Skip to comments.DUmmie FUnnies 04-05-11 (Damning with faint prez: Pitt calls Obama "The Nowhere Man")
Posted on 04/05/2011 9:33:03 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
William Rivers Pitt, aka Will the Shill, has always been, if nothing else, a reliable party hack. So it must pain Pitt to write anything less than a fulsome paean of praise to President Hopenchange. But at the same time, if Pied Piper Pitt doesn't want to lose his audience in DUmmieland, he will have to express SOME level of dissatisfaction with how things have been going, since many progs now consider BO to be Bush Lite. What to do? Democrat loyalist vs. Pied Piper of DUmmieland? Pitt's solution? Damning with faint prez, as he does here in this THREAD, "The Nowhere Man."
It's a difficult act for Wee Willie to pull off. He's got to maintain his prog creds with the DUmmieland purists, while at the same time trying to get the forks and pitchtorches crowd to still vote Democrat in 2012.
So let us find out if the DUmmies are buying Pitt's noncommittal bowl of mush that passes for bold criticism, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, always happy to see disspirited Democrats, is in the [Barackets]:
The Nowhere Man
[The No-hair Man vs. the Nowhere Man.]
Plenty of people here won't like this, but that can't be helped. This is my opinion. No, he's not Bush...but that has come to mean less and less as time has passed.
[Pitt starts with this ambiguous disclaimer. Has he come to bury Barry or to prez him? Not sure, but he wants to sound bold about it! "People here won't like this. . . ."]
So, yeah, Obama is in. The President of the United States officially threw his hat into the 2012 election ring on Monday morning, and the nation reacted with a resounding, "Oh."
What a mess.
[What a messiah.]
Two and a half years ago, there was a detonation of optimism that echoed across the country once the returns were in on that November night.
[There was? I must have missed it.]
People took to the streets here in Boston, literally banging pots and pans together. . . .
[Pitts and paeans.]
Hindsight, however, tells us today that much of that optimism was wildly misplaced. The long shadow of George W. Bush still hung low and dark over the land, as it does even now.
[Pitt has always got to conjure up the image of his bête noire, the evil Bush, to make Democrat failure seem more palatable.]
that November night, the national nightmare of Mr. Bush's presidency was writing its final pages, and then came January, and he was gone. Despite all the failures and disappointments that have since come, those were two very good days.
[Two very good days, but only five business hours.]
Here was this new president who could sing the birds down from the trees . . .
[And turds down from the birds.]
who was introduced to the country in 2004 by way of a convention keynote address that blew the roof off the joint.
[The joint that many Democrats were smoking.]
two and a half years later, many of his most ardent supporters now hear his words and taste ashes in their mouths.
[They forgot to blow the ashes off the joint.]
You campaign in poetry, someone once said, but you govern in prose.
[You opine in prolixity, you gab on verbose.]
He and his fellow Democrats all but folded on health care, leaving us with . . .
[Health-free care. But you'll still vote for him in 2012.]
He backtracked on Guantanamo, and doubled down on Afghanistan.
[Barack McSame. But you'll still vote for him in 2012.]
He promised to erase Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy, and broke his oath shamelessly. . . .
[Blah blah blah. Pitt tries to establish his prog creds, but he'll still cajole his fellow DUmmies to come home to the Party come election time.]
He is flipping missiles into Libya. . . .
[This is the extent of Pitt's criticism of Obomber's War on Libya: "He is flipping missiles into Libya." That's it. If this were Bush, William Rivers Pitt would have written two international best-selling books by now and stood in a ditch with fire-breathing ants. Will the Shill thus shows himself, once again, to be HIGH HYPOCRITE PITT.]
in so many critical ways, he has been the Nowhere Man
[In writing so few critical essays, Pitt has been the Nowhere-to-be-seen Man.]
He has been losing policy arguments to people who are, in many instances, absolutely and unabashedly barking mad.
[Sorry, Will, it's the Democrats who have the corner on barking moonbats.]
A great many of those who gave willingly the last time . . . will not be as quick to reach for their wallets and checkbooks when the piper calls them to campaign charity with his well-worn cadence.
[Or when the Pied Piper calls them back to vote Democrat with his well-worn thesaurus.]
But who knows? Mr. Obama could choose to steer back into the wind . . .
[But who knows? Mr. Pitt could choose to not be such a windbag.]
challenge his demented opposition with a will . . .
[A Will named Pitt.]
It is tempting to comfort oneself with the notion that there are worst things in the world than a second Obama term, and there is a fat, cynical dollop of truth in that.
[In Pitt's essay, there is is the fat-syllabled codswallop of truthout.]
Two and a half years ago, it was all about hope and change. Remember that? I am, personally, waiting with baited breath for the next battery of slogans. . . .
[Pitt swallowed the previous ones hook, line, sinker, and bait.]
Nowhere Man 2012: Because Everyone Else Is Worse.
[Magic Man 2011: Because He's Got to Be a *Little* Bit Critical of Obama Now, When It Doesn't Count.]
That'll send them racing to the polls.
[Well, let's see them now racing to the replies . . .]
No, he's not Bush, but it's going to be a long 5 years.
[Which is like a long 4 business years.]
Bush was the white guy, right?
[See, it's Barry's WHITE half that is making him act like Bush!]
Less evil is still evil. . . . conservative advisers and staff were either kept in place or brought in to run the administration, and most of Bush's policies were kept in place just as they were before. In some cases, the evil was even made worse. . . .
[OK, so where are the marches on Washington? Where are the "Chimpy McObamahitler" sobriquets? Why aren't you standing in a sand trap when Bush Lite goes golfing?]
he had to be dragged kicking and screaming to help the LGBTQI community
[But they managed to buy a vowel anyway. So what's the "I" stand for, "Indeterminate"?]
you are going to take a lot heat over this
[For what? How can Pitt take heat for being lukewarm?]
You know better than to pedal this "may as well stay home stuff." While you are busy staying home, the wingnuts will be out electing more and more Republicans. . . .
[A Pitt challenger!]
Please point out where he said "may as well stay home"
[A Pitt defender!]
I think it is implied in the sarcastic line about voters racing to the polls.
[Implied Piper Pitt.]
This was a time for BIG, BOLD, EARTH-SHAKING progressive change. So far, Obama hasn't delivered.
[This was a time for BIG, BOLD, EARTH-SHAKING aggressive rage--like against Bush. So far, High Hypocrite Pitt hasn't delivered.]
My enthusiasm is gone, my expectations are nil, but I will definitely be voting, if only to keep that much worse guy/gal out of office.
[You're right where Will the Shill wants you. You haven't left the reservation.]
Obama had to have known that without some mechanism for controlling costs, the insurance industry would just jack up the rates before the legislation truly took effect. . . . And yes, I'm pissed off. This is beyond unfair... it will nearly bankrupt our family.
[Hey, we'll make a conservative out of you yet! Now transfer that logic to "raising taxes on the rich," and guess where the pass-along costs are going to end up. And where the jobs are going to go.]
You're right, I didn't like it. Cynical, unable to admit successes, disappointed....why?
[Why, DUmmie jaxx? Because Will had to write SOMETHING critical of Obama, no matter how mild, in order to maintain his prog creds and to keep the angries on the reservation.]
jaxx's post in its entirety is a personal attack.
[DUmmie EFerrari rushes to Pitt's defense.]
Really? I didn't take it that way at all. Vehement disagreement, for sure. But I stand before you unbruised.
[Will LIKES to take some meaningless little "attack" for being a harsh critic of Obama. It helps when later he comes shilling for everybody to vote Democrat again.]
It would be nice if we didn't descend into the Big Ugly but tried to keep it cordial or at least civil so DU doesn't become unbearable again.
[The Unbearable Looniness of Being . . . DUmmies.]
Nobody for President 2012
[Hey, he might win!]
PS: Yes, I'm voting Obama (though not with a great deal of enthusiasm)
[The touchscreen can't tell if your finger is enthusiastic or not.]
In a country of 310 million people, is there not ONE person who is capable of being a great president?
[Ah, NOW we know why Pitt wrote this essay! He's going to primary Obama!]
Brilliant, Will. This is one of your very best. And that is saying something, since everything you seriously write is so damn good.
[Signed, Will Pitt. . . . No, seriously, that was CaliforniaPeggy fawning all over her dear Will.]
Sorry Obama, I may vote for you, but I won't be doing any of the things I did in 2008 for you. You won't get so much as a free bumper sticker of advertising from me this time.
[Not even "Nowhere Man 2012: Because Everyone Else Is Worse"?]
It'll be a classic "hold your nose" election in 2012. . . . So, I'll hold my nose. What a tremendous disappointment though.
[Your vote will count the same. Will is saying, "Mission Accomplished."]
Yep, I remember sobbing with joy election night. I went down to the city center and there was celebrating everywhere. People were honking their horns and literally dancing in the streets. We really did believe that Obama would usher in a second Camelot. . . .
[HAHAHAHA! What a bunch of gullible maroons!]
I really hope that Obama has a challenger from the party.
[PITT PITT PITT PITT . . . The groundswell begins!]
I'm so f***ing tired of the b*llsh*t coming from various Know-it-alls...... Till I'm ready to work the hardest I have ever worked to get this man re-elected..... Me and a few of my friends. We will save this f***ed up country, where folks sit on their f***ing throne while running their mouths, trying to muster up a following for the sake of their ego being stroked. Weak @ss folks who haven't done a MO*O thing since the last Presidential election other than f***ing opine and criticize everyone and anything. Sometimes, I kind of wish that Pres. Obama would lose the next election.... so I can watch the current f***ed up attitude turned into real honest to goodness fear & panic, as folks instead of being able to criticize have to start worrying if the Internet will be available to them for much longer. I ain't never seen such arrogant superiority complex in action ever.
[Well, DUmmie FrenchieCat, you've got Pitt pegged, that's for sure!]
Sometimes I just wish Mother Nature would put us out of our misery....just tilt on her axis and be done w/ all of this sh*t.
[Spoken by an axistential nihilist.]
I think if you really spent 24 business hours just watching all the stuff he does, you'd be much more impressed.
Ouch, that hurts, that hits too close to home. B-P
Top 10 again
If some wardheeler somewhere gave him a cushy do-nothing job, he wouldn't care less what the DUmmies or anyone else did - TruthOut for Number One, our boy is.
Welcome to FR, Mr. President.
People took to the streets here in Boston, literally banging pots and pans together. . .
Sounds very third worldish to me! They weren't shaking fetishes too were they? Sacrificing chickens? Any of that?
Late night top ten!
Obama is awesome
Obama is awesome
There are absolutely no words to describe him.
I’m still waiting for Fitzmass, I never got my pony.
When Stewart’s nightly suck up show started ridiculing The One... knew the tables were turning. Losing his base is next and he’ll be heading for the 30s.
Lo, how the mighty is fallen. From "messiah" to "mess" in a mere two years.
“There are absolutely no words to describe him.”
Oh, there are words. It’s just that most of us don’t want to get banned. ;)
Are you feeling Okay woofie?
Unfortunately, he wants us to fall with him.
“No-Smoking” Man criticizes Nowhere Man.
He's a real No-Smoke man,
Sitting in his No-Smoke Land,
Making all his No-Smoke plans
I thought Pitt fancied himself as a writer. If so, man is he ever in need of an editor!
I wonder how many people remember that Pitt used to perform his schitck here at FR, before he got laughed out.
That is what Pitt is praying for. That, or even better, a media pundit job. Won't happen. He pissed off too many people (especially Hillary) with his fake Karl Rove indictment story. That is the HUGE elephant that continues to sit in the middle of Pitt's room unto the end of time.
Pitt’s breath was “baited” with sushi drenched in large doses of Sake.
[Pitt swallowed the previous ones hook, line, sinker, and bait.]
Well, looks like the DUmmies took the hope and change and now it is dopes for change. It appears they are under impressed with the won and are at the point of rebellion.
Pssssst DUmmies, here is a hint. You can all stop breathing for the next 24 business hours.
PS Charles, this is one of the best ones yet, since it shows how little they think of their "hero" now.
or better yet...
[Too much pot, joint in mouth backwards]
[And turds down from the birds.]
BWAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA! That was the best rejoinder ever. Great one, Pastor.
Excellent!! Still laughing!
wo and a half years later, many of his most ardent supporters now hear his words and taste ashes in their mouths.
I tasted ashes when I heard his words long before that, in fact the first time I heard him speak I tasted them.
Somehow, the image of Obama in a Franciscan habit preaching to the birds gives me extreme cognitive dissonance...
Charles: LGBTQI stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, and Intersex
I had to look it up, though. Some other gems from http://www.uakron.edu/groups/lgbtu/Transgenderhome.php :
Gender Queer (or Genderqueer):
A person who redefines or plays with gender, or who refuses gender altogether. A label for people who bend/break the rules of gender and blur the boundaries.
Gender-variant / Gender non-conforming:
Displaying gender traits that are not normatively associated with their biological sex. Feminine behavior or appearance in a male is gender-variant as is masculine behavior or appearance a female. Gender-variant behavior is culturally specific.
Intersexuality is a set of medical conditions that feature congenital anomaly of the reproductive and sexual system. That is, intersex people are born with “sex chromosomes,” external genitalia, or internal reproductive systems that are not considered “standard” for either male or female. The existence of intersexuals shows that there are not just two sexes and that our ways of thinking about sex (trying to force everyone to fit into either the male box or the female box) is socially constructed.
Transgender (sometimes shortened to trans or TG) people are those whose psychological self (”gender identity”) differs from the social expectations for the physical sex they were born with. To understand this, one must understand the difference between biological sex, which is one’s body (genitals, chromosomes, ect.), and social gender, which refers to levels of masculinity and femininity. Often, society conflates sex and gender, viewing them as the same thing. But, gender and sex are not the same thing.Transgender people are those whose psychological self (”gender identity”) differs from the social expectations for the physical sex they were born with. For example, a female with a masculine gender identity or who identifies as a man. An umbrella term for transsexuals, cross-dressers (transvestites), transgenderists, gender queers, and people who identify as neither female nor male and/or as neither a man or as a woman. Transgender is not a sexual orientation - transgender people may have any sexual orientation. It is important to acknowledge that while some people may fit under this definition of transgender, they may not identify as such.
Pigeonholing is hard work! But then again “pigeonholing” is not a term I want to contemplate too much in the context of this crowd.
Just ask benburch!
There are absolutely no words to describe him.
Oh, there are words. Its just that most of us dont want to get banned. ;)
That’s basically what I meant. Demonic, evil bastard comes to mind.
That's OK, in Obamaland we'll all be fitted with happy helmets and be full of synthesized enthusiasm! Then we can all sing "Happy, happy, joy joy in praise of Obama!"...
If there’s this kind of apathy from the hardcore loyalists, I’d venture to guess that a lot of dem voters will stay home November 2012. Independents will break Republican in as large or larger numbers than the midterms. I just wish Ralph Nader were running on the green party ticket. That would be the icing on the cake and the end of this nightmare known as 0bama.
Plus, as the incumbent, Obozo does have that advantage.
Firing bullets randomly into the air? No, that was Motown, or Libya.
And turds down from the bird! -I have the beatles’ ‘no-hair man’ stuck in my head now
“I am, personally, waiting with BAITED breath for the next battery of slogans. . . .”
Hey Will “Wordsmith” Pitt: the phrase is “BATED breath”— i.e., breath held in anticipation. Not “BAITED breath”— i.e., breath that smells like fermented chum.
I see you beat me to it. Hat tip! (see my post below)
I mean above. Darn, these Internets are complicated.
I live just blocks away from city hall in Boston and 'tweren't a pot nor pan to be seen nor heard (and I was out in the city that night).
He must just be confused, it's not like him to lie.
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