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Resident Evil: Afterlife ... the movie sucks !!!
subcorpus

Posted on 11/03/2010 7:39:52 AM PDT by subcorpus

Hello.

Most guys would love the scantily clad girl shooting double-guns or doing the twin-sword thing. I was a fan of sexy Milla Jovovich shooting zombies all around while doing impossible acrobatics. I thought she was real badass! I was a fan till the end of the second movie, if you think about it now, it may have been one movie too long!

The direct sequel to Resident Evil was Resident Evil: Apocalypse. The third movie was Resident Evil: Extinction. Now comes Resident Evil: Afterlife. I was not expecting this movie to be made, as Resident Evil: Extinction was a total waste of time.

In all these movies, Alice, is infected with T-virus which was manufactured by the evil Umbrella corporation. Apparently she is the only one who has successfully bonded with this T-virus, giving her superhuman abilities. She fights to avoid capture, fights to survive, fights to rescue others, fights to kill zombies and fights to stop evil in general. Did I mention she fights?

I did not enjoy this movie, it sucked! Thinest plot ever. You are here, you go there, shoot zombies on the way, kill the boss, twice! Credits roll. Also, zombies have become more of a petty nuisance rather than scary walking dead. There were no edge of the seat sequences and no jump scares. Every zombie movie has jump scares, right? No, not this one. It seems this movie is less about character or story and more about how many CG effects you can incorporate in every scene. CG effects were nice, though.

Ali Larter (Niki Sanders from Heroes) and Wentworth Miller (Michael Scofield from Prison Break) was around as well. Did zilch for the movie.

One thing you would undoubtedly notice is the abundance of slow motion in the movie. It was not badly done, just unnecessary and futile. It felt like 3/4 of the whole movie was in slow motion. I think you can watch the movie in half hour if you watch it at regular speed. Yes, it was that bad!

May be the movie was made to be watched in 3D only, because the the regular version I watched was a total let down. I think exploding brains inches from your face might have its uncanny appeal. Anyone, who has watched it in 3D please feel free to tell me I am wrong. I actually would like to be wrong this time.

I think the title of this movie, Resident Evil: Afterlife, is quite appropriate, mostly because Resident Evil franchise has been long dead.

Laterx.


TOPICS: TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: afterlife; movie; residentevil; sucks

1 posted on 11/03/2010 7:39:56 AM PDT by subcorpus
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To: subcorpus

It’s a movie based on a VIDEO GAME. What did you expect?


2 posted on 11/03/2010 7:42:14 AM PDT by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to say it)
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To: subcorpus

I think my infatuation with Milla Jovovich has reached epic proportions. I thought the first RE was stupid, but I kinda liked it because of MJ. The second was utterly awful, but I watched it because of MJ.

The third...I kinda liked. It had this tacky cheap 70’s scifi tone to it that I enjoyed. Stupid as hell, but MJ looked fine.

I’ll catch the fourth one someday because of MJ, but these are crappy films.


3 posted on 11/03/2010 7:44:11 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 ( Mm, your tears are so yummy and sweet!Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Mm-yummy! --E. Cartman)
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To: subcorpus

Dude you have the wrong site no one cares...


4 posted on 11/03/2010 7:45:27 AM PDT by USSR Didnt Fall
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To: subcorpus
Thinest plot ever. You are here, you go there, shoot zombies on the way, kill the boss, twice! Credits roll.

That pretty much describes the previous three, too.

When you pay money to watch a movie based on a video game, really, you have nothing to complain about as long as they loaded film into the camera. Either accept it, or stop wasting your precious time and money on stuff you know going in is time-wasting crap.

5 posted on 11/03/2010 7:46:05 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 ( Mm, your tears are so yummy and sweet!Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Mm-yummy! --E. Cartman)
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To: subcorpus

Hollywood and America’s entertainment industry in general, is really scraping bottom now. The fall is complete.


6 posted on 11/03/2010 7:47:17 AM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: subcorpus

I left the movie when my gf complained, i couldnt argue with her really the movie sucked so bad. I actually enjoyed the previous ones, but this was just bad


7 posted on 11/03/2010 7:49:38 AM PDT by hannibaal
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To: subcorpus
IMO Resident Evil: Extinction was surprisingly good. I'm looking forward to Number 4.
8 posted on 11/03/2010 7:50:15 AM PDT by agere_contra (...what if we won't eat the dog food?)
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To: subcorpus

You forgot to plug your blog......


9 posted on 11/03/2010 7:55:18 AM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA ("The View" is the new Maury Povich inspired "Fight Club in Heels")
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To: subcorpus

I refuse to watch 3-D movies.

That is all.


10 posted on 11/03/2010 7:57:45 AM PDT by chris37
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To: subcorpus

It ain’t no “My Dinner with Andre”... that’s for sure.


11 posted on 11/03/2010 8:01:13 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Pablo lives jubtabulously!)
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To: subcorpus

Good review. Thanks for the warning.


12 posted on 11/03/2010 8:02:55 AM PDT by Tainan (Cogito, ergo conservatus - Domari Nolo)
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To: subcorpus

I never got into any movies or shows where tiny thin women beat up huge hulking guys no matter what excuse they dream up to attempt to make this plausible. It just is not realistic any way you try to shovel it.


13 posted on 11/03/2010 8:06:14 AM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: Puppage
"...It’s a movie based on a VIDEO GAME. What did you expect?..."

I dunno, but DOOM was pretty OK. But that had a female in a white tank top who may or may not have been wearing a bra.

Yes, I am indeed a fan of the classics.

14 posted on 11/03/2010 8:28:55 AM PDT by I Buried My Guns (Novare Res!)
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To: subcorpus; RandallFlagg
My wife and I ended up talking about what our laundry situation was at home, during the movie.

It's that bad.

Worst-3D-zombie-movie-ever ping to Randall.


Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

15 posted on 11/03/2010 8:49:25 AM PDT by The Comedian (I really missed you. Next time, I'll adjust for windage.)
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To: subcorpus

It wasn’t that bad, a quick little shoot em up with some hot chicks...didn’t expect any more then that and didn’t get any more.

They could however start making some movies based off games with really good story lines. Halo, Mass Effect, Bioshock, and of course Half-Life should all be priorities.

And of course the reboot of Mortal Kombat (just kidding :) )


16 posted on 11/03/2010 9:04:10 AM PDT by Raymann
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To: CholeraJoe; Delta 21; Nikas777; NoAmnesty; Yorlik803; TheOldLady; The Comedian; OB1kNOb; ...

Half-hearted ping. Thinking about going guerrilla on the librats here in Colorado over what they've done to MY state.
I DID just get a new printer, after all.
(heh-heh-heh!!)
17 posted on 11/03/2010 2:27:56 PM PDT by RandallFlagg (Let this chant follow BHO everywhere he goes: "You lie. You lie. You lie.")
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To: chris37

Just curious, but why do you refuse to watch 3-D movies?


18 posted on 11/03/2010 2:36:31 PM PDT by HushTX (Yep. It's confirmed. Liberals are all idiots.)
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To: subcorpus

The movie sucked. It was awful. And yet, I had a few geek moments.

My wife and I went to see it because we had just played through RE5 together. I had finished the game within a day of its release, but it took a while to get her to play. She really liked it, so we saw the movie.

The ONLY enjoyment came from geeking out over the RE5 homage.

The best part of the night was the hamburger I ate.


19 posted on 11/03/2010 2:38:06 PM PDT by HushTX (Yep. It's confirmed. Liberals are all idiots.)
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To: subcorpus

Look, it’s a brain dead movie, with a hot babe and shoot-em-ups. ya kinda know that going in. Just put your brain on hold and watch. It ain’t Gone with the Wind for crying out loud.


20 posted on 11/03/2010 3:10:31 PM PDT by Doomonyou (Let them eat Lead.)
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To: HushTX

Firstly, I get motion sickness very easily.

But secondly, they are so bad. Until they learn to make a good 2-d movie, I se eno point in wacthing a 3-d movie.

I offer Piranha remake as an example.


21 posted on 11/03/2010 11:53:42 PM PDT by chris37
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To: chris37

Well, I can’t really argue with that! Good points.


22 posted on 11/04/2010 2:35:23 AM PDT by HushTX (Yep. It's confirmed. Liberals are all idiots.)
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To: chris37
I se eno


23 posted on 11/04/2010 3:33:32 AM PDT by Skooz (Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us)
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To: Skooz
Saw David Byrne/Brian Eno two years ago during their North America Fall 2008 tour. Great show.
24 posted on 11/04/2010 8:03:49 AM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
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