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Media Mogul Urges Stringent Birth Control
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 11 December 2010 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/13/2010 9:15:49 AM PST by John Semmens

Media billionaire Ted Turner urged world leaders to impose a sort of “cap-and-trade” system for live births in order to reduce the global population. Under the Turner plan, each person would be entitled to participate in procreating one child. This right could be sold or used.

“There are just too damn many people,” Turner complained. “Everywhere I go there are crowds of people. A person can’t get any solitude or privacy anymore. We can’t go on like this. We’ve got to put a lid on this thing before it’s too late.”

Turner argued that making the procreative right transferable “would help overcome the reproductive imbalance we see around the globe. Prosperous and intelligent people are having too few children. On the other hand, the stupid and impoverished masses are breeding like rabbits. If we clamp down, yet give them the option of selling their birth rights they can trade their poverty for prosperity by selling to someone who can afford to pay for it.”

“A vigorously enforced plan could halve the population in each succeeding generation,” Turner observed. “In only ten generations we could get the world population down to a more manageable 6 million total. And most of those, I’m betting, would be the offspring of superior stock.”

Turner has five children—a feat he considers “in line with my proposal, inasmuch as I would’ve been willing and able to pay for the privilege if my plan had been in effect.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconserv1.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: capandtrade; fakebutaccurate; georgiaguidestones; population; reproduction; satire; tedturner

1 posted on 12/13/2010 9:15:54 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

[ On the other hand, the stupid and impoverished masses are breeding like rabbits. ]

Shows his contempt for Humanity.


2 posted on 12/13/2010 9:18:19 AM PST by GraceG
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To: John Semmens

He wants the world population down to 6 million? Seems like a pretty aggressive goal.

Can’t he just go to some of his rangeland in Nebraska or whatever and be alone?


3 posted on 12/13/2010 9:18:58 AM PST by NEMDF
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To: John Semmens

*YAWN*


4 posted on 12/13/2010 9:19:40 AM PST by Psycho_Bunny (Hail To The Fail-In-Chief)
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To: GraceG

A Version of the 12 Days of Christmas from the NEA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_zasAMvuy18


5 posted on 12/13/2010 9:19:58 AM PST by Fred (Suspend All Immigration Until Unemployment is Reduced to 5%)
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To: John Semmens
“Everywhere I go there are crowds of people. A person can’t get any solitude or privacy anymore. We can’t go on like this. We’ve got to put a lid on this thing before it’s too late.”

Yes, I saw that interview! Didn't he also complain that his heating bill had gone up, and these frickin' breeders should stop using so much damn fuel?
6 posted on 12/13/2010 9:20:17 AM PST by Christian Engineer Mass (Leftys who zone in on Palin miss the point. America's not about single figures. That's for NK/Cuba.)
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To: John Semmens

I agree with Ted Turner on this one.All illegal alien’s should be sterilized to prevent them from having multiple kids on the American Taxpayers dime.


7 posted on 12/13/2010 9:21:51 AM PST by puppypusher (The World is going to the dogs.)
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To: John Semmens

“There are just too damn many people,” Turner complained. ‘

I know how to reduce the surplus population of idiot billionaires by one! No one would miss him either!


8 posted on 12/13/2010 9:22:55 AM PST by Jim from C-Town (The government is rarely benevolent, often malevolent and never benign!)
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To: John Semmens

Good satire rests on the principle that the truth is usually stranger than fiction. This is a good satire.

Ted Turner is a megalomanic globalist nut. So is George Soros, but he has much, much more money. Money talks.

BTW, China’s one-child policy has resulted in the 100 million-strong Chinese Peoples’ Bachelor Army (”We Are Deployable and Horny”).


9 posted on 12/13/2010 9:26:10 AM PST by elcid1970 ("I don't like Islam and I don't trust Muslims.")
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To: elcid1970

turner has 5 adult children. Will he be killing four of them soon (just to be consonant with his desires for the planet)?


10 posted on 12/13/2010 9:29:27 AM PST by hal ogen (1st Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
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To: John Semmens
Media billionaire Ted Turner urged world leaders to impose a sort of “cap-and-trade” system for live births in order to reduce the global population. Under the Turner plan, each person would be entitled to participate in procreating one child. This right could be sold or used.

“There are just too damn many people,” Turner complained. “Everywhere I go there are crowds of people. A person can’t get any solitude or privacy anymore. We can’t go on like this. We’ve got to put a lid on this thing before it’s too late.”

If there weren't so "damn many people", the audience size would negatively affect the advertising rates for your cable networks, and then the revenues wouldn't pay the mortgage on your "solitude and privacy" land holdings, Mr. Turner.

11 posted on 12/13/2010 9:33:31 AM PST by Alex Murphy ("Posting news feeds, making eyes bleed, he's hated on seven continents")
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To: John Semmens; The Comedian
“There are just too damn many people,” Turner complained. “Everywhere I go there are crowds of people.

How much time IS Ted Turner spending in the Third World these days?

12 posted on 12/13/2010 9:48:36 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: NEMDF

This dork owns half of Montana. Memo to Ted: Go there and stay.


13 posted on 12/13/2010 9:49:15 AM PST by Dick Bachert (11/2 was a good start. Onward to '12. U Pubbies be strong or next time we send in the libertarians!)
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To: John Semmens; Revolting cat!; wagglebee
Prosperous and intelligent people are having too few children. On the other hand, the stupid and impoverished masses are breeding like rabbits. If we clamp down, yet give them the option of selling their birth rights they can trade their poverty for prosperity by selling to someone who can afford to pay for it.

And what is the punishment for some "stupid and impoverished" person who gets pregnant AFTER getting paid "birth right" money?

Death?

14 posted on 12/13/2010 9:49:58 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: John Semmens; All
And most of those, I’m betting, would be the offspring of superior stock.”

This is satire folks. It's made up, fake.

15 posted on 12/13/2010 9:50:10 AM PST by hoyt-clagwell (5:00 AM Gym Crew Jerking Iron.....)
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To: John Semmens
“A vigorously enforced plan could halve the population in each succeeding generation,” Turner observed. “In only ten generations we could get the world population down to a more manageable 6 million total. And most of those, I’m betting, would be the offspring of superior stock.”

Um, Ted. We could get the numbers down if we closed our medical schools, ended all medical research, and permitted WMD use in our wars.

16 posted on 12/13/2010 9:51:38 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: GraceG; wagglebee; The Comedian; JoeProBono
Billion dollar Marxists have a lot of contempt for humanity. Just ask George Soros and Bill Gates. And Ted Turner isn't the only famous person with this "kill them all" mentality:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgia_Guidestones

The Georgia Guidestones is a large granite monument in Elbert County, Georgia, USA. A message comprising ten guides is inscribed on the structure in eight modern languages, and a shorter message is inscribed at the top of the structure in four ancient languages' scripts: Babylonian, Classical Greek, Sanskrit, and Egyptian hieroglyphs.

...In June 1979, an unknown person or persons under the pseudonym R. C. Christian hired Elberton Granite Finishing Company to build the structure.[3] One popular hypothesis is that the patron's pseudonym may be a tribute to the legendary 17th-century founder of Rosicrucianism, Christian Rosenkreuz.[3]

A message consisting of a set of ten guidelines or principles is engraved on the Georgia Guidestones in eight different languages, one language on each face of the four large upright stones. Moving clockwise around the structure from due north, these languages are: English, Spanish, Swahili, Hindi, Hebrew, Arabic, Chinese, and Russian.

1. Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.
2. Guide reproduction wisely - improving fitness and diversity.
3. Unite humanity with a living new language.
4. Rule passion - faith - tradition - and all things with tempered reason.
5. Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.
6. Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court.
7. Avoid petty laws and useless officials.
8. Balance personal rights with social duties.
9. Prize truth - beauty - love - seeking harmony with the infinite.
10. Be not a cancer on the earth - Leave room for nature - Leave room for nature.[4]

In his article, "Decoding the Georgia Guidestones", Van Smith identifies three potential candidates as the true identity of R.C. Christian (Joe H. Fendley Sr., Dr. Francis Merchant, and Ted Turner). In the end, Smith concludes that Ted Turner is the most likely candidate for being R.C. Christian, stating, "Our investigation into the identity of Robert C. Christian has uncovered highly persuasive yet circumstantial evidence linking Robert Edward “Ted” Turner to the very center of the Georgia Guidestones originators. This evidence is so strong that we believe Ted Turner probably was R.C. Christian. At the very least, Turner probably knows who R.C. Christian is."[2]

Yoko Ono and others have praised the inscribed messages as "a stirring call to rational thinking", while opponents have labeled them as the "Ten Commandments of the Antichrist".[3]

The Guidestones have become a subject of interest for conspiracy theorists. One of them, an activist named Mark Dice, demanded that the Guidestones "be smashed into a million pieces, and then the rubble used for a construction project",[9] claiming that the Guidestones are of "a deep Satanic origin," and that R. C. Christian, belongs to "a Luciferian secret society" related to the New World Order.[3]

At the unveiling of the monument, a local minister proclaimed that he believed the monument was "for sun worshipers, for cult worship and for devil worship".[8] Another popular conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones, in his 2008 documentary 'Endgame: Elite's Blueprint For Global Enslavement' highlights "the message of the mysterious Georgia Guidestones, purportedly built by representatives of a secret society called the Rosicrucian Order, which call for a global religion, world courts, and for population levels to be maintained at around 500 million, over a 5.5 billion reduction from current levels. The stones infer that humans are a cancer upon the earth and should be culled in order to maintain balance with nature."[10]

Researcher Van Smith claims to have uncovered numerological messages encoded within the proportions of the various Georgia Guidestones components that link the monument to the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world which opened in Dubai over thirty years after the Georgia Guidestones were designed. Smith presents evidence demonstrating that the opening date of the tower, the death of Dubai's emir, Sheik Maktoum bin Rashid al Maktoum, and the exact height of the Burj Khalifa can all be deduced directly from the proportions of the granite slabs.[11]

In 2008, the stones were defaced with polyurethane paint and graffiti with slogans such as "Death to the new world order."[12] Wired magazine called the defacement "the first serious act of vandalism in the Guidestones' history".[3] More recently, in an apparent attempt to topple the monument, a large notch was cut from the top of the English language Guidestone near the 8" long, 1⅝" thick stainless steel dowel pin used to secure that slab to the capstone.[2] As of November 14, 2009 (2009 -11-14)[update], the stones bear a variety of graffiti. Elbert County is funding ongoing repair and has installed two video surveillance cameras at the site.[2]


17 posted on 12/13/2010 10:00:10 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: hoyt-clagwell

See post #17. Ted Turner has associations with such views. It is semi-satire. The quotes in the article were fabricated but not far off the mark.


18 posted on 12/13/2010 10:02:30 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: a fool in paradise

19 posted on 12/13/2010 10:17:53 AM PST by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Visualize)
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To: John Semmens

We could put and feed the worlds population just on Turners ranch in New Mexico


20 posted on 12/13/2010 10:37:04 AM PST by Walkingfeather
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To: hal ogen

Ted Turner said in 1992 that he wished he could have “unprocreated” (or some other word) his five children, in order to be consistent. They were not amused (they didn’t like their “stepmom” Jane Fonda, either).

“Truth is usually stranger than fiction.”


21 posted on 12/13/2010 10:40:16 AM PST by elcid1970 ("I don't like Islam and I don't trust Muslims.")
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To: Walkingfeather

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.tedturner.com/returner/turner_ranch_map_web.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.tedturner.com/ranches.asp&h=751&w=906&sz=107&tbnid=aVGf253ps-LZgM:&tbnh=122&tbnw=147&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dted%2Bturners%2Branch&zoom=1&q=ted+turners+ranch&hl=en&usg=__YBDaEqi9cqhfi9-WVzYZQQGKxvE=&sa=X&ei=I2oGTcCmD4a4sQOQ-IXODQ&ved=0CCwQ9QEwAw


22 posted on 12/13/2010 11:03:15 AM PST by Walkingfeather
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To: John Semmens

I always knew he was nut. There should no longer be any doubt.


23 posted on 12/13/2010 2:09:40 PM PST by Wuli
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