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Feds Say They Can Strip-Search Anyone, Anytime
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 12 March 2011 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/13/2011 11:28:21 AM PDT by John Semmens

In response to a legal challenge to their warrant-less searches of air travelers, the Department of Homeland Security advanced the argument that it is authorized to conduct whatever searches it wants, whenever it wants, and wherever it wants.

“Our mandate under the Patriot Act is to keep this country safe,” said Secretary Janet Napolitano. “We cannot shy away from this duty out of misplaced concern for privacy lest the enemies of our government exploit such a weakness for their own malicious ends.”

Napolitano asserted that “air travelers or anyone venturing into any public place is assumed to have given implied consent to any measure we deem appropriate for carrying out our mandate. Being ogled, stripped, or probed are minor inconveniences compared to being blown to bits in a man-caused disaster.”

The Secretary defended the extension of body-scanning to those conducted by roving vans on public streets calling it “the next logical step in our move toward a continuous surveillance of all potential venues that might be occupied by our enemies. There must be no safe zones for anyone who would do us harm.”

read more...

http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/03/12/wisconsin-legislation-irks-prez/


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: privacy; satire; searches; security

1 posted on 03/13/2011 11:28:23 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Well, we can abolish this government at any time for any reason we want. Seems we ought to.


2 posted on 03/13/2011 11:30:13 AM PDT by CodeToad (Islam needs to be banned in the US and treated as a criminal enterprise.)
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To: John Semmens

I find the fact that I have to confirm it’s satire very disturbing.


3 posted on 03/13/2011 11:30:31 AM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: John Semmens

But they do exclude the muzzies.


4 posted on 03/13/2011 11:31:44 AM PDT by 353FMG (Liberalism = Communism under the guise of compassion.)
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To: John Semmens

How about a strip search of Moochelle and Obummer or the members of Congress?


5 posted on 03/13/2011 11:32:29 AM PDT by ExTexasRedhead
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To: John Semmens

“enemies of our government”

Did she just say that? It’s official we are now living in a socialist dictatorship.


6 posted on 03/13/2011 11:34:07 AM PDT by Soothesayer (smallpox is not a person)
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To: John Semmens

Oh nevermind. You got me again.

Regardless, someone in the administration actually said that at one point.


7 posted on 03/13/2011 11:35:24 AM PDT by Soothesayer (smallpox is not a person)
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To: John Semmens

Ms. Napolitano needs to 1) Read the Constitution, especially the Fourth Amendment. 2) Try SEALING THE BORDER to keep this country safe, but then that is not your real agenda is it Ms. Napolitano. 3) She needs to resign for violating her oath of office or be removed by Congress for doing so. Of course none of our Congress Critters, sadly I dont believe even Alan West, will move to have her removed for the obvious violation of the Constitution.

Ravenstar


8 posted on 03/13/2011 11:41:34 AM PDT by Ravenstar (Reinstitute the Constitution as the Ultimate Law of the Land)
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To: John Semmens

Popping some popcorn, ready to see the incendiary fallout from this one John. :-D


9 posted on 03/13/2011 11:43:01 AM PDT by Free Vulcan (Vote Republican! You can vote Democrat when you're dead.)
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To: John Semmens
I love John's “semi” news - it becomes more like reality every week. Sometimes I forget it is semi-news. He is right on many times.
10 posted on 03/13/2011 11:44:56 AM PDT by Cheerio (Barry Hussein Soetoro-0bama=The Complete Destruction of American Capitalism)
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To: John Semmens
"...lest the enemies of our government..."

Not the enemies of the United States, not the enemies of our nation's citizens, but the enemies of the government.

That says a lot.

11 posted on 03/13/2011 11:47:39 AM PDT by Celtic Cross (Some minds are like cement; thoroughly mixed up and permanently set...)
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To: John Semmens

Boy did you get me hook, line and sinker because that is exactly the way the TSA is doing it. They are violating the Law (the Constitution) a few million times a day and no consequences.

Ravenstar


12 posted on 03/13/2011 11:47:59 AM PDT by Ravenstar (Reinstitute the Constitution as the Ultimate Law of the Land)
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To: Cheerio
I love John's “semi” news - it becomes more like reality every week. Sometimes I forget it is semi-news. He is right on many times.

In addition to tweaking satire-challenged FReepers, he's also the screen name to which you responded.

13 posted on 03/13/2011 11:50:15 AM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: John Semmens

translation

we’ll ignore those who want to kill us , so we’ll ignore muslims but those old grannies, and white Christians acan be stopped and searched anytime we want


14 posted on 03/13/2011 11:51:43 AM PDT by manc (Shame on all who voted for the repeal of DADT, who supported it or never tried to stop it. Traitors)
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To: CodeToad

I second that, shall we vote ...


15 posted on 03/13/2011 11:57:04 AM PDT by exnavy (May the Lord bless and keep our troops.)
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To: John Semmens

They cannot strip search the OldPossum. My solution? Never show up at any airport...haven’t since 2000.


16 posted on 03/13/2011 12:02:32 PM PDT by OldPossum
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To: John Semmens

She is correct, when you walk into the airport, your ass is there’s. if you don’t like call your congressman, are do as i do, drive.


17 posted on 03/13/2011 12:10:51 PM PDT by org.whodat
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To: org.whodat

there LOL, theirs.


18 posted on 03/13/2011 12:12:57 PM PDT by org.whodat
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To: Grizzled Bear
I find the fact that I have to confirm it’s satire very disturbing.

It would be fun (or disturbing) to have a quiz show in which contestants were shown a mixture of real news stories and satire ones, and had to determine which were which. There are enough outrageous real news stories that identifying the satire might be rather difficult.

19 posted on 03/13/2011 12:19:09 PM PDT by supercat (Barry Soetoro == Bravo Sierra)
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To: Grizzled Bear

Why, with some of the things coming out of her mouth why wouldn’t people believe she said it?


20 posted on 03/13/2011 12:24:44 PM PDT by Americanexpat (Everytime I see that guy's face ot)
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To: Grizzled Bear

I agree with you on this.

It seems I was reading this and thinking here they go again, until I saw your post and looked up and saw it was satire.

Wow. They have stretched my comfort zone or my bounds of what I believe they would try to do.


21 posted on 03/13/2011 12:25:26 PM PDT by BookaT (My cat's breath smells like cat food!)
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To: John Semmens

Bmfl


22 posted on 03/13/2011 12:38:56 PM PDT by Circle_Hook
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To: John Semmens

So they can strip-search you at a moment’s notice, but they cannot seriously enforce border security.


23 posted on 03/13/2011 1:10:33 PM PDT by Jonty30
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To: John Semmens

Where’s the pictures, John? :^)


24 posted on 03/13/2011 1:11:15 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Sarah and the Conservatives will rock your world.)
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To: John Semmens

“the next logical step in our move toward a continuous surveillance of all potential venues that might be occupied by our enemies. There must be no safe zones for anyone who would do us harm.”

Ding! Ding! Ding! Code Words!

“all potential venues that might be occupied by our enemies”

The question is, Who she defines as an enemy. You know how ‘evil terrorist’ those tea party people are.


25 posted on 03/13/2011 1:12:30 PM PDT by 240B (he is doing everything he said he wouldn't and not doing what he said he would)
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To: 240B

My reaction to those who would attempt to strip search or fondle my kids..I knock you ass out cold!


26 posted on 03/13/2011 1:19:37 PM PDT by Yorktownpatriot
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To: Grizzled Bear

Semmons thinks the subtitles on his supposed satire articles are self explanatory....they don’t always show up in listings, however....semi this, semi that is BS in my opinion...


27 posted on 03/13/2011 1:22:36 PM PDT by Gaffer
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To: John Semmens

Okay, just so long as it’s only the white folks and their children. /sarc


28 posted on 03/13/2011 1:52:58 PM PDT by ReverendJames (Only A Painter Or A Liberal Can Change Black To White.)
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To: John Semmens
"Napolitano asserted that “air travelers or anyone venturing into any public place is assumed to have given implied consent to any measure we deem appropriate for carrying out our mandate. Being ogled, stripped, or probed are minor inconveniences compared to being blown to bits in a man-caused disaster.”

Was this conversation from a hidden camera inside Big Sister's bathroom? /sarc

29 posted on 03/13/2011 2:02:46 PM PDT by jonrick46 (We're being water boarded with the sewage of Fabian Socialism.)
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To: John Semmens

Herr Napilitano wants to bring the TSA even to our roads and highways ! In essence, a form of a national police force or highway patrol ! I know she was awful at governor of AZ and pushed for speed cameras on highways !

Remember, FUJN !


30 posted on 03/13/2011 2:22:35 PM PDT by CORedneck
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To: John Semmens

It took me a while to realize it was satire - our country has become so repressive...


31 posted on 03/13/2011 2:27:37 PM PDT by GOPJ (http://hisz.rsoe.hu/alertmap/index2.php - It's only uncivil when someone on the right does it.- Laz)
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To: John Semmens
Napolitano asserted that “air travelers or anyone venturing into any public place is assumed to have given implied consent to any measure we deem appropriate for carrying out our mandate.

BS! No one has given up any rights. Nappy-head napolitano is ful of sh*t.

32 posted on 03/13/2011 3:04:42 PM PDT by Sarajevo (You're jealous because the voices only talk to me.)
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To: John Semmens

NOte to self- read John Semmons article completely before blowing my top.


33 posted on 03/13/2011 3:06:28 PM PDT by Sarajevo (You're jealous because the voices only talk to me.)
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To: CodeToad

Yes we should! The collection by force of the volutary income tax is reason enough!


34 posted on 03/13/2011 3:06:54 PM PDT by fabian (" And a new day will dawn for those who stand long, and the forests will echo in laughter")
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To: Free Vulcan

” ready to see the incendiary fallout “

Not a bad idea....burn them at the stake. We haven’t done that for awhile.


35 posted on 03/13/2011 4:20:12 PM PDT by CodeToad (Islam needs to be banned in the US and treated as a criminal enterprise.)
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To: CodeToad

Screw this


36 posted on 04/01/2011 4:38:13 PM PDT by Freedom_HA
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