Posted on 06/09/2011 1:40:00 PM PDT by momfirst
Hello fellow Freepers. I am looking to you for some direction and advice on where to turn on behalf of my closest friend in the world. A very horrific incident happened this week to her daughter, who was expecting her first child. Unfortunately, she misscarried the baby at 13 weeks gestation. If the devastation of that was not enough, it happened in the hospital while she was on the toilet. The nurse instructed them to leave it there and she would go get a pathology box. Very shortly thereafter, another hospital staff member came into the room, donned gloves, and went into the shared bathroom (shared between two patient rooms), shut the door, and, to everyone's horror, flushed the toilet, baby and all. My friend and her family are just beside themselves in grief over not only the lost child, but the way it was handled compounds it a thousand-fold.
The hospital apologized and said they would start an investigation, but that was it. My friend really wants to know what the hospital is doing to make sure this never ever happens to another family, but will not get any replies from the hospital, just get's the standard run-around. They don't want to sue, they just want action. We think the least the hospital could do is to follow-up and reply to their requests - and I persionally think they should offer counseling services to their daughter. The poor thing can't go to the bathroom without bursting into tears.
Does anyone have any advice or direction to resources that might help advocate for this family? We can't find any organization to help since there was no physical harm done to any person. (after all, society doesn't consider a 13 week fetus a person)
And please, any prayers would be greatly appreciated for this young woman and her family.
Thank you!
How sad for the parents...
It’s unclear to me whether or not the person who flushed the toilet did so knowing what was in the toilet. Someone may have walked in, saw a dirty toilet, flushed and now feels horrible about it. It seems that the nurse who was working with the patient was happy to do what the patient wanted.
In any case, it certainly seems that hospitals should have some procedure for when the contents of the toilet bowl need to be saved for some reason - something as simple as a large plastic “do not flush” sign that hangs on the wall and can laid across the toilet when needed.
My brother and his wife had a funeral for a 13 week old miscarried baby. It gave them closure. I hate to recommend this route, but they only seem to pay attention when lawyers are involved.
Seems the nurse was preparing for some tissue disposal when she donned the gloves.
How about requesting a meeting with the Doctor or Nursing supervisor (or Administrator?) and say you want to just discuss the matter,,,threaten to call the local tv news station and newspaper if they won’t at least talk to you.
Call a lawyer then the state hospital licensing board , HHS, and JCAHO also known as Joint Commission and file a formal complaint. the can lose their hospital licensing and JCAHO accreditation
Agreed, a simple procedure to prevent this from happening in the future should be put in place. (actually, it should have already been in place and followed)
I doubt they would have let her take the baby and bury it. They normally do NOT let you take a miscarried baby out of a hospital. They consider it just as Obama does — hazardous waste.
Prayers up for your friend. Saddest thing I have ever experienced in my life, twice. May she mourn and be comforted.
There is a very valid medical reason why it is so important that the fetus is examined by pathology. I understand your friend’s and her daughters heartache. But to get anywhere with the hospital you have to first approach this as a breach of medical ethics and procedures. Those things can and should be brought to the attention of the authorities regulating the conduct of hospitals and their staff. Trust me this is not a minor concern and your friend should demand that an investigation by an agency other than the hospital be conducted.
As to the very real pain and suffering caused by this action I would tell your friend to speak to her minister about holding a service for the child. The mom may also want to speak to a lawyer about how to make sure the hospital does all it can to remedy and prevent such situations.
OMgosh. How very sad. It is horrible to M/C, but then to have the incident afterwards would make it even more devastating. ITA with posts 10 and l4.. maybe contacting an attorney from RTL or another pro-life group who would work pro-bono.
So sad.
If your friend is up to it, go to the local paper and TV news people. The only thing that will get the admin’s attention is bad press or a law suit.
Prayers for all involved.
I sent your link to La Shawn Labarber and Jill Stanek
Pro Life Crusaders, Maybe they will contact you.
I sent your link to La Shawn Labarber and Jill Stanek
Pro Life Crusaders, Maybe they will contact you.
If you don’t sue for LOTS OF MONEY, nothing changes.
The gestation of our third child resulted in a miscarriage at 20 weeks. It devastated my wife and I, since it came also by total surprise and we were able to make it to the hospital after my wife’s water burst, but the miscarriage happened shortly after we got there and the child had passed due to the obvious consequences of the loss of amniotic fluid at that stage.
We were both devastated. My wife the most.
When I asked the nurse practitioner when and how I would get our daughter’s remains... she bluntly stated that “most” people didn’t care about the remains before 5-months gestation... I was apalled, because I knew what she was saying is that they (the hospital) didn’t care about a “fetus”... and I also frankly, didn’t care how “most” other people, according to her, didn’t care.
I insisted that this was not going to be the case for us and that I wanted to see my lifeless child and hold her in my arms. Quite hesistantly the nurse complied and brought her to me to another room where she stood looking at me the whole time. I wanted a moment alone with my child to weep and pour out my soul before God to help me cope.
I requested the body and they finally offered up a cremation service. We received our daughter’s ashes, whom we named Abigail, and made our funeral service a private family affair. This helped bring us all closure.
I will advise you to tell your friend what a close friend told my wife, who was devasted, for encouragement...
“Blessed is the tree that beareth fruit unto heaven”
I don’t know where that saying comes from, but it is precisely true... you see the Kingdom of God belongs to the little children.
We knew at that point, that the first member of our nuclear family, had gained Salvation and Eternal Life and whether or not we would get the privilege to meet her, would depend on how we would live the rest of our lives in submitting to Jesus.
From experience, this is a tough event to deal with, but God will hold her through it... and she will have a child to raise when she gets to heaven, in a perfect environment and a better place and reality that what we are all currently faced with...
Shalom and God Bless your friend and you for caring...
Apologies, the saying was:
“Blessed is the womb that beareth fruit unto heaven”
A thousand-fold? Really? What were they planing, a funeral with a casket? It's a shame these people lost their baby before it had a chance to be born, but that's just the harsh odds of the reproductive process.
Dwelling on what happened to the lifeless body that nature took from them is pointless. What possible good could come from pursuing anything related to the incident?
Try to imagine folks who are joyous at the prospect of a child being born. Imagine how they have already begun to plan for their future with the child. Imagine them sharing their excitement and anticipation with others. Imagine others joining in their joy.
Try to imagine that all going horribly wrong. The new life taken by death. Try to imagine the sorrow and suffering.
Thankfully, most FReepers can do this automatically. I hope this little exercise helps anyone challenged in the empathy area.
“There is a very valid medical reason why it is so important that the fetus is examined by pathology.”
Excellent point. And did she want to bury it? I would get a lawyer.
The only way the hospital will get the message loud and clear is through a demand for compensation for pain and suffering.
Really, many health care professionals are now severely dumbed down in the ethics department. Medical schools banned western ethics and took up humanism.
“What possible good could come from pursuing anything related to the incident?”
Uhhh, preventing it from happening to another family in the future, for one.
As was pointed out, there is a valid medical reason to examine the fetus. Holding medical staff accountable for failing to perform the duties of their job, would be another good to come from follow-up.
Wait, do you work for the hospital?
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