Top TSA Slogans On Twitter

Twitter ^ | 11/15/10 | Various

[careyb]

Here are my favorites:

Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants.

Grope discounts available.

If we did our job any better we'd have to buy you dinner first.

Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.

Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.

Throw a few back at the airport Chili's and you won't even notice.

Wanna fly? Drop your fly.

We've handled more balls than Barney Frank

We are now free to move about your pants

We rub you the wrong way, so you can be on your way.

It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.

When in doubt, we make you whip it out.

TSA: Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'

You were a virgin.

We handle more packages than the USPS

[70th Division]

We need a little fun on this forum once in a while. Loved the video of the 13 year old getting a motarcycle escort from vetrans. Warmed my heart.

[Rightly Biased]

bttt

[Salamander]

I run with a small group of witty-but-giddy FR pranksters.
Would you like me to ping you to our outbursts of random, [occasionally innapropriate] serial madness?....:)

We have a great time...even when we try to out-obscure-reference each other to the point that none of us has any idea what we were initially talking about....LOL

[hawkboy]

TSA = Thousands Squeezing A**es

[boxerblues]

Im am sure there will video up on youtube the first time some hajab wearing women only gets a head pat down

[careyb]

Great one!

[Celtic Cross]

I’ve just been reading TSA’s website. They have a special page for hajj pilgrims (gag) but nowhere did it say that muslim women are actually exempt from pat-downs or scans. Does anyone where the TSA specifically said that muslim women are exempt from searches?

[Eagle of Liberty]

I’m really of mixed minds on this. I can see that there is a real risk of terrorists smuggling bombs onboard unless people are thoroughly checked. But the TSA appears to focus more attenton on grannies than anyone else. The constitution isn’t super clear on this point, because the TSA would simply deny that their searches qualify as unreasonable.

Was recently at an airport and while going through screening, they had the full body scan and people being patted down. Turns out the people that they "randomly" chose to go through the full body scan ALSO got patted down. One such unlucky person was a well-endowed woman. Not only did she have to go through the full body scan because she beeped while going through the metal detector because of the wire in her underwire bra, but then they patted her down.

While walking by her being patted down, I heard the agent say, "Sorry about this." and the lady said, "That's okay. I had to go through the pat down last week too and while patting me down, they told me to raise my arms. I did but they said to raise them higher. I told them I couldn't because my shirt would open up. The agent moved my arms up higher and my blouse popped open, so I have already shown the world my stuff once."

[boxerblues]

CAIR wants them exempt not the TSA but knowing our pussified government they will cave in to CAIR

[Eaker]

We wear rubber gloves to protect us from you, but notice we use the same pair to search all of you.

Great point!

[LatinaGOP]

I’ve got the perfect solution. Have the TSA agents hold trays of bacon and offer a slice to the passengers. If you don’t take the bacon, you have to go through the scanner and/or have the pat down. It’s a win/win for non-terrorists. I mean, come on, dude, it’s BACON! Yum!

[Celtic Cross]

Bacon is enlightenment. Embrace it!

[Acrobat]

Your profile says you're crazy
But we can see you're nuts

[painter]

The next time I fly I'll make sure I eat something the day before that causes me to pass gas. I can make wallpaper come off the walls if I eat the right suff.

So mister TSA Your hands fo below my waist your nose will remember for along time.

[ErnBatavia]

"Don't touch my Junk....."

[TexasRepublic]

I heard a song on YouTube called “You Lift Me Up”. Now imagine a new title, “You Feel Me Up”.

[television is just wrong]

ok, but it was in the news over the weekend...

[yorkie]

Good one, Latina! Another suggestion: All TSA agents will have a vial of pig’s blood. They will put one drop on everyone’s wrist - those that accept it, go straight through to the boarding area. Those that deny it, will be scanned, patted down, given a body cavity search, and must submit to an explosive trained dog - sniffing every body opening. (And, they will then PRAY that the dog isn’t hungry!)

[yorkie]

You know, pork is the achillies heel for the Muslims. I have been saying that for years - (but, as usual - no one really hears.......LOL!)

I posted three years ago, that a vial of pig blood be hung in every cabin of every commercial airliner - tagged in Arabic and English - “FRESH PIG’S BLOOD”.

No Muzzie would dare blow up a flight with pig’s blood on it - because they would know that one drop of the disgusting swine blood on them would send them to hell forever, and they would have no chance to get their 72 virgins! (Little do they know - the ‘virgins’ all are over 72 years old, and look like Helen Thomas!)

[Rightly Biased]

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