PM PDT by lonevoice (Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I hope they get 42 deg rain.


32 posted on 10/23/2010 2:00:54 PM PDT by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Charles Henrickson

ROTFLOL!

I swear, this is one of the best ever. I’ll have to savor it again later. Still LOLing.

You were truly inspired with this one; I will admit the material was redolent with possibilities. Fertile compost - I mean ground.

HA HA HA HA!~

hee hee hee....


33 posted on 10/23/2010 2:03:27 PM PDT by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.CSLewis)
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To: Tamar1973; chesley

IBTP - In Before the Toilet Paper?


34 posted on 10/23/2010 2:04:43 PM PDT by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.CSLewis)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Perhaps they should attempt to secure Depends as a sponsor.


35 posted on 10/23/2010 2:07:46 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Charles Henrickson
The organizers of Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity and Stephen Colbert's March to Keep Fear Alive . . . have asked the marathon staff to share the portable toilets with their 65,000 expected to attendees.

[The rallies will now be called "Restore Sanitation" and "Keep Your Legs Crossed."]

___________________________________________

Keep poop confined!
36 posted on 10/23/2010 2:11:18 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Excrement building at the rally?


37 posted on 10/23/2010 2:11:56 PM PDT by listenhillary (A very simple fix to our dilemma - We need to reward the makers instead of the takers)
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To: little jeremiah
I will admit the material was redolent with possibilities.

Redolent indeed! Bolshevik Redolent!

38 posted on 10/23/2010 2:13:43 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Day When Everyone, Finally, Had to Change!)
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To: little jeremiah

Bowelshevik Redolent? It’s a movement!


39 posted on 10/23/2010 2:15:35 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Day When Everyone, Finally, Had to Change!)
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To: listenhillary
Excrement building at the rally?

Very good! Touché.

40 posted on 10/23/2010 2:17:28 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Day When Everyone, Finally, Had to Change!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

OMG !!

BWAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!

That is HILARIOUS !


41 posted on 10/23/2010 2:18:26 PM PDT by Jacktown
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’d poo poo this rally, but I suspect those there will be doing that to extremes...

Don’t go picking up leaves until you look under them...


42 posted on 10/23/2010 2:20:19 PM PDT by bcsco (Karl Rove, from Magnificent Bastard to Malignant Bastard in one day...)
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To: mikrofon
Watch out for that Halls of Montezuma's Revenge...

ROTFLOL! This one is really bringing out the amateur talent!!

43 posted on 10/23/2010 2:24:45 PM PDT by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.CSLewis)
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To: Charles Henrickson

They really want to put the pressure on...


44 posted on 10/23/2010 2:31:47 PM PDT by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.CSLewis)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Damn would I love to. If for no other reason, just to be a head in the crowd.

Because there are not enough heads in the crowd, that's the problem. Thank you, USMC!

45 posted on 10/23/2010 2:32:01 PM PDT by lonevoice (Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music)
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To: little jeremiah; mikrofon

It’s Commode-y Central!


46 posted on 10/23/2010 2:33:02 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Day When Everyone, Finally, Had to Change!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
You are on a ROLL! I'm cracking up at your responses to the DUmmie comments and then I saw the "If You're Going to San Francisco" parody and laughed so hard, I think I woke up my next-door neighbor.

Brilliant stuff!

47 posted on 10/23/2010 2:38:50 PM PDT by Allegra (Pablo is very wily.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I'm working on sign ideas.

BUSH: No child left behind
0BAMA: No child left a dime.

I saw it on facebook and thought it was a riot.

48 posted on 10/23/2010 2:53:07 PM PDT by infidel29 (Since 0bama is NOT a uniter, can we change the acronym to just plain P.O.S.?)
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To: EQAndyBuzz
I would go but I am having a boil lanced that weekend.

I predict that although this thing is gonna bomb, America's sock drawers will be incredibly well-organized.

49 posted on 10/23/2010 3:41:02 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (Anti-abortion atheist, conservative Bostonian)
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To: Colonel Kangaroo
But those are the hippest of the hip, the coolest of the cool-the avant garde!

Did they get enough port-a-potties or are these sophisticates going to do their business in the bushes?

50 posted on 10/23/2010 3:44:36 PM PDT by Mike Darancette (11/2/10-Democrat Party is shovel ready)
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