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To: smokingfrog

How many people have cats? One, two, three, four...okay, ten. Now- let me ask you this...do ya trust ‘em? Because I’ve gotta get a pair of cat handcuffs and I gotta get ‘em right away. Just the little ones that go around the little front paws or maybe the manacles..four, to get all four paws. But what a drag; I found out my cat was embezzling from me. You think you know a cat for ten years, he pulls something like this. I found out that while I was away, he would go out to the mailbox, pick up the checks, take ‘em down to the bank and cash ‘em... disguised as me. He had the little kitty arrow through the head...and the little kitty bunny ears. And I wouldn’t have caught him, but I went out to his house where he sleeps...and there was about $3,000 worth of cat toys out there. Any you can’t return ‘em ‘cause they have spit all over them! So now I’m stuck with $3000 worth of cat toys! Oh, sure...they’re fun. You got the little rubber mouse; has a bell inside of it- Haw haw haw! Boy, I hate it when it goes under the sofa! Whoa, gimme that! Gimme that! Hiss! hiss!

-Steve Martin


17 posted on 02/17/2011 10:09:39 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: dfwgator
How many people have cats? One, two, three, four...okay, ten. Now- let me ask you this...do ya trust ‘em? Because I’ve gotta get a pair of cat handcuffs and I gotta get ‘em right away

LOL When I read this, I thought of Steve, and Bill Engvall's bit about how his son's bucket of little green army guys kept getting less and less full, until he discovered that the cat had established a POW camp under the refrigerator, and was systematically placing the little green army guys in it.

46 posted on 02/18/2011 6:17:29 PM PST by Pilsner
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