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Bin Ladin Spill worst thing to ever happen to our oceans
Rancor News ^ | 04/03/11 | Tyson Bam

Posted on 05/03/2011 8:07:34 AM PDT by tysonbam

Barely a year after the disastrous Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the gulf our oceans are facing an even greater threat to their survival and our own.

Countless barrels of rage, fanaticism and hate were poured into the ocean Monday as Osama Bin Laden was dumped into the ocean. This came just hours after Osama's final act on earth, using a woman as a meat shield in a US raid of his compound in Pakistan.

A consensus is forming that Bin Laden may be the most dangerous pollutant ever introduced into the already tumultuous and unpredictable oceans. The sea has always had a tenuous relationship with land-lubbers often providing food and leisure to millions. In the past decade however the ocean has been particularly prone to violent outburst as seen by tsunamis in Indonesia and Japan as well as some of the more damaging hurricanes in recent history.

“There's just no telling what the ocean will do after exposure to such high doses of hate,” explained acclaimed Nobel Laureate and high school graduate Joe Science. “There is definite concern that if the hate reaches certain levels we could face a hate wave.”

Threat levels have been elevated to red for US coastal cities but there is concern for all western civilization.

Reports are already coming in from areas around the Bin Laden spill of blowfish swimming up to boats and detonating. “It's an entirely new phenomenon,” said baffled Religious Oceans expert Gunner Whale. “Survival is the most basic instinct in nature but these blow fish don't seem to care.”

It's too early to know exactly what the damage will be to our oceans but if hammerheads and swordfish take up the cause our oceans may never be the same saying nothing of the dangers of a porpoise with a purpose.

Environmental Christian groups have been popping up around the world. Salvation for the Seas has already pledge to put ten thousand bibles in the ocean by the end of the year.

As summer approaches beach goers are advised to keep a lookout for hate waves and report any sighting of fishy fundamentalists.

Tony Hayward declined to comment on the story but it is assumed he still just wants his life back.


TOPICS: Politics; Religion; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: burial; ocean; osama; spill

1 posted on 05/03/2011 8:07:39 AM PDT by tysonbam
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To: tysonbam

WHERE WAS GREENPEACE AND THE RAINBOW WARRIOR WHEN THEY DUMPED THIS TOXIC SLUDGE INTO THE OCEAN??


2 posted on 05/03/2011 8:09:33 AM PDT by Kartographer (".. we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.")
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To: tysonbam
Let's find his body ASAP and give him the proper send off he deserves.
3 posted on 05/03/2011 8:12:18 AM PDT by lormand (A Government who robs Peter to pay Paul, will always have the support of Paul)
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To: Kartographer

Maybe the enviro-extremists will complain about the carbon footprint of our Navy Seals who went after Bin Laden.

Or, does our military buy carbon credits? Does anybody know? Maybe our military is greener than we might think.


4 posted on 05/03/2011 8:16:07 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: lormand

Let’s find his body ASAP and give him the proper send off he deserves.


Too late. The sharks took care of that.


5 posted on 05/03/2011 8:16:58 AM PDT by unkus
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To: tysonbam

A guy walks in a bar, bartender ask’s the guy ...”What can I do you for ?”

Guy says “I’ll take a bin Laden!!”

Bartender say’s... “What the fuk is a bin Laden? I’ve never heard of that drink before!! “
...
Guy say’s.... “A bin Laden is 2 shots & a splash of water!!!!”


6 posted on 05/03/2011 8:17:37 AM PDT by al baby (Hi Mom!!! <sarc>)
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To: tysonbam

Looks like we’re all doomed


7 posted on 05/03/2011 8:18:35 AM PDT by therightliveswithus
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To: tysonbam

High levels of Jihad detected. LOL!


8 posted on 05/03/2011 8:19:32 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: tysonbam

LOL

Clever


9 posted on 05/03/2011 8:26:45 AM PDT by Vendome ("Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it anyway")
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To: tysonbam

I know a guy who insists that UBL is at least ten times the man of another well known whose name we would all recognize...except, he says, that that one is no man at all.

Agree or disagree, I find his opinion interesting, but since he chooses to go unquoted I won’t name him.

Interesting, though.
Strange planet here.


10 posted on 05/03/2011 8:39:25 AM PDT by gunnyg ("A Constitution changed from Freedom, can never be restored; Liberty, once lost, is lost forever...)
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To: tysonbam

My concern is... what about the health of those poor sharks feeding on his remains? Poisonous, toxic sludge can’t be good for them.


11 posted on 05/03/2011 8:42:17 AM PDT by ScottinVA (Imagine.... a world without islam.)
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To: tysonbam

Who knew that Revelations “1/3 of the oceans turned to blood” was actually a metaphor for hate?


12 posted on 05/03/2011 8:42:42 AM PDT by Rebelbase
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To: tysonbam
Time to deploy the beach patrols


13 posted on 05/03/2011 9:37:57 AM PDT by USMCPOP (Father of LCpl. Karl Linn, KIA 1/26/2005 Al Haqlaniyah, Iraq)
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