Skip to comments.DUmmie FUnnies 01-04-11 (Pitt Portrays Himself as Clarence Darrow of Traffic Tickets)
Posted on 01/04/2011 5:36:27 PM PST by PJ-Comix
It's been at least 20 years since your humble correspondent paid a traffic ticket. Oh, I've gotten my share of tickets but I have gotten out of all of them one way or another. The best way to get out of a traffic ticket is NOT to get into the police officer's face am remain calm and POLITE. You just know that WILLIAM RIVERS PITT is exactly the kind of complete shmuck that gets into cops faces for a mere traffic infraction by the very exultant title of his THREAD, "Victory is ours, victory is ours, great day in the morning, victory is ours!" He acts like his "victory" ranks right up there with the Scopes Monkey Trial. Only in this case the Monkey is Pitt himself for getting so worked up by something that is so easy to win. The easiest way to "victory" is instead of robotically paying the traffic ticket like most people do, just show up for pre-trial which is how we do it here in Florida. That is what happened to me almost a year ago. I showed up at pre-trial, the judge read my name, I came forward, and the judge said, "Dismissed." Yeah, I could have made a show of over the top exultation as Pitt did but the judge also dismissed the cases of almost everyone that showed up. I guess Broward County isn't too crazy about actually going through the costs of actual traffic ticket trials. Such was probably the case in MA but Pitt acts like he was some sort of Clarence Darrow of traffic court. So let us now watch Pitt who never went beyond the Gofer intern stage in his family law firm exult in his great victory in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who once UNBELIEVABLY got off with mere warnings two days in a row simply by being POLITE to the cops, is in the [brackets]:
Victory is ours, victory is ours, great day in the morning, victory is ours!
[The Trust Fund legal "genius" who never succeeded beyond the Gofer Intern stage in his family law firm basks in his great legal "victory."]
Last October, my wife got a $200 ticket for failing to get out of an ambulance's way (in a traffic jam, next to a construction site). We argued it, I wrote my wife's argument script, and we went to court this morning AND WON.
["Your Honor, I am putting the SYSTEM on trial here!"]
F*ck you, Massachusetts, and f*ck you, assbag detail cop who gave out that bullshit ticket. My wife kicked ALL YOUR ASSES today. Victory is ours! Bring us the finest muffins in the land.
[Does anybody doubt that with that attitude that Pitt almost always gets into the traffic cops faces? Most of the time that he would probably only get a warning by remaining calm and polite but he probably almost always guarantees himself a traffic ticket with that crappy attitude. The attitude of a complete SHMUCK.]
Oh no, Will is going to be unbearable today. He want us to bring him the finest muffins and bagels in all the land...
[Let us allow the Trust Fund Gofer in his family law firm to bask in his idea of a great legal victory.]
Good catch. I am a plagiarist, after all.
[As Michael Moore and Douglas Adams from the grave now well know since Pitt recently STOLE the latter's quote.]
Well done, Will! Did the pr*ck show up? Hope so.
[SHEESH! What a JERK. When you go to trial the LAST thing you want is for the cop to show up. I got off a few tickets simply because the cop didn't show up as I HOPED.]
Justice feels good, doesn't it? I beat a ticket several years ago--cop said I (and another driver) ran a red light, but it was QUITE green--not even yellow. I remember the DA offering me plea deals to free up the docket. I refused both offers. He asked why and I looked him in the eye and said "Because I didn't do it." He couldn't wrap his mind around that for some reason. Now, it may have helped that I was hugely pregnant when I took the stand, but I don't care. :evilgrin: (Nah, the judge had his quite logical reason--the cop was perpendicular at the intersection and couldn't have seen the status of the light in my direction.)
[Yeah, that sure ranked right up there with the Sacco and Vanzetti of trials.]
Justice prevails! You taught that dumb assbag cop and bullshit ticket a real lesson here.
[Pitt taught that if you have warm blood flowing through your veins and bother to show up at a traffic hearing, you almost inevitably get off even if you have an incredibly crappy attitude such as what Pitt displayed.]
What’s the address for the blog?
“Atta boy Luthor!”
“Oh no, Will is going to be unbearable today.”
Whaddya mean “today”?!
Today I went into a local Walgreens to see if all the big Register Rewards stuff and other sale items were picked clean. They were. Do you have to do your couponing on Sundays mostly?
BTW, the only reason Mrs. Pittsy beat the rap is because the cop didn’t show or send someone in his place. I’ve gotten three tickets in the past year(two my fault) and fought the other.Here in MA, cop shows, you’re paying plain and simple...
I saw Omega Factor 3 ($10 RRs) at EVERY store I went to today. Ditto for Vicks ($10 RRs) and SalonPas Arthritis pads ($6 RRs). I don't need the latter but my mechanic did. Good idea to keep your mechanic happy when you have a big car job coming up.
Call him Ironyside!
Call him Fatlock!
Call him .. I’m running out of lawyer shows on the tip of my tongue....
Top 20! and link to the blog please!
lol. That’s a good one.
But W. Rivers Pitt, I’m also from Masachusetts and now i’m wondering, WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?
Isn’t THAT what these ridiculous tickets are all about anyways?
I occasionally visit DU and happened to be there the day after Pitt was banned for arguing or something.
You would think a god had been eliminated.
Call him Fatlock!
Call him .. Im running out of lawyer shows on the tip of my tongue....
You are the KING of couponing!
Not to mention the DUke of the DUFU! :)
They will start paying you to go to their stores before long! LOL!
"Stand Up Next to a Traffic Ticket": 57 pages of speaking truth to power.
PJ, Could you add me to your “The Coupon Whisperer” Ping list?
I talk about your many coupon scores with my GF and she’s pretty impressed with your skills.
i think we will both enjoy it.
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